


Hello Bunny

by nyam_nyamo



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beomgyu is best boi, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Depression, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hyuka is best boi, I'm just so soft for all of them, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pedagogy major Soobin, Producer Beomgyu, Sad Choi Soobin, The Choi Line is full of idiots, This was supposed to be a one shot you guys, choreographer yeonjun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 72,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26318770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyam_nyamo/pseuds/nyam_nyamo
Summary: In a world where soulmate bonds started manifesting in various, complex ways, it seems almost absurd that Soobin, with the one of the most convenint bonds, aside from telephaty from birth, doesn't know his soulmate.But Soobin, being the biggest ball of anxieties and fears that he is, just wants to remain on his own, whishing he had never gotten the type of bond he has, and just wants to finish his last year in college in peace.Unfortunatly for him, life gets in the way and now he has to navigate all of his insecurities just so he doesn't end up with an even more broken heart.Or, Soobin trying to evade his soulmate's attempts of finding him just to avoid hurting him even more. ft. Beomgyu being the best friend anyone could want.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 39
Kudos: 188





	1. BUNNY Part 1: Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I'm finally back and it's so good to be writing again. Even if I'm at the wit's end with myself because I just can't stop myself from adding more and more into this fic. It started out as a simple idea in my mind and I planned only a slightly longer one-shot but then it turned into this.  
> 
> 
> So welcome to my first chaptered fic, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> tw: implied self-harm

Soobin fucked up.

He knew he did.

He knew it when he couldn't even remeber how much he drank.

He knew it when he let his toughts spiral downwards until they hit hell.

He knew it when he came back to his shared apartment and locked himself in his bathroom.

And he damn well knew it when he took that razor.

Soobin fucked up.

And what does Soobin do when he fucks up?

He locks himself in his room and pretends that both him and the world around him doesn't exist.

A more level-headed Soobin knows it isn't healthy but the one currently wallowing in the depths of despair can't help himself.

And usually his best friend and roommate lets him. There isn't much he can do anyway so he just lets Soobin feel bad for a while until he clears his head and gets back on track.

Only problem now?

It's midterms week.

And Beomgyu knows the other would kill him if he lets him skip those.

So here he is with a tub of ice cream in his hands, softly knocking on Soobin's door, not even knowing what he was getting himslef into since he had no idea what triggered the deppressive episode.

„Hyung, I'm coming in, you better be dressed“ He said as he slowly entered the room.

The first thing that hit him was the stale air.

„Soob, did you open the window even once?“

All he heard was a grunt from the huge pile of blankets so he lifted the blinds and opened the window. The before mentioned pile of blankets shifted a bit.

„Go away Beomgyu.“ it told him.

„As much as I would like to, it is my duty as your best friend and a person who has to live with your whiny ass to make sure you're, number one, alive, and number two, don't miss out on any of your exams.“

He sat on the bed next to the pile of blankets and gently lifted it to uncover the greasy purple hair and puffy eyes of one Choi Soobin.

“C’mon Soob, it’s your last year and you can’t afford flunking any subjects now, especially since you started two years late. So get your ass up and get ready.”

Soobin looked at him for a second, and then closed his eyes sighing heavily. “What’s even the point Gyu, I haven’t revised at all for today’s exam, I have no time and I’m just going to fail. I would rather not get out of bed at all.”

“That’s bull and you know it Soob. Both of us know you have a pretty good way of passing your exams even if you don’t study, and I know you’re not particularly fond of that method but don’t think that, back in high school, I didn’t notice the handful of times your hands were covered with the correct answers after a nasty exam, especially maths. Just ask him, I’m sure he would gladly help.”

“I can’t Gyu-“

“And why can’t you, Soob? Look, I don’t know what happened but he is your soulmate and from what I’ve learned about him until now he would never refuse to help you if he could.”

Beomgyu got up to go get a wet towel from Soobin’s bathroom to freshen him up a bit but before he reached the door, Soobin was on his feet with a hand holding Beomgyu’s wrist, eyes blown wide in panic.

“Don’t go in there.”

That was when Beomgyu noticed the neat handwriting on the inside of Soobin’s forearm. It read ‘ _I’m here for you if you need to talk’_.

It didn’t take Beomgyu too long to connect the dots to what triggered Soobin locking himself up in his room.

“Soobinnie-hyung…”

“Just…don’t, Gyu.”

Soobin returned to his bed looking like he was about to cry.

“Listen, hyung. I know this hurts. I know you feel like never leaving the room again. But you can’t do that hyung. If you do it’ll just keep getting harder and harder and it’ll get to the point when you will actually wish for those damned razors to take your life. And I won’t allow that. Hyung, you’re my best friend. You’re even more than that. You’re like my brother. And I love you so fucking much that a world without you would be pure pain. I need you to know that hyung. So if I need to I WILL drag you to that exam and I won’t let you do any more harm, both mental and physical, to yourself. Do you understand me?”

Soobin kept his eyes closed; Beomgyu knew it was his way of preventing the tears from spilling.

“I know, Gyu. But I can’t just ask him now without any explanation and I don’t know how I can even talk to him, Gyu, I’m so scared I ruined things all over again, I just keep hurting him over and over again and after all of that how am I supposed to ask him to help me cheat on an exam. How shameless of me would it be?”

Beomgyu’s heart broke when he saw a tear escape and roll down Soobin’s cheek. Seeing his best friend in so much pain would never hurt him any less, especially when he couldn’t help him battle the demons inside himself. So he had to do whatever he could.

He gently took Soobin’s arm with his own and lifted it so that the neat handwriting was visible.

“Do you know what this means?” Soobin opened his eyes and Beomgyu didn’t wait for his answer.

“It means he isn’t angry, Soob. Nor does he blame you. He is probably a little hurt but more than anything he is worried, hyung. It probably pains him so, so much to feel his own soulmate hurting himself. He is probably worried sick and is patiently waiting for you to just talk to him. You think you can’t ask him for a favor? Yes, it would be selfish so offer him something in return. Promise him that you’ll explain everything to him later. Just please don’t try to block him off. You’re scared but so is he. Because his soulmate decided to hurt himself and he doesn’t even know why.”

Soobin stared at the pretty letters on his arm. A tear rolled down his cheek. Then another one. And another one and soon he couldn’t keep them in anymore so he covered his face with his hands. Beomgyu put a hand on his shoulder and softly nudged him toward himself and Soobin just fell in his arms and tightly embraced him. Beomgyu could feel the tears soaking through his shirt. He could hear Soobin speaking through the sobs.

“I hate myself so much Gyu….How can I keep doing this to him? And how do I deserve being forgiven each time just like that? I don’t want to hurt him ever again Gyu. He doesn’t deserve it. God, Gyu, I just love him so much and I don’t even know him….He doesn’t deserve someone like me but I just want to meet him so much….It hurts Gyu…..It hurts….”

Beomgyu didn’t have any idea Soobin was already in so deep. That explained a lot. Gosh, Soobin was so stupid. Beomgyu was against the hidden identities from the day the bond revealed itself and if he had known it would continue for so long and that Soobin would suffer so much because of it he would’ve forced Soobin to connect with his soulmate.

They stayed like that for about fifteen minutes until Soobin’s sobs turned into occasional sniffles. He let him go and looked at Beomgyu.

“I don’t know what I would do without you in my life Gyu. I could never ask for a better friend.”

Beomgyu could feel his ears turning red. He grabbed Soobin’s chin with his hand and stared directly into his eyes.

“Damn right you couldn’t.” he said with a big smile as he let him go and lifted the tub of ice cream he brought, “Here, some ice cream to cheer you up. Now go fix yourself into something presentable, you have about an hour and a half because you just had to be the biggest crybaby. I’ll leave you alone so you can talk with your soulmate while I go sulk because I’ll probably never meet mine.”

He headed for the door but was once again stopped by Soobin.

“Thank you Beomgyu. Seriously.”

They held the eyecontact for what felt like forever and Beomgyu saw all the years of friendship flash and knew he would die for Soobin and that the feeling was mutual.

“I’m always here for you hyung. Always.”

* * *

Soobin knew this was the hardest part. He had an eyeliner pencil in his hand and wet wipes next to him but how to start? He should be so lucky if his soulmate even decided to answer him. Before he could spend all of his time trying to think of a perfect starter, he forced himself to just go simple. He held the pencil a little harder against his skin before writing.

_Hi_

A second passed.

Then another.

_Hi Bunny_

Crap. Now what? Soobin really didn’t think this through. Thankfully a press against his skin informed him his soulmate started writing and the markings started appearing.

_Are you feeling any better Bunny?_

_A bit yes, my friend put some sense back into me_

_I’m happy to hear that, tell him I say thank you_

_I will_

Soobin could feel the pressure of the pen being lifted and put back down a few times.

_Hm?_

A pause

_You know that you can talk to me, right?_

There it was

_I know, I’m sorry_

A flashback to a thousand sorrys littering his body a few days ago

_You don’t have to apologize Bunny, I was just worried about you You are my soulmate and even though you can’t do it physically you can always come to me when you’re not feeling the best. I’m always here for you. I just want you to be aware of that. So if you feel like there is anything you need to talk about just know that I’m here no matter the time of the day or night_

Soobin was a bit at a loss for words. It’s not like he never said anything like that before but that didn’t mean Soobin knew how to respond to the sheer kindness the other embedded his words with.

_Thank you, Kitten_

_So do you want to talk about what happened?_

_Actually, yes because I really feel like I owe you an explanation but I can’t right now. I’m actually in a hurry because I have an exam I need to get to_

Soobin wanted to die for doing this but as Beomgyu stated earlier he really couldn’t afford to fail a class.

_I almost forgot you’re still in college, I won’t keep you then. I hope you studied enough. Good luck_

This was his only chance to bring it up at least semi-naturally.

_About that… I hoped maybe you could help?_

‘Very smooth Soobin’

_And there it is……Is that all I’m good for Bunny :(_

‘ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION’ Soobin felt like failing a hundred classes was nothing in comparison to making his soulmate sad.

_No,no you don’t have to if you don’t want to I just_

_JK JK, of course I’ll help. What is the subject and when is the exam_

_It’s in forty minutes, it’s one of my teaching methodologies classes I’ll send you the materials if you need to_

_No need but keep in mind I’ll be busy so don’t expect too much I’ll see how much I can do_

_Thank you Kitten you’re the best_

_You only say that when I help you cheat :(_

_Don’t say that, I say it because you really are the best and I lo_

Soobin barely managed to stop himself

_You what?_

He did not just almost write what he thought he was going to write, right?

_Nothing nevermind gotta go_

_Okay, but remember to talk to me later_

_Promise_

_Bye Bunny_

_Bye Kitten_

While in the shower Soobin couldn’t stop thinking about what an angel his soulmate was and what exactly did he do in his past life to warrant him such a blessing in this one.


	2. BUNNY Part 2: And They Were Classmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin was closer to his soulmate than he tought.
> 
> tw: implied self-harm, minor character death

Soobin was sitting in the classroom and quickly scanned over the exam sheet he just got. There were a few questions he knew the answers to so he quickly jotted them down before he forgot. But that was not enough for a passing grade. He glanced up and saw the TA just sitting at his table. He quickly rolled the left sleeve of his hoodie a bit and jotted down a few questions on his wrist. Soon he felt writing on his right wrist and when he made sure the TA wasn’t paying attention he looked at it and wrote the answers on his exam sheet. While he was writing he saw a question appear on his hand.

_What exactly is the name of the class you’re taking?_

Soobin quickly wrote his answer not having the time to wonder about the sudden question.

_Teaching methodologies for mentally impaired children_

Soobin started to write a few more questions on his wrist but before he could finish another question appeared on the skin of his hand.

_What questions have you answered so far?_

Now Soobin got really perplexed but still wrote the numbers of the questions he has answered so far and before he knew it tiny, neat letters started covering his right arm. Each sentence was marked with a number and Soobin realized they were the answers to all of the question he hasn’t solved yet. A chill started to crawl up his spine.

He was here.

He and his soulmate shared the same class.

Soobin had to resist the urge to shoot his head up and look around himself but that would only bring the attention to him and he wanted to stay hidden. He tried to sneak a glance but he couldn’t really notice anyone writing on their arms and he really couldn’t risk wasting any more time so he surrendered to his fate and just started copying the answers on his arm. About the time he was done, a tall, brown haired boy that looked younger than him (even though most of the people in his class did) got up and handed in his exam and exited the classroom. Was it him? He realized now would be a good time to know more about his soulmate. He didn’t even know how old the other was, never mind what he looked like. The only thing he knew in regards to his soulmate, look wise, was that he was a he and Soobin only knew that fact after a very embarrassing incident back in high school.

Soobin wrote he was done and his soulmate very kindly wiped off the text off of his arm and Soobin did the same for his writing. Thankfully the idea to stay seated longer entered his head. He spared a glance at the classroom and noticed three guys getting up to hand in their exams. One of them was wearing glasses and he looked a little distressed, the second one was a redhead with a stony expression, and the third was short and looked about Soobin’s age. It could be any one of them, Soobin thought to himself. But before he could think of something subtle enough to test the theory both of them scurried off. At least they provided a decoy for his soulmate. In the end it didn’t matter much, as long as his soulmate didn’t figure out his identity he was good. He just hoped the other wouldn’t try anything that would expose him like writing across his face.

After about five more minutes of pretending he was still writing he put his exam sheet in the envelope and sealed it. As he was handing in his exam he glanced around the classroom one final time. Any of the guys could be his soulmate. The TA looked at him questioningly as if he wondered why he was taking so much time in handing in his exam and Soobin realized he indeed was.

When Soobin got home Beomgyu was nowhere to be found, so he just crashed on the couch thinking about the day. Almost everything that could go wrong did. From Beomgyu finding out about what he did, to going to an exam he was destined to fail and having to get help from the soulmate he hurt, to finding out he shared a class with the said soulmate.

But he was still alive even if he still felt like never leaving the apartment again he was at least still alive.

So he took his laptop and decided to double down on studying for the rest of his midterms so he wouldn’t have anything similar to today happen again.

That’s how Beomgyu found him later in the evening when he came back from work.

“I brought tteokbeoki! C’mon hyung I bet you haven’t eaten the whole day. I even have some ice cream for later.”

“You’re a blessing Gyu.”

“So I’ve been told, now come eat.”

Soobin joined him at the kitchen counter and they ate together. Beomgyu talked about his day almost the whole time complaining about how they told him to redo a part of a song he was currently producing about five times.

It was about when they were finishing with the meal that Soobin decided to tell Beomgyu about what happened earlier.

“-and when I sent him the final version the bastard had the guts to tell me the first one was the be-“  
  


“We share a class.”

“-st so I told him I won’t do anything-

What?” Beomgyu stopped himself already having a feeling where this was going.

“My soulmate and I.

We share a class”

“WHAT?!?!”

Beomgyu was gaping like a fish. If not for his situation Soobin would’ve laughed at him.

“Yuppp…”

“So you mean to tell me you met him?? What’s he like?? Is he handsome?? Oh God, he’s probably younger then you if you share a class!! Is he cute? Why aren’t you with him right now??”

Beomgyu continued with his questions for a solid minute all the while Soobin second-guessed how smart telling him actually was.

“Are you done?”

Beomgyu stared at him expectantly and Soobin explained the situation to him.

“How dumb are you Soobin?”

Soobin was taken aback by that.

“What?”

Beomgyu sighed, “Soobin, the opportunity to finally meet him presented itself on a silver platter like this and you’re telling me you will just let it pass. How dumb are you exactly?”

“Beomgyu you know how I feel about meeting him…”

“It’s exactly because I know how you feel. Damn it, Soobin, you yourself told me today.”

Soobin felt betrayed. How could Beomgyu bring up something he said during his mental breakdown?

“I didn’t mean it, Beomgyu it was just my insecurities, I-“

“Cut the fucking crap Soob. Do you think I’m so blind to not notice how much keeping yourself from him was tearing you apart all these years and still does. He is your SOULMATE. You’re not meant to be apart especially when you’re already connected through your bond.”

“Don’t you get it, Gyu?! It’s exactly that. He’s my soulmate and he doesn’t even have a choice! Even if we met, the only reason he would want anything to do with me would be because he is my soulmate. There’s a reason I don’t have any friends. Who would want to associate with someone like me?!”

They started shouting but all the fight was taken out of Soobin when he noticed the tears starting to well in Beomgyu’s eyes.

“What about me, hyung?” Beomgyu asked in such a broken voice Soobin wanted nothing more than to hug him.

He sniffed once but then hardened his expression back.

“But that is not the point right now. You always spout such bullshit Soob. You should know because one day you’re going to teach it but it’s not like your soulmate won’t have any other choice but to like you because you’re soulmates. It doesn’t work like that. Your soulmate is someone who destiny saw had the personality to perfectly balance your own. You don’t like each other because you’re soulmates but rather you’re soulmates because you’re perfect for each other. There isn’t some magic that would make you automatically like them.”

Soobin remained quiet. He knew that what Beomgyu said was the truth. But something in him was resisting because how could he explain the instant infatuation he felt when a message of a simple _Hello Bunny_ appeared next to an absent-mindedly doodled bunny on his hand during a very boring history class back in high school.

Lost in his thoughts he barely caught Beomgyu sighing.

“Whatever, hyung. I’m tired of fighting with you over this. I’ll let you be for now but just know that if I catch you crying because of this whole situation I won’t hesitate to write your name and address across your whole forehead while you sleep.”

He was a bit startled by Beomgyu being willing to let it go, but he couldn’t be more grateful so he approached Beomgyu and tightly hugged him.

“Sometimes I really wish you were my soulmate.”

Soobin heard a sniff coming from Beomgyu.

“Everything would be so much easier if that were the case, wouldn’t it, hyung?”

Soobin knew exactly why Beomgyu was so hurt by Soobin’s constant rejection of meeting his soulmate. Even if he never saw the impossible to untangle red thread, he knew it was tightly wrapped around Beomgyu’s pinky and that he wouldn’t be able to find his soulmate until he comes close enough for the thread to untangle itself. Soobin knew that for Beomgyu having such clear evidence of having a soulmate but being unable to find them was extremely frustrating.

“Let’s watch a movie Gyu. I’ll let you pick.”

Another sigh from Beomgyu.

“Okay.”

Soobin let go of Beomgyu and patted his head then went to plug in his laptop to the TV and opened Netflix. Beomgyu soon joined him with the ice cream and two spoons.

Somewhere along the line Beomgyu fell asleep. Soobin turned off the movie in which he wasn’t even that invested and carefully carried Beomgyu to his bed. As he was about to go wash up he felt a press on his arm. Soon the letters followed.

_You promised we would talk Bunny and I’ve patiently waited the whole day but you didn’t even thank me for helping you earlier_

_Is this any way to treat your soulmate </3_

‘Not now’ Soobin thought but he did promise and after all his soulmate did help him when he had every right to refuse. Soobin’s panic over finding out they shared a class shouldn’t interfere with his manners.

It seemed he took too long to answer as there was another quick scribble.

_Bunny? Please don’t avoid me_

_Don’t worry Kitten I’m not. I’m sorry, I’ve had a bit of a fight with my roommate so I failed to contact you._

_Oh… Is everything okay?_

_Yeah… we made up…_

_You don’t sound so sure_

_You can’t hear me_

_You know what I mean now spill_

_Fine… it’s just something we have been disagreeing on for years now so every now and then it blows up_

_Does it have anything to do with….you know…_

Soobin sighed heavily. There really wasn’t any more avoiding it

_Kinda_

_Care to elaborate_

_Not really_

_Bunny…._

_Kitten…._

_You promised_

_Fineeeeeee……_

_So what are the fights about?_

Soobin realized that the fastest way to make his soulmate leave him alone was with the truth.

_You_

A pause

_Me?_

_You better read fast because I don’t have enough space on my arm for the whole sob story so I’ll have to wipe as fast as I write._

_It’s okay_

Soobin had a tough time deciding how to start.

_Remember when we found out our bond wasn’t just an ink bond? Well until then I had a lot of problems and wasn’t in the best place mentally, I won’t go into the details now. The thing I did was a coping mechanism and of course I didn’t want to hurt you, so I had to stop. And having my coping mechanism taken away from me without anything to replace it didn’t do my already poor mental health any good. And please don’t think it was your fault, both of us don’t really have a choice and what I did wasn’t healthy either way. I started shutting myself off even more until I spent most of my days disassociating heavily since things were bad both at home and in school. I ended up going to a therapist in my senior year mostly due to my best friend. It helped. Not a lot but it did. My therapist made me realize that the things that happened to me were under too much of an outside influence and I couldn’t really do much aside from being better at regulating how it affected me. Aside from making me go to therapy my friend insisted that I meet my soulmate. You know the reasons for my refusal. Anyway that issue is still persistent in our friendship. Now, about what happened the other day was another smaller fight with him but later in the day I found out my mother died. She was in a car accident. It wasn’t her fault, she was in a taxi and her driver had a heart attack and died on the spot and caused them to crash into a tree. At least that’s what my sister told me. She also said that my mom’s will stated that I wasn’t allowed to attend her funeral. Imagine your own mother hating you so much she had to explicitly state in her will that she didn’t want you close to her even in death….._

_In a poor attempt to get my mind off of the whole thing I went to a club, I don’t know what I was thinking but I just wanted to get drunk and forget and one thing led to another…..My friend still doesn’t know about my mom… He would probably say good riddance….Still….._

_So that’s it……_

Soobin felt a wetness on his cheeks and thought he started crying without noticing but then he realized his eyes were dry. He cried enough in the last three days.

_Don’t cry Kitten_

He felt a touch on his cheek. It was warm. It lingered for a few moments.

_Bunny…I……_

_Today I was so happy when I figured out how close to each other we were. I want you to know that every scar we share is something I feel brings us closer to each other. I don’t care about pain. We are soulmates and if my soulmate is hurting it’s only natural I do too. And I’m glad that we have this kind of bond. On the other hand I wish I knew when you were hurting in other ways…I want to be there for you. And not just because you’re my soulmate. Bunny, even if we don’t know much about each other’s lives I feel like we know each other and I consider you at the very least my friend. I don’t want you to feel pain and I’m sorry all of that happened to you...._

Now Soobin really was the one on the verge of tears. The pen in his hand begged to write out the feelings Soobin didn’t want to admit to himself. Thankfully his soulmate distracted him.

_Bunny..._

_What would you do if we met?_

Soobin didn’t know. He never really planned on that happening. But with half of the semester remaining the possibility of being discovered was very high. He was at a loss of what to do. There was an answer that was echoing through his head but he didn’t want to even consider it.

_Bunny…_

_I don’t know_

_You don’t know?_

_Yes_

_Would you run away?_

Soobin thought about that it. But he doubted he could.

_I don’t know_

When he didn’t feel any more pressure from the other he thought the conversation was over so he went to shower and then go to sleep.

While he was putting on his sleeping shirt he, once again, felt a pen gliding across his skin.

_Bunny…_

_I decided…._

_I’m going to find you_

Soobin knew he was fucked.


	3. BUNNY Part 3: Beomgyu, You Beautiful Bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have I already said Beomgyu best boi? Because Beomgyu best boi
> 
> tw: referenced self-harm, homophobia

A week has passed with Soobin walking on eggshells. Thankfully the weather started to get even colder, the late autumn air smelling like cold rain. It gave Soobin the excuse for covering most of his body in clothes. He knew the chances of running into his soulmate randomly on the campus grounds were low, but they were never zero, so he made sure to check if there were any markings on his body that could give him away before he went out. Thankfully, he didn’t have any problems with the rest of his midterms.

But the day he dreaded the most was upon him. It was Monday again and that meant he had the early afternoon teaching class and that meant he was going to be stuck in the same room for two hours with his soulmate who had been uncharacteristically quiet in the past week but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try anything today.

Soobin quietly observed the people sitting in the classroom. He took note of both the redhead and the guy wearing glasses whom were the main suspects for now. The tall, brown haired guy, who was also in his top four suspects list, wasn’t there yet as well as the older, shorter one. Soobin didn’t know any of them which wasn’t surprising since he didn’t really bother to connect with any of his classmates. The great majority of them were younger than him and he never really was good at making friends. He just sat at the back and concentrated on whatever the professor was talking about. The shorter guy came in a few minutes later and sat in Soobin’s row almost immediately talking with the older long haired blond guy Soobin knew sat a few seats away from him. As he was walking in Soobin noticed how unusually light his eyes were.

Soon the professor came in with the TA and the tall suspect in tow and sat down the exam envelopes on his desk.

“I have graded your exams and your TA will give them out to you later since I have to leave early and we have to get on with the lessons if we plan to finish by the end of the semester but I will say I’m very satisfied by the results.” The professor said and then proceeded to start the lesson.

Soobin soon got in the zone, not letting the whole soulmate situation affect his studies. Or at least he would’ve liked for it to be like that if it wasn’t for a sudden feeling of a pen tracing the skin of his wrist. He almost flinched. He almost looked around. He almost lifted the sleeve to check the message. But he didn’t. As much as he hoped he could find out who his soulmate was the desire to not be the one found out was greater. So he pretended like nothing happened and focused back on the lesson. It happened a few more times but Soobin didn’t let him bother him.

After about an hour and a half the professor gave them all research assignments and then left. The TA took his envelopes and started to call out the names to hand out the exams. This was Soobin’s chance to learn the names of his fellow classmates so he tried to put together the names with the faces; alas he never was very good with names so he forgot the name of the short guy that looked his age as soon as he heard it. Thankfully he caught the glasses guy raising his hand when a Park Jay was called. He decided to write it in his notebook as he was one of the four main suspects. After a few more people Soobin’s name was called. He got a bit distracted opening the envelope that he missed the next name that was called but he saw the redhead a few rows in front of him raising his hand. Great. He concentrated for the next few names and found out the tall guy’s name was Kai Kamal Huening. ‘Strange name but okay’ he thought. When all the names were called out he finally looked at his own exam. A red 94% was written on the top of the paper.

Shit.

Soobin didn’t think it would be that high. He looked for the mistakes and realized all of them were on the questions he answered himself. His soulmate must be the biggest nerd. His score was never this high back when he cheated in high school. Looks like his soulmate really got his act together in collage. And then something else occurred to Soobin. If they were in the same class here it meant his soulmate was probably younger than him. That would mean he was helping someone older than him cheat on his exams in high school. With stuff that was more advanced. And now Soobin promptly wanted to defenestrate himself for never considering that his soulmate could be younger than him. But maybe not. After all there were a few guys in the class looking about Soobin’s age and two of them were suspects.

He looked at the all four of his suspects and found the one called Jay looking visibly distressed at his exam. ‘Probably not him’ Soobin thought to himself, after all, it would be hard for his soulmate to do bad on the exam when Soobin got such a high grade because of him.

The readhead had a blank expression that was impossible to read, something Soobin noticed was his usual expression.

The shorty with light eyes was discussing something with his seatmate quietly and as much as Soobin tried to make out what they were saying but they were talking in such hushed voices he couldn’t even figure out the tone and the expressions didn’t really give anything away.

Further down, in the first row, he saw the tall boy smiling contently. Interesting.

“Okay, I hope everyone looked over your exams and saw what mistakes you made. Since we have about twenty minutes left I’d like to go through the exam and explain the correct answers.” The TA spoke. “Even though I was the one to put the exam together, professor Kim was the one to grade them so if you’re confused with anything you can come to my office during counseling hours this week and we’ll see what we can do about it. For those that don’t remember counseling is available every Thursday from 6 pm to 8 pm.”

Soobin listened to the TA explain the answers to see what exactly he got wrong. Something he noticed while the TA was explaining the questions Soobin knew he copied from his soulmate was how they were almost in verbatim to what the TA was saying. Looks like his soulmate really knew his stuff. It was almost scary.

He looked at the tall boy and noticed he looked a bit bored, like he already knew everything. It just furthered Soobin’s suspicions.

Twenty minutes passed relatively quickly and Soobin went home with the face of the tall boy, Kai, in his mind. But when he was outside the building it hit him. He got an A. Without studying. When he almost gave up on that class. All thanks to his soulmate. He had to thank him. First of he lifted his right sleeve to look at the messages if they still were there. They were.

_Bunnyy…_

_We’re together again_

_Do you think you did well?_

_Bunnyy…._

_You’re ignoring me?_

_Smart…._

_Don’t worry I know you did well. I mean I knew everything so if you copied what I wrote there’s no way you did bad…._

_Still ignoring me…_

_Finee…._

_Thank me later….._

His soulmate was so endearing he could burst and the slight cockiness was extremely attractive to Soobin. But he knew about those traits already, having seen them enough times to know it was just the way his soulmate was.

_Thank you so much Kitten_

_Didn’t know you were such a nerd tho_

_It’s like the TA was quoting your answers when he went over the answers._

There wasn’t an answer so Soobin concluded the other was probably busy and simply went home.

Once again he was welcomed by an empty apartment and now that all of his midterms worries were gone he contently threw himself on the couch and let his mind wander. Somehow, but really of course, he found his mind wandering to a bad place but unlike other times he felt brave enough to face the bad thoughts without succumbing to them.

It’s been almost two weeks since his mother died. He hadn’t heard anything from his family. Usually his sister would be the one to tell him any news since he’s been chased out of his home but even she treated him to a big dose of radio silence. He looked back at his life with his parents. The relatively happy childhood and their regular trips to Jeju. He remembered how his sister would tease him when he would get sick during boat rides. And he remembered when his parents put a stop on it. How they were faster to believe his bullies rather than him. How they expected nothing but the best grades in school. He remembered how it had all gotten even worse when they found out about his soulmate because he was stupid enough to let it slip that he was a he. Honestly he still didn’t understand how his parents could blame him for it since it was a well known fact that you couldn’t choose your soulmate. But they did blame him. It was always about carrying on the family name and blood. And even after all the abuse he suffered, both mental and physical, he still couldn’t bring himself to hate them. Did that mean he loved them? He wasn’t sure. When he had gotten the news of his mother’s death he felt sad. The fact he would never be able to see her again was really frightening to him. He knew that when he finally moved out the chances of seeing his parents was low but he still hoped that maybe, just maybe, they would learn to accept him and he could see them again. But now that hope was crushed. And it made him sad. So he let himself be sad. It wasn’t anything dramatic as what he had done two weeks prior. He just laid there feeling sad, grieving, both about the loss of life that happened two weeks ago and the relationship that was broken so many years ago.

Soon after, Beomgyu got home and Soobin perked up.

“Hi Gyu!”

“Honey, I’m home.” Beomgyu joked.

Soobin laughed and let Beomgyu change into something more comfortable. He noticed the younger smiling the whole time he went around the kitchen making himself some instant noodles and after that getting comfortable next to Soobin on the couch with the hot bowl in his lap.

“You seem unusually cheerful today.” Soobin noted.

“Well I would hope so.”

“Well mister cheerful….spill” Soobin egged him on and Beomgyu’s smile only seemed to grow as he slurped his noodles.

“You won’t believe it Soob!” He said and took another bite and Soobin had to wait until he swallowed.

“You know how there’s a rookie group about to debut under the company”

Soobin nodded.

“Well, they decided to put me in charge of all the producing for the group! I’ll finally be a full time producer for a group! I still can’t believe it Soob!” Beomgyu loudly cheered and Soobin couldn’t help but to cheer along.

“God, Gyu, that’s such great news! You don’t know how proud of you I am! Now put away that bowl so I can hug you!”

Beomgyu put the bowl on the coffee table and opened his arms for Soobin the look of pride and utter happiness being obvious in his bright smile. Soobin gave him the biggest, tightest hug. He knew how hard Beomgyu had worked for the last four years, ever since he took the internship in the company and how much this meant to him.

“And guess what!!” Beomgyu piped from under him.

“There’s more?!”

“The band’s getting back together!! It’s our ten year anniversary and Innie has managed to get us a gig in this huge, retro bar!!”

Soobin couldn’t believe it. Back in high school Beomgyu was a part of, in Soobin’s humble opinion, the best Day6 cover band. They would play at any of the school’s events and would sometimes have birthday gigs and stuff like that. They usually stuck to Day6 covers but sometimes they would cover other artists, sometimes even western, and only for special events play original songs, mostly courtesy of Beomgyu himself. After high school they fell apart a bit because college, and would meet up only occasionally. They haven’t played at all in the last three years. So to say Soobin was ecstatic would be an understatement.

“I can’t believe it Gyu!! How? What? When?”

“Well Innie’s cousin works in this bar and she talked to her boss, who is apparently her soulmate, into letting us play. It’s going to be next Friday and of course I expect you to be there. I’m sorry in advance if I start getting home late at night but we have to rehearse, since, you know, we haven’t played together in a long time.”

“Of course I’ll be there, Gyu. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And don’t worry about coming late. You know I’m a heavy sleeper.” Soobin hugged Beomgyu once again, and they stayed that way softly giggling all from the pure happiness.

After some time Beomgyu decided to finish his noodles.

“How about you, Soob? How was your day?”

That was when Soobin remembered the exam results.

“I passed, Gyu.” He said with a smile.

“I didn’t even doubt it. How much?”

“94%”

Beomgyu’s eyes widened.

“Damn, your soulmate really came through.”

Soobin thought about him and how he hasn’t responded yet.

“He really did.” Soobin said with a fond smile.

After Beomgyu finished eating and cleaned up after himself he spoke up.

“Wanna know what I feel like doing?” he said, a mischievous grin on his face.

“What?” Soobin asked already feeling like he knew the answer.

“Friends binge watch accompanied by the drinking game.”

Soobin thought about it for a second remembering how him getting drunk ended last time but he quickly dismissed the thought because the circumstances were completely different. For starters Beomgyu was with him.

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?” He still tried.

“Yes and you have classes but it’s both in the afternoon so I’m sure we’ll be fine and I feel like celebrating.”

It didn’t take a lot to make Soobin agree.

“Okay but if we’re doing this we have to do it right. You still have that monstrosity your aunt calls wine but is closer to pure poison?”

“You bet I do” Beomgyu smirked.

While Beomgyu got up and searched for the, ahem, wine, Soobin turned on Netflix and randomly put on an episode of Friends and then found the drinking game rules in his bookmarks.

About half a dozen episodes later and down one bottle and they still haven’t had enough even though Soobin’s brain to mouth filter stopped working about seven ‘How-you-doin’s’ ago. Soobin paused the show while Beomgyu got up to open up another bottle, this time regular wine. As soon as the thought crossed Soobin’s mind it was out of his mouth.

“My mom died.”

Beomgyu stopped what he was doing.

“What?”

“She was in a car accident”

Beomgyu didn’t face Soobin, choosing instead to fiddle with the cork.

“When?”

“That day I cut myself.”

Beomgyu knew Soobin was drunk by the way he didn’t hesitate to say that.

“At least that’s when I found out I wasn’t invited to the funeral. She actually died two days before that.”

Beomgyu risked glancing at Soobin and saw his eyes glazed over. He wished that Soobin didn’t bring it up while they were both drunk. He had a lot of thoughts about the matter but his brain was too jumbled to put them together and form coherent sentences.

So in all of his drunken wisdom Beomgyu asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” and before he could regret the sheer idiocy of that sentence because, well, yeah, he wants to talk about it, Beomgyu you dumbass, otherwise he wouldn’t bring it up, Soobin responded.

“Not particularly.”

Beomgyu wanted to yell at him. He refrained.

“I just wanted you to know about it. Felt guilty about not telling you.” Soobin continued.

Beomgyu couldn’t deny that deep under all the other feelings there was a spark of resentment for Soobin not telling him. But he decided to leave it for some other time, preferably, when the both of them were sober.

He returned to the couch with the opened bottle and almost immediately Soobin rested his head on Beomgyu’s lap. H e patted Soobin’s head.

“Let’s talk about it one of these days, okay?” He asked softly.

All he heard was a small hum from Soobin and they continued watching the show.

Two or three more episodes passed and almost half of the wine in the bottle was gone. Beomgyu heard soft snores coming from underneath him. But Beomgyu was far from following him, if not for any other reason, than for the cramps in his legs from not moving and Soobin’s added weight. He thought about Soobin. About the way he was going to deal with him. It pained him to no end to see his best friend getting the short end of the stick over and over again and not being able to do anything about it. He wished that Soobin would at least try to solve one of his problems, that being the matter of his soulmate. He was at least glad the said soulmate decided to finally act, but knowing Soobin he wasn’t fully convinced that he wold get far, especially if he doesn’t play dirty.

Suddenly, as if something clicked in his head, Beomgyu got an idea.

‘Beomgyu, you beautiful bastard, why didn’t you think of it sooner?’

He decided to help Soobin’s soulmate, brilliant, wasn’t it? Of course, he couldn’t just rat Soobin out, their friendship would never survive something like that. Making sure Soobin was still asleep he carefully lifted his head, and got up walking, more like stumbling, to the bathroom to get eyeliner and wipes. The very tools Beomgyu suggested using after Soobin complained about how pens and markers were the absolute worst headache to wash out. He checked once again if Soobin was still asleep before pressing the pencil into his skin constantly checking for signs of waking up. He hoped the soulmate wasn’t sleeping already.

_Soulmate_

He waited. No response.

_Soulmate_

He tried again after a minute has passed. Still no response.

As he went in for the third time he saw letters starting to appear on Soobin’s other hand.

_Bunny?_

‘Bunny?’ Beomgyu tried to suppress his laughter. He will never let Soobin live this one down.

_Unfortunately, it’s not Bunny. Hi, I’m his best friend, pleasure to finally meet you._

There was a moment before an answer appeared.

_Um… Hi…Nice to meet you too. Hope you don’t mind me asking but, sincerely, WHAT??_

Beomgyu already liked the guy. Then, suddenly, Soobin stirred a little and Beomgyu feared he would wake up, but, thankfully, he didn’t.

_Listen, I don’t know when he’ll wake up so I’ll be quick and no questions. I want to help you find him so write down this number and contact me, preferably tomorrow because I’m a little out of it right now._

He then wrote down his number and waited for a minute carefully monitoring Soobin.

_Got it?_

A few seconds passed before a _Yes_ appeared.

_Great. I’ll go now but text me. Not a word to S_

He had to stop himself before he the name slipped.

 _your soulmate got it? Bye now_.

And with that he wiped the messages off and saw the ones written by the soulmate disappear.

As he stood up to fetch a blanket to cover Soobin he checked once again whether Soobin was sleeping.

“Soob?” He tried carefully and when there was no answer he could finally feel his shoulders relax.

He had to remember to thank his aunt for the “wine”.

And with that thought left in his drunk, scrambled brain, he went to sleep.


	4. BUNNY Part 4: Ohana Means Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My brain: Shouldn't you be writing Taebin?  
> Me: But....Soogyu best bois  
> My brain: Understandable, have a great day
> 
> Seriously tho, here's one more soft chapter of Soogyu being the bestes of friends, and then we'll get to the good stuff. Also this will be the shortest chapter and they'll start getting much longer soon so dw. Enjoy ;)

Soobin woke up the next day with the biggest headache. He looked at the time seeing it wasn’t much past ten. He had time to get his shit together before his afternoon classes. He willed himself to get up and went to the bathroom to wash up.

He got out feeling slightly better and much cleaner. Then he decided to check up on Beomgyu knowing the other drank more than him. Most of last night he remembered was spent in laughter and it made him regret the splitting headache a little less. He grabbed some pills from the kitchen and poured a glass of water. He swallowed one of the pills and then headed to Beomgyu’s room. He knocked softly and when he didn’t get an answer carefully entered knowing Beomgyu also had places to be and he wanted to give him enough time to get ready.

He sat on the bed next to the pale, sleeping body and gently patted his head. He more so felt, rather than saw, Beomgyu stir.

“Gyu, c’mon, time to get up or you’ll miss work.” He said softly threading his hand through the gray hair.

“Don’t wanna…” Beomgyu whined.

“You have to, Gyu. You knew what you were getting into, now you have to deal with the consequences.” Soobin said with a soft smile.

After a few, very begrudging, sighs, Beomgyu batted at Soobin’s hand, still in his hair.

“Fineeee…”

Soobin giggled “Atta boy! There’s medicine and water on your nightstand. I’ll go make some hangover soup and you get ready okay?” And with that Soobin exited and went on to the kitchen to make the damned soup.

About half an hour had passed until Beomgyu exited his bedroom, looking much more alive. He sat at the counter his head in his hand silently observing Soobin finishing the meal. After it was done and the both of them were sitting, silently eating, Beomgyu spoke up.

“So….Dead mom, huh?”

Soobin choked on his noodles.

“W-what?” He stuttered.

Beomgyu looked at him apprehensively. “You told me last night.”

Suddenly a fragment of the memory surfaced in Soobin’s mind. Damn him and his drunk self. But what’s done has been done. The truth was out and, honestly, Soobin was a little glad he finally told Beomgyu.

“Ummm…...yeah…. I’ve been meaning to tell you but never found good timing. Guess drunk Soobin didn’t care all that much.”

Beomgyu let out a small snort at that, “Guess he didn’t. But seriously, hyung, do you want to talk about it?” he asked, worry lacing his voice.

Soobin didn’t really know how to answer that so, as he often did in these situations, he opted for the truth.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about, really. Some time has passed and I dealt with most of it already, even if some of the dealing with wasn’t the best, but I did. Right now I just don’t feel too strongly about it. Yes, if I think about it I’m sad and hurt, but I don’t think that will ever stop. She was my mother after all. But I think I’ve come to terms with it. I don’t think I’ll ever reconnect with my family and this is what made me realize it, so no matter if I’m sometimes sad about it, there’s nothing I can do. I’ll be okay.” He confessed. There really wasn’t anything he could do. He will still care about his family deep down, but their relationship was over. His mother’s death made him finally come to terms with that fact.

Beomgyu listened the whole time and Soobin saw the sadness in his eyes. It just made him want to hug the smaller. So he did exactly that.

“I’m okay, Gyu. Don’t worry your pretty little head over it okay?”

Beomgyu, now in his arms, let out a small laugh.

“You’re so strong hyung.” He said, words coming out a little muffled. He wiggled himself out of Soobin’s hands and then put his hands on Soobin’s cheeks. Soobin could see his eyes watering but before he could say anything Beomgyu spoke up.

“Listen, hyung. I hope you already know this, but just in case you don’t, I’m going to say it. Your family is right here. And it will always be right here. I will always be right here.”

Soobin could cry. Of course he knew. How could he not when Beomgyu was the one constant in his life. He was with him both during his worst days and during the best ones. He usually was the reason for the best ones. Even when he left home Beomgyu was the one to take him in. Never complaining, never getting angry, even when Soobin succumbed to his worst desires, he was always, selflessly, unconditionally, there for Soobin. How could Soobin, ever, not know how much Beomgyu loved him when he hadn’t allowed one day to pass without letting Soobin know. So, yes, Soobin could cry from the overwhelming love spilling from Beomgyu’s eye in the form of tears. Instead, he softly wiped Beomgyu’s tears and hugged him tightly.

“I know, Gyu. Thank you.” There were no words to express Soobin’s emotions for Beomgyu so he had to go for simple, hoping Beomgyu could feel the love he felt for him.

“You better.” Beomgyu let out a small laugh and returned the hug.

They stayed like that until Beomgyu let go uttering a quiet “We better get ready, we have to leave soon.”

On the way to class Soobin contemplated the existence of purely platonic soulmates because he was pretty sure Beomgyu was his.


	5. BUNNY Part 5: Mr. Han And Jinnie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another shared class? Moving the plot a little bit? The best non-txt character in the fic? First glimpse of an important character?  
> Yup  
> This chapter has it all.
> 
> tw: panic attack

The rest of the week passed fairly uneventfully, and it was once again the time for the class Soobin dreaded the most. He hadn’t heard from his soulmate at all since the last class, not even to brag about how he was the sole reason for Soobin’s high grade.

Soobin sat in his usual seat and watched as his classmates arrived one by one. The stony faced redhead was already there when he came but Soobin gave up on figuring him out at all. He just couldn’t read the guy. Very soon after Soobin took a seat , the long haired guy who sat close to Soobin walked in. Only now, Soobin was stunned by the bubblegum pink hair color he was boldly sporting.

A few minutes before the class was about to start the TA came in, again, with the tall Kai guy in tow. Waiting for the class to start, Soobin noticed the two of them chatting. He didn’t know if it was class-related or not but it looked awfully a lot like friendly banter. Kai didn’t seem like a guy that was hard to be friendly with, what with all the loud, bubbly laughter filling the room, so Soobin wondered if they actually knew each other outside the class. Not that it seemed unlikely; the TA did look pretty young. Soobin did remember something about how it was his first year as a TA from the start of the semester.

The class started and the TA announced the professor couldn’t come today so he would teach today’s lesson. Not like Soobin cared either way.

About ten minutes into the lesson the door burst open and a disheveled guy entered. Soobin recognized him as the older shorty, one of his main suspects. He muttered a soft sorry for being late to the TA but instead of making his way to his seat he just stood there and looked somewhere near Soobin and Soobin noticed the very unusual color of his eyes.

‘Oh’ Soobin thought.

The shorter suddenly yelled.

“JINNIE, WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO DYE YOUR HAIR?!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I FREAKED OUT THIS MORNING?!?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?? I MISSED THE BUS BECAUSE I COULDN’T STOP ADMIRING IT!”

Soobin watched as the whole class, most of them trying, more or less successfully, to hold in their laughs, turned toward the long haired guy, Jinnie apparently, whose face looked almost as pink as his hair. Soobin heard him muttering something along the lines of “’Fucks sake, Jisung…” and then he heard the TA, also looking incredibly endeared by the whole affair while Kai’s boisterous laugh echoed through the classroom, speaking.

“Mr. Han please, go to your seat, I have a lesson to teach.”

The, now pink-eyed, boy proceeded to go to his seat and exchanged a few words with the pink haired boy. Soobin heard some giggling from the long haired guy. He heard about hair-eyes bonds before but never saw them. It was kinda cute the way they matched, he had to agree. He mentally crossed ‘Mr. Han’ and ‘Jinnie’ off his list, even if ‘Jinnie’ never really was on it.

The rest of the class went by peacefully and it was time for a fifteen minute break. Soobin usually stayed in his seat but he really needed to go to the toilet and stretching out his long legs didn’t seem like a bad plan. So he made his way to the nearest restroom. He couldn’t help but notice Kai, once again, chatting with the TA. Soobin has crossed two names of his initial suspect list. It left two more options, if his soulmate even was one of them. And Soobin honestly had no idea who the more likely suspect was.

Soobin was washing his hands when someone exited one of the restroom stalls and started washing his hands beside Soobin. When he looked up he realized it was the redhead. He tried to sneak a few glances but then he noticed a small deer tattoo right behind the other’s left ear. Before he could stop himself, his mouth opened, “That’s a pretty tattoo” it betrayed him. Technically, if he had it done before Soobin’s soulmate bond manifested, Soobin wouldn’t have it too. The other would’ve had to be pretty young when he got it for that to be true.

The redhead smiled shyly, a light blush appearing, an expression Soobin couldn’t have imagined on him but suited him nicely.

“Thank you. It’s actually my soulmate mark.” He said.

Another suspect crossed off his list.

“That’s pretty cool”

Although Soobin could’ve stopped their interaction there, something in the fond smile that graced the other’s expression when he told him it was a soulmate mark made him feel compelled to ask.

“Have you met them yet?”

“Yeah, it’s been almost two years.” He said.

Soobin suddenly felt a curiosity he has never felt before.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how was it like? Meeting them?”

The other had a pondering look for a second but then a big smile graced his face.

“A bit messy at first” he giggled, “But funnily enough, now that I look back on it, I can only remember the happiness of finally finding my other half. I wouldn’t trade him for the world.” He finished.

Soobin was a little stunned by the genuine affection he felt pouring out of the redhead. He briefly entertained the idea of feeling the same happiness but all of the other doubts soon trampled it until nothing was left of it. The redhead’s voice brought him out of his head.

“What about you, if it’s okay to ask?”

Soobin looked at the other. What was he supposed to say? That he just decided to not meet his soulmate ever, even if he had the perfect bond to meet him. Unfortunately, in a bout of the worst timing ever his right hand, the one closer to the redhead, started manifesting letters.

“Oh, an ink bond.” the other said, a little bit of excitement leaking into his voice. “Then you must’ve already met” He smiled.

Soobin felt the panic staring to crawl up his back.

“No, a- actuall-“ but before he could finish he heard a happy yelp from the redhead.

“Oh! He’s in our class? Who is it? I never really noticed you talking to anybody…”

Soobin then looked at the words on his hand.

_So? Thoughts on Jisung and Hyunjin? I think they make a cute couple, not gonna lie I’ve kinda seen it coming…But the situation was absolutely hilarious._

This was bad. Soobin could feel his heart quickening. He just wanted to get out of this situation. It seemed the redhead noticed something was wrong.

“Or not…Do you not know who it is? I could help you find them if you want..”

And out of nowhere Soobin found his voice.

“No!” he didn’t mean to yell so he stilled his voice “Please, don’t…” He hoped the tears welling in his eyes weren’t visible.

The other’s face fell and then he looked at Soobin with apprehension.

“Oh…Listen, I may not know you but let me tell you, I get it.”

Soobin kept his eyes glued on the floor. Then he heard a sigh.

“It may not be my place to tell you, but a word of advice, if you’ll allow me. You should find them. You may think it’s not a good idea right now, but believe me it is. You are literally made for each other and they are your other half. Without them you’ll never feel complete. Everything will be better once you meet and no time will pass before they are all that matters to you. So if I can in any way influence your decision I advise you to meet them as soon as you can.”

Soobin felt eyes on him for what felt as ten minutes but were probably seconds, before the redhead turned around.

“See you in class Soobin.”

And then he left. And Soobin put his full weight on the sink, fearing his legs would give out under him.

Soobin was stunned by the fact the other man knew his name.

He thought about what the other said ‘Before you know it they will be all that matters to you…’ Soobin heard it repeating in his head.

‘That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.’

On his way back Soobin saw the TA and Kai chatting with another man. Soobin has never seen him before. By his looks Soobin could tell he was older than him, ‘Maybe another TA?’ But he honestly didn’t look anything like a TA. Even if the combination was simple, the long sleeved orange v neck neatly tucked into the wide white pants, it just screamed high fashion. Paired with a white beret underneath which was the stranger’s most striking feature, electric blue hair, it gave much more of a runway model vibe then a collage TA vibe.

As he passed the three men he heard the model speak to the other two.

“-so I’ll pick you up after class for lunch and then-“

Not wanting to seem rude, or like he was listening in to their conversation he moved quickly.

When he sat down he felt another glide of the pencil.

_Bunny_

_Are you ignoring me again :’(_

Soobin thought about what the redhead said earlier. He thought about the fond smile gracing the other’s face while he talked about his soulmate. And then he thought about the cute pout that was surely on his soulmate’s face. Fine. He wins. Soobin could only ever deny him his name. So against his better judgment he responded,

_You wouldn’t be ignored if you wanted to talk any other time beside during class :/_

A response came almost immediately.

_But technically it’s not during class since the break isn’t over yet._

Soobin looked around as subtly as he could. The TA still wasn’t there which meant the break really wasn’t over yet. He noticed that Kai wasn’t in his seat yet either. The evidence of Kai being his soulmate just kept on pilling up, but still… Maybe he was still talking to the model. There were a few more guys in the class he hasn’t even considered yet. It could be any one of them.

_Bunny…._

Honestly, he couldn’t even with his soulmate.

_They’re cute I guess_

He decided it was enough and soon after Kai and the TA entered so Soobin focused on the remainder of the class.

* * *

When Soobin exited the classroom he saw the model standing there. He looked at him once again because even he couldn’t resist some free eye candy. He continued walking and when he exited the building a body slammed into him. He started to apologize at the same time as that person but the voice sounded awfully familiar.

“Beomgyu?”

It indeed was the younger that looked up at him, his gray hair a mess from obviously hurrying to get here. In his hands he was holding two to go coffee cups.

“What are you doing here?”

Beomgyu smiled wide.

“Soobinnie! They let me off the work early and since I’ll be practicing with the boys later and won’t be home till late in the night if at all I thought I could surprise my favorite hyung with a warm coffee while we walk home.” He smiled impossibly big and Soobin couldn’t help feeling all of today’s stress just melt away the same way snow would melt under the warmth of the sun.

It’s true the younger was getting home very late these days and some days he didn’t come back at all. So Soobin would wait for him even if only to receive a message at two in the morning that Beomgyu was staying at whoever’s house they were practicing that day. Of course, Beomgyu told him not to wait for him but Soobin wanted to. Beomgyu would do the same for him anyway.

While they were standing there and Beomgyu was handing Soobin his coffee Beomgyu suddenly jerked and his facial features were overcome by shock.

Almost as suddenly his eyes started welling with tears and his hands started shaking fiercely. Before Soobin could ask what was happening he was hurriedly handed both coffees.

“I-I have t-to go, h-hyung. H-he’s here. Soobin. He’s h-here. I- I have to… S-Soobin I-I h-have to g-go… D-don’t follow m-me. W-we have t-to meet a-a-alone… G-go h-home hyung…. I-I’ll see y-you later…” He stuttered through soft sobs and before Soobin could react Beomgyu disappeared through the doors of the Teaching department’s building. Soobin’s first instinct was to follow him but he stopped himself before he did. Beomgyu told him to go home. However incoherent it was, he didn’t want Soobin to witness whatever was about to happen. And Soobin had a pretty good idea of what it was. So he let Beomgyu handle it. The younger was strong, he could do it. Unlike Soobin. He supposes he would react the same but for completely different reasons. Where Beomgyu probably felt relief Soobin would feel a gut twisting fear. Where Beomgyu probably felt indescribable happiness Soobin would feel nothing but the crippling abyss of regret and sadness.

But Soobin decided he wasn’t going to go down that road today. It was probably going to be the happiest day of Beomgyu’s life and he would never dream of making it not that by making another fatal mistake like three weeks ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all the multis reading this, if you can guess who the redhead and his soulmate are you'll get a virtual cookie from me. A hint: he's the maknae in his group


	6. BUNNY Part 6: The Red String

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how almost every TV show/anime has that one filler episode before everything goes down that you feel like skipping but it almost always has some important information, usually in the end, so you have to watch even if most of the episode is compleatly irrelavant...  
> That's this chapter, basically
> 
> Also it's for all the Yeongyuists out there who have been patietnly waiting so get ready for a whole chapter of Yeongyu fluff.

Beomgyu was rushing down the unfamiliar halls following the, now taut, red string. He couldn’t stop his eyes from spilling tears of pure relief of finally finding his soulmate. His brain played all of the various scenarios he thought of since he was old enough to know what the red string around his pinky meant, a fear of being rejected trying to worm itself into his head. But there was only one clear thought in his mind, one that overpowered every other. He wanted to finally, finally meet his soulmate. To see them, to hear them, to touch them, to know them. He just ran as fast as he could. And then he saw them.

He saw him.

The red string, until now only visible to him, previously loose and tangled and going in endless circles like a ball of yarn viciously sprawled out by a playful cat, was now completely taut and straight, connecting his pinky with the person on the other side of the room in the most straight-forward way.

And then, despite the large amount of people and room dividing them, their eyes met.

And it was like the whole world melted away and even time itself decided to stop for them, leaving only the two of them, staring into each other’s eyes, the red string, connecting their pinkies, and Beomgyu’s wild heart, beating impossibly fast in his chest, the sound of it muting every other sound around him.

Someone bumped into him and the world started moving again. Beomgyu was barely aware of the tears flowing down his face as he pushed through the crowd with a single goal in his mind.

His one and only.

His other half.

His soulmate.

His mind quickly replayed all of the times he barely missed him. All the times he felt a pull on the string for barely half a second. How confused he was the first few times. Every other time when he tried chasing the pull but it disappeared too fast and left Beomgyu losing just a little more of his hope. The times he didn’t even bother, having given up on ever finding him. All of those times leading up to this.

Standing in front of his soulmate. Nothing could have ever prepared him for this.

His soulmate was breathtaking. His whole aura begging everyone around him to keep their eyes on him. Beomgyu had a hard time grasping the sheer amount of beauty the other had. From his long, long legs, to the perfectly sculptured torso, up , over the beautiful collarbones peeking through the deep v-neck of his shirt and just how much the warm orange matched with the warmth of the expanses of the unmarked skin, getting to the face that screamed both kindness and mischief with the narrow foxy eyes that had no right getting along so well with the fullness of his cheeks and the cute button nose but still fitting perfectly with the most sinful pair of the currently slightly agape lips that looked like they could destroy Beomgyu with just as simple a thing as a smile, and ending with the blue hair that looked so electric Beomgyu feared that, if he were to touch it, he would get zapped by it.

But the mere appearance wasn’t all there was to the image of perfection standing in front of him.

The straightened back was an indicator of confidence, if one could not tell by the bold fashion choices, and with just the tiniest look at the flawless skin one could tell the man in front of them took care of himself.

But it was in the small details, some may call imperfections, where his soulmate truly shined. It were those small crinkles around his eyes and lips that made you aware of the bright personality, hidden, not so successfully under the bright orange shirt, just beneath this heavenly painted image. It was in the many colorful earrings. It was in the way his hair wasn’t as perfectly styled signaling how often he fiddled with it, the reason to which Beomgyu more than looked forward to discovering. It was in the way his eyes shined with a hundred galaxies and in the way he looked at Beomgyu as if he was taking him in the same way he was taking the other in, which would be silly because there just wasn’t so ……much….of Beomgyu to take in.

Beomgyu couldn’t believe he deserved to have someone like him as his soulmate and yet the red string around their pinkies proved otherwise.

And then he saw those plush lips moving, a hesitant voice coming out.

“C-Can I?”

It asked, for what, Beomgyu didn’t know but it didn’t even matter because he would give him everything he asked of him. So he nodded, like a fool incapable of speaking when he’s seen the most beautiful landscape, but there was no sense in denying that that was what Beomgyu was. Just a fool helplessly in love at the first sight, completely at the mercy of the embodiment of all that was good in this world.

He felt two soft hands on his cheeks wiping away the tears that couldn’t stop spilling from the moment he felt the tug that remained there until it brought him to the one he’s been looking for, for his whole life.

Those pink lips moved again.

“I can’t believe you’re here. In front of me. You’re real.”

And the eyes that previously shined with a million stars started glistening over with tears and that was the last thing Beomgyu saw before he was pulled into a tight but gentle embrace, the kind of an embrace two lovers share after being separated by the cruel destiny and then reunited after many years. It wasn’t fitting for two complete strangers but Beomgyu was at the point he couldn’t even care. He finally had his soulmate in his arms.

“I’m here. You found me and I found you and I can barely believe it too but we’re here and I’m not letting you go ever again.” Beomgyu whispered promises of forever to his soulmate’s ears and even though he could feel eyes on them, for this short while, he let himself get lost in the moment where it was just the two of them with nothing between them but a very short piece of red string that connected their pinkies.

After a minute or two his soulmate let go.

“We should probably get out of here…Are you free?”

Beomgyu didn’t even had to think about quickly sending a message to the band’s group chat that he was going to be late.

“Of course I’m free. Did you have a place in mind?”

His soulmate smiled widely. “Yeah there’s this cozy café a ten minute walk from here.”

“Then lead the way.” Beomgyu gestured for the other to start walking.

Naturally, their hands connected and the walk to the café was mostly silent save from a few giggles from both of them, the happiness just too much to contain. Both of them were probably thinking about everything they wanted to ask the other. Beomgyu knew he was.

They entered the small café and Beomgyu felt like he escaped the gloomy December weather and was transported to some other world. It looked like a beautiful indoor garden, plants covering almost every surface, and the fairy lights hanging all around them gave the place an otherworldly quality. Any lighting, aside the fairy lights, that was in the place, was dimmed to a soft, warm glow, and Beomgyu couldn’t help but feel that the whole place fitted his soulmate perfectly. He was kind of glad they were the only ones there. It added to the magic. They sat in a corner where there were two big antique-looking leather armchairs across each other with a wooden table between them.

“What do you want to drink?” His soulmate asked.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.” Beomgyu answered.

Soon a waitress came by.

“Hey oppa, I was wondering when you were going to come by again. Want your usual?” She spoke and suddenly Beomgyu felt a slight pang of jealousy. He didn’t like the feeling knowing there was nothing he could do about other people knowing his soulmate but he couldn’t stop his heart from hurting a bit.

As if he sensed his distress his soulmate gave him a smile and Beomgyu felt a slight pull on the string. Guess that would be something they could do from now on.

“Yes I’ll have the usual, but make it times two. And do you still have those blueberry muffins?”

“Of course we do.”

“Then I’ll take four”

Beomgyu fiddled with his sleeves waiting to be left alone with his soulmate when he noticed the waitress shift toward him.

“And for your friend?” She asked, a teasing smile on her face. That was the first time Beomgyu actually looked at her. Her form was tall and slender, her black apron barely reaching the mid thigh of her long legs clad in bootcut jeans, a brown sweater tucked in them. Her long, flowing,black hair was neatly tied in a low ponytail, a silk, purple ribbon holding it together. But looking at her face more closely, Beomgyu couldn’t help the sense of familiarity he was feeling, the same look he could guess he showed, mirrored on the girl in front of him.

Suddenly his soulmate’s pouty voice came through, “Yah, Yoorim, of course it’s for the both of us-”, but was soon interrupted by the girl’s voice.

“Bamnam PD-nim?” she voiced not looking so sure of herself and then her name dawned on Beomgyu.

“Aisha-noona? What are you doing here?” Beomgyu really was surprised to see one of his company’s former artists working in a small café. She used to be one of the smaller soloists in his company and one of his first producing projects, they even got along pretty well, until she left the company for, to Beomgyu, unknown circumstances. As far as he had heard, it was due to personal reasons. He remembers hearing she was now a choreographer for some dance studio from one of the trainees but looks like it wasn’t true. “I thought you decided to pursue a career in choreographing?”

A shy smile appeared on her face, “I did, this is just my second job, you know how it is, financial stability and all. But yeah besides this I’m one of the choreographers at oppa’s studio.” She looked at Beomgyu’s soulmate and Beomgyu couldn’t help the look of shock and slight confusion on his face. Neither could his soulmate apparently.

“Oh yeah, PD-nim,” Aisha continued, “do you still work for the company? Oppa told me we just signed a contract to choreograph for the new group that will debut soon. Is that why you’re meeting here?”

Beomgyu needed a few seconds to process that information. Not only did he meet a former colleague, who now, apparently, worked for the dance studio his soulmate owned(?), but also that studio was to work on the newest group’s debut, the very one he was recently assigned to. That would mean his soulmate would choreograph the songs he writes. Absolutely wild. For all the times he cursed at fate for keeping him and his soulmate apart, it really didn’t hold back when it came to bringing them together. Beomgyu felt like he wouldn’t be able to process all of that properly for at least a few days.

“No, actually, we’re not Yoo. We’ve only met today actually.” It seemed like his soulmate was quicker at absorbing the shock and now Aisha was the confused one.

“Then why…” she asked hesitantly.

“We’ve just found out we’re soulmates.”

Beomgyu was stunned by how easy those words left his soulmate’s mouth. By the feeling of pride he felt from the other. He couldn’t believe his soulmate would be the one to feel proud for having Beomgyu as his soulmate.

“Oh…” Aisha stood there, looking from one of the to the other, stunned. And then the biggest smile blossomed on her face. “Oh my god, congratulations!! Who would have thought? I’m so glad for you guys!! Let me go get your order and then I won’t bother you anymore. And if you want to catch up, PD-nim, you can mostly find me here and if not oppa will know where I am.” she said, smiling and with that, she left.

Beomgyu looked at his soulmate and saw him already looking at him, a raise eyebrow making his face more cocky in the best way possible. “So, a big company producer?” he said, a smirk gracing those beautiful, plump lips.

Beomgyu was caught off guard for a hot second before he fired back “So, owning a dance studio and choreographing for a big company?” in the exact same tone the other used.

At that, his soulmate burst into a fit of giggles and it was the most magical sound Beomgyu had ever heard. When he calmed down a bit he asked “Okay, okay, how about we start from the beginning?” and Beomgyu nodded happily.

“So, first things first, I would be happy to know your name.”

Beomgyu could feel the start of a blush forming. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting to know his soulmate.

“Choi Beomgyu.” he answered and another round of giggles followed, ending in a playful smirk.

“Well, good news for you, you won’t have to change your last name when we get married.” The slight earlier blush on Beomgyu’s face now reached his ears. Of course his soulmate would be a flirt. “Nice to meet you Beomgyu, my name is Choi Yeonjun.”

Beomgyu now had a name to put to his beautiful soulmate. Yeonjun. Yeonjun. It just sounded right.

“Okay, next up, how old are you?”

“24” Beomgyu answered simply, and he could see the slight surprise on Yeonjun’s face.

“I thought you were older. I’m 26.” Now, Beomgyu wasn’t the one to pass an opportunity for teasing.

“Wow, my soulmate is a whole grandpa.” He laughed when Yeonjun kicked his leg under the table.

“Yah, I’m only two years older then you, what kind of disrespect is this?” He said while pouting and Beomgyu felt like kissing that pout off of him.

“Ok, Boomer.” Beomgyu felt overjoyed as the look of faux offense took over Yeonjun’s face. He was too adorable.

“Yaaah!! Don’t you ok Boomer me you little-“ He was interrupted by Aisha coming back with their order.

“I see you’ve started to get to know each other. Here’s your order. Two jasmine teas and four blueberry muffins. It’s on the house.” As both of them went to complain she stopped them. “Don’t even try. Today is a special day for the both of you so just enjoy.” And with a wink she went away.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun stared at each other. And then they both burst out in laughter and when it reduced to giggles Yeonjun spoke.

“So we covered name, age…what next?”

“Where do you live?” Beomgyu muttered, not being able to help himself, but then he noticed how Yeonjun’s eyes widened in surprise. “Please tell me you know what I just referenced.”

Yeonjun nodded. Beomgyu couldn’t believe they even listened to the same soundcloud artists. They were truly soulmates.

“Maybe we could talk about our jobs now…” Yeonjun said hesitantly, “So you’re a producer…Video or music?”

“Yeah I’m a music producer for the company that signed you on; actually I’ll be producing for the group you’ll be choreographing…” Beomgyu said, feeling shy once again.

“No way…” Yeonjun said his eyes comically wide. “So about your producing name… what was it? HEY YOORIM, WHAT DID YOU SAY HIS PRODUCING NAME WAS?!?” Yeonjun suddenly raised his voice and Beomgyu could see how the girl flinched. His soulmate was so embarrassing.

“Bamnam PD-nim” Aisha yelled back and he could see a glint of amusement in Yeonjun’s eyes. The fucker was having fun.

“So… Bamnam PD… How did that come about?”

Beomgyu could once again feel the blush on his cheeks.

“My brothers used to call me Bamgyu when we were younger and later in life when I met my best friend would tease me that I look like a chestnut since my hair is naturally brown and I had the single worst bowl cut on the planet. When I started playing in my former band it was what our lead singer would introduce me as to the crowd but he decided to shorten it for some reason, saying it sounded cooler, so it kind of just stuck when I started putting my music on soundlcoud and later when I started working at the company.” Beomgyu couldn’t help but smile at the fond memories. “How about you? You own a dance studio? What’s the story behind that?”

“That story is so adorable and I feel like it suits you a lot.” Yeonjun said directing an infatuated smile toward Beomgyu, “As for me there isn’t that much to it. Dancing is something I’ve always loved. My mom often says I could dance before I could walk… So I’ve always worked hard to achieve the dream of having a dance studio. When I got out of the dance academy I already had some fallowing on sns since I’ve won more than a few competitions either solo or in a group. A few years back I rented a small business space that I turned into a dancing studio, and a lot of people were interested in getting classes from me and soon there was so many people I had to go about hiring more instructors and choreographers, most of them went to the academy with me or were in the groups I danced with, getting more space; I started getting calls from various companies. Before I knew my small studio turned into the FoxInTheBox dance studio and academy.”

Beomgyu was looking at Yeonjun with stars in his eyes. His soulmate was truly someone amazing.

“That’s so inspiring, hyung; how you’ve made your dream into reality. I’m so proud of you.”

Yeonjun simply smiled, a light blush on is round cheeks and then Beomgyu felt a small tug on the string, followed by a hand holding his.

They kept talking for almost two hours, until Beomgyu decided he shouldn’t keep his bandmates waiting any longer and told Yeonjun he had to go. Of course they exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet again as soon as possible.

On his way to Jeongin’s house Beomgyu sent a text.

**_Soobin’s idiot soulmate_ **

Can’t believe you didn’t tell me who you were, it’s easier to help you if I have that information.

He’s been texting Soobin’s soulmate for the past week trying to figure out how to help him find him, all without either Beomgyu or Soobin’s soulmate revealing their identities. To say it’s been less than fruitful would be an understatement. But with him meeting Yeonjun it seemed like destiny really wasn’t playing around. He thought back on their conversation earlier.

“So have most of your friends found their soulmates or did you have company in your lonliness?” Yeonjun had asked.

“Some of my bandmates have but my best friend hasn’t yet, even though I urged him to try and find them.”

“So I take it he has a bond that helps him find them? That’s kinda dumb but then again I have a friend with an ink bond and he still doesn’t know who his soulmate is. He said they don’t want to meet… What kind of crap is that right?” Yeonjun had said and Beomgyu had to school his expression to not end up gaping like a fish. He only knew one idiot with an ink bond that didn’t want to meet his soulmate. His idiot.

“Say, hyung, your friend, they don’t happen to take any teaching classes?” Beomgyu dared to ask and Yeonjun narrowed his eyes seemingly already suspecting what conclusion Beomgyu came to.

“Acctually….”

Beomgyu really felt like the higher powers at work were laughing at the situation they brought upon him. He felt his phone vibrate.

**_Soobin’s idiot soulmate_ **

What the fuck Bam?

Did Beomgyu have enough energy or time to deal with this now? No, no he didn’t.

Nevermind, we’ll talk tomorrow

And with that last text he muted and locked his phone. He’ll deal with those idiots later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you don't know Bamnamu=chestnut
> 
> Also the ages are international.


	7. BUNNY Part 7: Soobin's Idiot Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After one of the best days in his life Beomgyu made a fatal mistake that could cost him his frinedship with Soobin.
> 
> tw// panic attack, very vaugely implied suicidal thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: My poor baby Soobinie, why does he have to suffer so much, I just wish for him to be happy with his soulmate
> 
> My brain: Aren't you the one constantly writing situations to make him suffer
> 
> Me: ....
> 
> The twist in this chapter came as unexpectedly to me as I'm sure it will to you. This story is officially out of my control, it's in gods' hands now I am but a messanger for them.

Soobin practically didn’t see Beomgyu for the next two days. He didn’t come back home at all on Tuesday, and Soobin only saw him coming home, half asleep, at seven in the morning on Wednesday when Soobin was getting ready to go to his early morning classes. He really didn’t want to act too clingy so he just let him go to sleep without any questions. When he came back home Beomgyu was no longer there and he didn’t come back before Soobin fell asleep.

It was Thursday now and Soobin’s only class of the day was cancelled. He woke up around eight and went to check if Beomgyu was home. He gently opened the door to Beomgyu’s room and saw the said boy sprawled across the bed, still in the clothes he probably wore the day before.

“Idiot…at least change your clothes…” Soobin muttered and closed the door being careful to make the click of the door as quiet as possible.

Soobin decided to be the best roommate ever and make pancakes so the other had something to eat and give him the energy. Even if Soobin did feel a bit abandoned the past two weeks he knew there was nothing he could do about the fact the other was just busy. He just wished he at least still texted him if he wouldn’t be coming home. It helped elevate some of Soobin’s worries.

As he was preparing the pancake batter, Soobin noticed Beomgyu’s phone on the counter. It lit up with a text from someone Beomgyu had saved as Soulmate.

Soobin’s suspicions have been true then. Beomgyu really met his soulmate on Monday. It has been Beomgyu’s dream to meet his soulmate ever since Soobin knew him so he should really be happy for him. And yet Soobin couldn’t help the pit of anxiety that opened in his stomach. He hated himself for that feeling. He should be happy for him and not be selfish. He shouldn’t care even if Beomgyu starts hanging out with him less because it would mean he would get to spend more time with the soulmate he always wanted. So what if he kicks him out of the apartment, Soobin never expected to live with Beomgyu forever, of course he would want to live with his soulmate. Any normal person would. He shouldn’t be making this about himself. He shouldn’t be selfish.

Soobin threw himself into making the pancakes with a mantra of ‘Be happy for him’ in his head but somehow felt the pit in his stomach grow even bigger and his heart beating faster. So he turned to the only other person he knew. Even if he didn’t know if he was going to get an answer, a flashback to a message from Monday that said the other wouldn’t talk to him unless it was during class. But Soobin didn’t have anyone else beside Beomgyu and his soulmate in his life and his soulmate was always there for him when Beomgyu wasn’t.

_Kitten I know what you said but can you please talk to me_

No response.

He couldn’t say that he was surprised. Usually when things started to go to shit for him it came all at once. He finished the pancakes just trying really hard not to think of anything. All the while he could hear Beomgyu’s phone vibrate with messages.

Soobin sat down and started eating his part of the pancakes. He thought about waiting for Beomgyu but he didn’t know when the younger would wake up and he was so tired from everything he hoped a little food would help him get into a slightly better mood.

Just as he finished the first one another flurry of vibrations shook Beomgyu’s phone and Soobin noticed there were actually two senders. The first one was Beomgyu’s soulmate but then Soobin saw the other one. He felt his stomach drop. It couldn’t be.

Without unlocking the phone he tapped the little bundle of messages and they expanded so he could see the ones that came in through the morning.

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : Bam hyung

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : Bam hyung!!

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : Can you please check on Bunny

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : Bam, please, I can feel his pulse is fast as fuck

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : He even messaged me, Bam he doesn’t do it that often

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : Ffs Bam

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : Nevermind

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : He feels a bit calmer now

 ** _Soobin’s idiot soulmate_** : You should still check on him tho

Soobin felt like throwing up.

The last few messages were from literally seconds ago. He felt lightheaded and even if most of his senses were paralyzed he knew his heart was beating too fast. His breathing was getting shallower. The sweet and heavy smell of pancakes in the air wasn’t helping at all.

There was another set of messages bombarding Beomgyu’s phone. Soobin called upon the last of his sanity to resist the urge to look at them. Not caring about the fact he was in old sweatpants that didn’t even reach to his ankles, a shirt covered with coffee and food stains, and not even wearing socks, he put on a pair of sneakers and his jacket, and after grabbing his keys he was out of the apartment.

He couldn’t stay in there for a second longer. He needed some fresh air and the cold to clear his head. He let his legs lead him, his head too big of a mess to focus on anything but a singular thought that started bouncing around his head. ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’

His legs led him to an abandoned park. During the warmer parts of the year everything was green and overgrown but now all you could see were the brown branches and the leaves covering the ground starting to rot. He went deeper inside, to a bench he and Beomgyu used to hang out on often. He sat down and took a big, deep breath and counted to ten before exhaling. He repeated the same thing a few more times, until he felt like he could think again.

“Let’s think about this rationally” Soobin learned that speaking his thoughts out loud often helped him deal with complicated feelings, “Beomgyu and Kitten know each other. That’s a fact. I don’t know how they know each other or for how long. For all I know they could’ve been friends for a long time and he just found out along the way he was my soulmate.” Soobin tried to reason with himself. But if that was the case wouldn’t Beomgyu have told him. There were hundreds of scenarios running in his head and a very few of them didn’t end up with him being hurt.

“I can’t do anything here, I need to talk to Beomgyu or I will just be guessing and making the situation worse.” He needed to give Beomgyu the benefit of the doubt. It wouldn’t be fair of him not to.

Soobin didn’t even know how long he’d been out. As he went to run his hand through his hair he noticed the writing on it. He didn’t even notice when it appeared.

_I’m here Bunny_

_Are you okay?_

_I can feel your heart beating fast is everything okay?_

_Bunny_

_Bunny please just tell me you’re okay_

_Bunny, you’re so cold are you out?_

_Please Bunny go someplace warm it’s so cold_

It was only then that he noticed his whole body shivering. Fuck it was cold. He didn’t even notice that the jacket he put on was a thin jean jacket.

‘I’m hurting him again’ Soobin hated himself. He still needed to figure out the whole situation with Beomgyu. He couldn’t deal with his soulmate just yet. He wanted to respond to him, just to let him know he was okay, but didn’t have anything to write with. So he went back to a method they sometimes used in these situations. He held his left wrist with his right hand and tapped his pinky against his skin three times. Their way of saying ‘I’m fine’.

Soobin got up to go back to the shared apartment. Part of him hoping that Beomgyu was still asleep so he could avoid their first interaction in the last few days to be an argument but the other part just wanted answers.

He entered the apartment, the smell of pancakes still lingering in the air. He probably wasn’t gone for too long. He could still see Beomgyu’s phone where he left it. So Beomgyu wasn’t awake yet. Soobin felt slightly relieved. But as he was taking his shoes off he saw Beomgyu’s sleepy form exit his room.

“Something smells great” Beomgyu muttered to himself and then he noticed Soobin standing at the door, “Oh, Soob, are you going out or did you just get back?” He asked looking slightly confused.

“Just got back…” Soobin said quietly, averting his gaze. He couldn’t help the anger he felt towards the younger slowly building up but he tried his best to not let it out. Before Beomgyu could start asking him more questions he said “I made pancakes.”

Beomgyu smiled wide “You’re the best, hyung.”

Soobin gave a half hearted smile and went to his room to put on a warm hoodie. When he came back to the kitchen Beomgyu was happily eating, he didn’t seem to have checked his phone. Soobin turned on the kettle to boil some water to make tea.

“You won’t eat Soob? Or have you already eaten?” Beomgyu asked.

“I’ve eaten.” Soobin answered quietly. He could see Beomgyu was starting to notice his mood so he scolded himself. “Congratulations on finding your soulmate, Gyu.” Soobin figures it was one way to bring it up.

Beomgyu looked caught off guard. “Umm… Thank you, hyung. Sorry for not telling you until now, you know I’ve been busy. How did you find out?” Beomgyu looked hesitant and apologetic.

“It wasn’t hard to figure it out when you rushed away on Monday,” Soobin said, only giving out half of the truth and Beomgyu smiled apologetically muttering an -I’m sorry about that- “besides,” Soobin continued hoping Beomgyu will take the hint, “you really shouldn’t leave you phone laying around anywhere when your soulmate seems so eager to talk to you.”

Beomgyu looked a little embarrassed as he took his phone to check the messages. Soobin saw how that look slowly morphed into panic when Beomgyu finally saw his notifications. He looked at Soobin with wide eyes asking hesitantly “Soobin, you didn’t…” he trailed off.

There it was. No going back now.

“I did.” He tried to scold his face to not show any emotions. He didn’t know how successful he was at that endeavor. At the same time there was a whole range of emotions flashing across Beomgyu’s face. Some other time Soobin would’ve found it funny. But right now it just furthered his fears and broke his heart just a little more. He could see him grasping for any kind of explanation.

“I don’t need excuses Beomgyu, I just need you to answer a few questions and to be honest because if you’re not I don’t think we will be able to remain friends.” Soobin said, feeling the coldness in his voice. He didn’t like it but it was better than pointless yelling.

“First of all, you don’t have to worry, I didn’t go through your phone, I only saw the messages in the notifications. He referred to me as Bunny, please confirm he doesn’t know who I am.”

Beomgyu looked completely lost. “He doesn’t, Soobin I wouldn’t-“

Soobin cut him off. “Second question, does he know who you are beside your relation to me?” 

“He doesn’t know my name but please Soobin listen-“

Soobin didn’t want to listen right now; he had to have his questions answered first. “Do you know who he is? Don’t tell me if you do.”

Beomgyu had seemingly given up.

“I do.”

The next two questions were the most important to Soobin and he feared he knew the answers already. He hoped Beomgyu would prove him wrong.

“Were you the one to contact him?”

Beomgyu averted his gaze in guilt. “I was.”

Soobin was holding his breath. “When?”

Soobin felt like his heart broke when Beomgyu looked like he didn’t want tell the truth.

“Recently…”

Soobin wasn’t sure which answer would’ve hurt more. If Beomgyu just said it was when he met his soulmate or the vague answer he got. He felt betrayed. He heard the water in the kettle boiling. He turned it off before heading to his room before his emotions boiled to the surface, when he was stopped by Beomgyu grabbing his wrist. His eyes were pleading with him.

“Soobin please, you know I’ve been telling you this for years, but I talked with my soulmate and we really think it would be best if you met yours. Your life would get so much better.” Soobin couldn’t listen to him and he had finally reached the point of snapping.

“You know, Beomgyu, if you wanted me out of your life so you could live happily with your soulmate you should’ve just said so.” He tasted the poison coating his words. He only wished his tears weren’t spilling, betraying his true feelings.

Beomgyu let go of him as if he was burned and tears welled up in his eyes.

“Hyung, you don’t really think that, right?” He asked, his voice broken by the sobs Soobin could hear were trapped in his chest.

“Maybe I do Gyu. I’m not thinking very clearly right now and I need to be left alone. Please understand, you betrayed me, Beomgyu. I need time to think. Don’t you have band practice or a soulmate to get to?”

Soobin felt so detached from the words he was saying, he knew he would regret them later but the control he had was slipping more and more and he just wanted to get away before he completely lost it.

Beomgyu’s face was wet now and Soobin could see him shaking. Soobin couldn’t bear to look at him like that so he escaped to his room. Beomgyu didn’t try to stop him.

Once he was in his room, Soobin’s legs gave out and he sank to the floor, his back to the door. The room was blurry. Soobin was getting really fucking tired of crying. His thoughts were in disarray and he felt like he was spiraling again. This time no excuses for Beomgyu formed in his head. All he felt was betrayal and anger; anger at Beomgyu for going behind his back, anger at his soulmate for going along with it, and most of all, anger at himself. If he wasn’t as much of a mess as he was none of this would have happened. Before he could think any further he was grounded by a feeling of a hand pressing on his chest. Only then did he notice the big writing on his hand.

_BREATHE_

Then he felt a hand on his cheek. If he closed his eyes he could imagine he was in the room with his soulmate. That he was being comforted like how his sister used to comfort him. But he wasn’t the person he wished to comfort him. He didn’t have anyone at the moment. He grabbed a small eyeliner he had laying on his night stand. He didn’t know what he was trying to do. He didn’t know why he was asking for an explanation when he refused Beomgyu’s earlier.

_When did he contact you?_

Soobin waited.

_Bunny wha_

The writing suddenly stopped. After a few seconds he felt it again.

_Bunny…_

_Don’t be angry please we just wante_

Soobin didn’t wait for him to finish

_I asked WHEN DID HE CONTACT YOU?_

After a few seconds there was an answer

_10 days ago_

Soobin was taken aback. Ten days ago? Beomgyu didn’t meet his soulmate until three days ago. Then why? Why did Beomgyu contact Soobin’s soulmate?

_Why?_

_He said he wanted to help me find you…_

Soobin was lost at that point

_Then why didn’t he?_

_He’s been trying_ _to_

_He said he doesn’t want to betray you with giving me any information but that he would try to help me in more subtle ways_

Soobin was getting angrier. So Beomgyu thought he would contact his soulmate and then what? Basically do nothing about it? Learn who he was so that he could dangle that information in front of Soobin in the future? What did Beomgyu think was too much information to give?

_So, what? You’ve been scheming behind my back for more than a week? To what end? Did you find out who I am?_

_No Bunny, I didn’t_

_Bunny we weren’t scheming I just_

_Then what WERE YOU DOING?? Please explain it to me? What was the point?_

Soobin was just so frustrated. He noticed how hard he was gripping the pencil in his hand, and how much his left arm hurt. He’s been pressing the pencil too hard.

‘SHIT, shit, shit, Soobin you idiot you’re hurting him again. I just keep hurting him again and again. This is why it’s better we never meet.’

Soobin was crying really hard. He always hurt those closest to him. That’s why everyone always left him. He was certain his soulmate would be no different.

_Bunny…_

Soobin felt so incredibly alone and worst of all it was his own fault. Here he had his wonderful soulmate who was always just so understanding to him and he was constantly rejecting him. He didn’t know how to respond to his soulmate anymore. A horrible thought entered his mind. The only way that could make all the pain stop. But it’s immediately followed by Beomgyu’s tear-stained face. By the coldness his soulmate would feel.

Soobin cried even harder.

He felt how his wrecked sobs reverberated through his room.

And then, like being covered by a warm blanket, he got enveloped in a hug. He shut his eyes, and then suddenly he got bombarded by a whole set of new feelings.

Every feeling on his skin intensified. The hug felt a lot warmer. He could both feel and hear soft breaths next to his ear. He also heard small sobs and even more so, felt them in his own chest. He felt a whole other heartbeat besides his own, one that was fast but still leagues slower than his own. And when he opened his eyes he wasn’t staring at his room. In front of him was a completely unfamiliar room and he couldn’t see much of it from the broad back and long, wavy, black hair, all a little blurry and covered slightly by his own brown fringe. Only, Soobin’s hair wasn’t brown.

He blinked.

And he was back in his own room.

He blinked again and the unfamiliar room was in front of him again.

When he blinked the third time he stayed in the unfamiliar room but he was also seeing his own room. It was like he was at two different places at the same time. He just had to focus on one for it to feel more real.

“Bunny” he heard a voice. But not in the usual way. He felt it coming through his throat, felt his lips moving even if he knew he didn’t move a muscle. It was like he had two bodies. The voice was strangely familiar but off just enough so that Soobin couldn’t connect it to anyone. “Bunny, can you hear me?”

“K-Kitten? What’s happening? How are you doing this?” Soobin swallowed his own tears, all of his previous thoughts slipping from his mind.

“That doesn’t matter right now Bunny, I needed you to listen to me.”

Soobin was absolutely stunned. But then some of his previous anger and hurt resurfaced.

“Why are you doing this? Is this another way you’ll try to find me?” But his tantrum was cut off by the other voice.

“Bunny, shut up, you’ll listen to me now because I don’t know how long this will last so save your arguing for later.” Soobin was silenced by the sharpness of those words. “First of all, I’m sorry I talked with your friend behind your back, it wasn’t right of me so I’m sorry. But you asked me why Bunny and I think that your friend just wants you to be happy. It’s as simple as that. From what I’ve gotten from him he has absolutely no ulterior motives. And as for me… Bunny…I just want to meet you. I want to learn your name. I want to know what you look like. I want to be able to talk in you in person. I want to touch you. There’s nothing more I wish for then for it to be you hugging me right now and I’ve simply grown so desperate.” Soobin felt the tears streaming down his soulmate’s face. He could feel how much his chest tightened. Or was it his own? It was getting harder do differentiate. “Bunny, please understand…I’ve waited all these years. I’ve tried to take it at your pace, to wait for you, but it’s getting harder and harder; especially when I feel like I both know you so much and not at all at the same time. Bunny…I just…I don’t know what to do…”

Soobin’s heart broke from hearing the pain in the other’s voice. Soobin felt so pahetic. Was it really all worth it? He gave out a defeated laugh.

“I guess everyone just wants me to stop being stubborn and just meet you…” Soobin felt completely dejected with the way his voice sounded so weak. “Fine. You win. We will talk after class on Monday. In person.”

Soobin felt happiness bubble in his chest. He very well knew it wasn’t his own. And then, as suddenly as it appeared, all the foreign feelings, along with the connection, disappeared. He was once again in his room with nothing remaining but the pieces of his broken heart and a huge pit of despair in his guts.

It was later in the day, when Soobin finally felt enough strength in his legs to get up, that he exited his room. He needed to talk to Beomgyu. He needed to hear his side of the story. And most of all he needed to apologize for his careless words. Soobin felt disgusted by himself for making Beomgyu feel bad for finding his own soulmate.

But of course it couldn’t be that easy. Beomgyu wasn’t home. Soobin found his phone and looked at the time. It was already past noon. Soobin had no idea where Beomgyu went so he had no other choice but to just wait for him. He made himself comfortable on the couch and closed his eyes trying not to think at all. Before he realized it sleep overtook him.

Soobin was woken up by the sound of the front doors being open. When he opened his eyes he noticed it was already dark. He had no idea what time it was. He heard Beomgyu shuffling around the front door and then the light was turned on. There was a small gasp from Beomgyu.

“H-hyung. You scared me. What are you doing here, just sitting in the dark?”

“I was sleeping…” Soobin said quietly, sleep still slightly clouding his mind.

“O-oh…” Beomgyu sounded hesitant. He headed for his room.

“Wait, Beomgyu.” Soobin found his voice and shook of the haze in his head. Beomgyu stopped and looked at Soobin, anxiety obvious in his eyes. “Can we talk.” Soobin said and then added “Please.” for good measure.

“Um… sure. Can I just..” His voice was weak as he gestured to his clothes. Soobin got what he meant.

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll be waiting here.”

Beomgyu disappeared into his room. Soobin felt nervous. What if Beomgyu didn’t forgive him? What if Soobin broke their friendship beyond repair? Soobin checked his phone. It was past seven. He slept through most of the day and he still felt tired.

Beomgyu came back soon, now dressed in more comfortable clothes. He sat on the other end of the couch. He looked at Soobin trying to gauge his reaction. Soobin was just so tired and as Beomgyu opened his mouth to say something Soobin laid down, back to Beomgyu, head in his lap. He could feel Beomgyu stiffen underneath him.

“Please relax, Gyu” He gently said.

A few minutes passed before Beomgyu did relax and, as so many times before, Beomgyu’s hand found itself cradling trough Soobin’s hair. Soobin finally felt brave enough to say something.

“I’m sorry Beomgyu.” He said and Beomgyu’s hand stopped moving.

“Wha-What? Soobin what do you have to be sorry for? If anything it should be me that’s apologizing to you.” Beomgyu sounded a bit panicked but confused above else. Soobin gave a weak laugh.

“Don’t get me wrong Gyu, what you did was really shitty but that doesn’t give me an excuse to say shit about your soulmate. I wanted to apologize for making you feel bad for finding them. I’m sorry for thinking you wanted to get rid of me. I’m sorry for always assuming the worst. Truthfully, I’m so happy for you, Gyu. I’m so happy you’ve finally found them.” Soobin could feel tears prickling at his eyes. How he still enough water in his system to waste it on tears was beyond him.

Suddenly he was being picked up and Beomgyu positioned them so that Soobin’s butt was next to Beomgyu and his legs were over Beomgyu’s. And then he got enveloped in a hug. He forgot just how strong Beomgyu was.

“Hyungie…” He heard Beomgyu say quietly, his whole body shaking with sobs. Only then did he realize Beomgyu was crying.

“Hey, Gyu, don’t cry…You’ll make hyung cry too.” He said with a sad smile.

“S-sorry, hyung…I’m so sorry hyung…I just want you to be happy. Hyung you’re such an amzing person…Your soulmate knows it too. I..I just wish you realize it to. You deserve to be happy too hyung. I swear he doesn’t know who you are, I would never betray you like that, but hyung, please…I know you’re scared but he would make you so happy. I just don’t want you to suffer anymore…” Beomgyu continued spilling apologies and pleads to Soobin through broken sobs.

Soobin didn’t know what to do so he just let him. And when his sobs were reduced to occasional sniff Soobin said “Gyu, I forgive you.” even if he felt like there wasn’t much to forgive and that it was obvious but he knew Beomgyu needed to hear it, otherwise he would just keep beating himself up over it. “You’re my best friend Beomgyu. I’m sorry that I forgot that in my own stupid panic.”

Beomgyu broke the hug and looked straight into Soobin’s eyes with his own puffy, red ones.

“I love you so much Soobin. You’re so much more to me than just a friend. I’m sorry I made you feel like that wasn’t the truth.” And he softly held Soobin’s head, slightly lowered it and then planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

This has happened before but only when they were both at their worst and when they barely made up. The weight of that day’s situation finally dawned on him. If his soulmate didn’t talk to him and if he just said one more wrong sentence when he was angry he could’ve lost his best friend. He didn’t know what to say.

And suddenly, the moment was ruined, when, like a wild beast, his stomach growled.

It suddenly dawned on Soobin he hasn’t eaten anything beside that one pancake in the morning for the entire day. It seemed that Beomgyu had the same realization

“Hyung? Did you not eat the whole day?”

Soobin felt his ears turning red as he just nodded.

“Let me order something okay?”

Before Soobin could argue he already took out his phone and ordered food for the both of them. Beomgyu got up and went to the sink, pouring two big glasses of water and then he came back to the couch and gave one to Soobin. “There, you need to rehydrate after crying.” He said with a smile.

And so Soobin did.

He thought about what happened with his soulmate. There was no way he wouldn’t share the experience with Beomgyu.

“I talked to him.” He started. Beomgyu gave him a look.

“Well, you better have. I hope you weren’t too rude, this was all my idea anyway…” Beomgyu trailed off. But Soobin didn’t really care about that right now. Since the thought reentered his brain there were only questions piling up.

“No, Beomgyu not that. I TALKED to him. Like, literal speaking.” Beomgyu looked at him funny.

“What? Like, did you give him your number so he called you or..” Beomgyu’s eyes were saucers, “Did you MEET?!?!”

“No, no, to both of those..” Soobin thought about how best to explain it to Beomgyu, “It’s like…like I was him… Like I was in his body. It was so weird Beomgyu. It’s like I was both him and me…like I had two bodies…I could feel everything he felt and not the usual kind but like times a hundred, I could see everything he saw, I could hear everything he heard.” He saw Beomgyu trying to grasp the information Soobin told him. He himself still had a hard time with making any semblance of sense out of it. “He was talking to me and I could hear him, but it was also like the voice was coming from me. It was so fucking freaky, Gyu.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up.” Beomgyu spoke looking straight at Soobin. “Let me process…” So Soobin did.

After a few minutes Beomgyu spoke up again. “Has this ever happened before?”

“Beomgyu, I assure you if it did, you would be the first to know.”

There was a small smile on his face. “Did you recognize the voice?”

“Almost…You know how they say that your own voice sounds completely different to you compared to the people around you…It was like that…It sounded familiar but there was just something so different about it I couldn’t place it anywhere.” Soobin tried answering in a way Beomgyu could understand.

Beomgyu looked as if he was contemplating saying something but the look was quickly gone and silence enveloped them.

“Anyway…” Soobin started and he heard a muttered “Can’t believe you’re going to ‘anyway’ this shit. Classic Soob.” coming from Beomgyu but then he smiled widely at what Soobin asked next.

“Tell me about your soulmate.”

And thus began almost two hours of Beomgyu describing just how amazing, funny, smart, beautiful, brilliant, out of this world, show stopping, spectacular and so on his soulmate was. This time Soobin allowed himself to truly be happy for Beomgyu as they both munched on the bibimbab.

The only reason he stopped was when he had gotten a message. Soobin had to stop himself from taking a peek. His worries were elevated when he heard Beomgyu said “Speak of the devil…” He looked hesitantly at Soobin.

“Go on, I’m kinda tired anyway, I think I’ll go wash up and then hit the sack.”

“If you say so, but just know that I’ll be off to work extra early and I won’t be coming home at all since the band wants to make the final preparations. I’ll send you the address and I expect you to be there.” Beomgyu said, a serious look behind his playful tone.

“Of course, Gyu.”

After that each of them retreated to their respective rooms. Soobin really was tired but he knew he wouldn’t be able to just fall asleep like that.

_Kitten, how did you do that thing?_

It took a few moments for him to answer.

_I’ll tell you about it on Monday, okay Bunny? It’s pretty complicated to just write it like this and even I’m not completely sure_

Soobin was reminded about what was going to happen on Monday. He was scared but maybe it would just be better.

_Okay_

_Are you feeling any better?_

Soobin honestly didn’t know. He could feel the anxieties crushing him from every side but he tried his best to ignore them.

_Yeah_

Maybe he should top lying to himself. But that was a problem for him to solve some other day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all,  
> Happy birthday to our Yeonjunnie
> 
> Second  
> since we're almost at the mid point I just wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone that's reading this and leaving kudos. I would also love to hear your thoughts so far,
> 
> Third,  
> This is all I've written so far, so I don't know if I'll be able to post every day but rest assured I'll try to maintain updates at two chapters a week at the very least.


	8. BUNNY Part 8: Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beomgyu - the person that furthers the plot  
> Soobin - still a nervous mess  
> Yeonjun - doesn't know when to shut up  
> Kai - best boi
> 
> Also if you don't know or don't listen to Day6 what are you doing with your life? ANd don't take just my word on it. Beomgyu himself confirmed that they don't have any bad songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> It's been a long time I know.  
> But I'm finally back in my own home, have both my computer and this chapter back and am ready to get back to writing.  
> Thank you for waiting and enjoy this chapter (:

Beomgyu slowly came to from a dream that was already slipping his mind. His phone read 5:25. In five minutes his phone would have blasted, but now he turned it off before it could and laid still in his bed for a few minutes before getting up. As he went through his morning routine he thought about the whole situation with Soobin. The thought that his soulmate managed to contact him and create some kind of special bond was something Beomgyu couldn’t quite grasp. He decided to shoot him a quick message. He felt a slight pull on his string. Yeonjun was checking if he was awake, so he pulled back. His phone dinged.

In the past four days his soulmate took it upon himself to send a good morning message every morning and to be the first person to talk to Beomgyu every day. Beomgyu found it incredibly sweet. Before he could respond his phone started vibrating. His soulmate would have to wait.

“Hello”

“ _You said to call when I woke up…Did something happen?_ ” The voice of Soobin’s soulmate spoke.

Beomgyu was a bit stunned; he didn’t expect him to be awake yet. “Not really, I just wanted to talk to you. Didn’t think you would be awake yet.” He heard a small ‘Thank god’ from the other side.

“So…we got found out Tae. What now?”

There were a few second of silence.

“ _He agreed to meet me._ ”

If a helicopter crashed through his window right at that moment, Beomgyu wouldn’t be as shocked as he was hearing that piece of information. “Come again?”

“ _He said we would meet on Monday._ ”

Beomgyu noticed how hesitantly he had said it. “You don’t sound too excited…What’s wrong? I thought this is what you wanted.”

There was a pause and then a sigh.

“ _I thought so too and yet… I feel like I’m pressuring him too much and I’m scared he will back out of it and I’ll just end up disappointed. I don’t know…I don’t want to get my hopes up.”_

Beomgyu thought about what he said. The possibility of Soobin backing out was very real. He had to find a way to ensure that Soobin would have to confront his soulmate. He shouldn’t go around saying stuff like that recklessly. Beomgyu made up his mind.

“Don’t worry, if he never got pressured in life he would end up never doing anything, it’s just how he functions and it’s a really big thing if he actually agreed himself. And besides, you have me on your side now. I’ll make sure he doesn’t back out. Say Hyun, do you have any plans for tonight?”

“ _Not particularly, why?_ ”

Beomgyu had to think of a way to not be too obvious. “Just asking…Yeonjun mentioned that he was going to a concert tonight so I was wondering if you were going with him.”

“ _He hasn’t mentioned anything to me._ ”

If he played his cards right he would get what he wants. Now he just had to talk to his soulmate.

“Hey, one more thing I was curious about.” Beomgyu said, “Your soulmate told me something really weird…That you did something. That you changed your bond somehow.”

Beomgyu heard a sharp inhale from his phone. “ _Ummm…_ ” the other started hesitantly, “ _I’m not sure how to explain exactly…I didn’t do anything. I had help. Maybe I’ll tell you about it someday._ ”

Beomgyu was really intrigued but decided to not push too much sensing the discomfort in the other’s voice. “Fine, keep your secrets then. And let me guess…The help was from your friend right?”

“ _Yeah…Anyway_ ,” and wow, Beomgyu couldn’t believe just how much Soobin and his soulmate were alike, “ _I have a class to get to. Talk to you later._ ”

“Okay. Bye Hyun.”

Now for the second part of his plan Beomgyu called Yeonjun.

“ _Hello love, took you long enough._ ” Beomgyu heard the teasing spark in Yeonjun’s voice but couldn’t deny the joy he felt because of the nickname.

“Good morning to you too, Junnie. Listen, I have a request for you.”

“ _I’m all ears love._ ” Yeonjun said in an overly sweet tone and Beomgyu was sure he would be the cause of his death.

“You know that friend of yours we talked about. The one with an ink bond.”

“ _Taehyunnie, yeah, what about him?_ ” There was a slight suspicion in Yeonjun’s voice.

“Could you get him to come to the concert tonight? Pretty please.”

There were a few moments of silence.

“ _He would probably want to bring Hyuka… Is that okay?_ ”

“Sure, the more the merrier. Also _,_ please leave out that I’ll be there.” Beomgyu chirped back hoping Yeonjun wouldn’t ask any other questions. Of course it was only wishful thinking.

“ _What are you planning Beommie? And even more important what do I get out of it?_ ”

Of course, Yeonjun was his soulmate; he wouldn’t do anything for free. “Nothing much. I’ll tell you tonight. And ummm…unlimited hugs from your soulmate.” He still tried,

“ _Hoho, there will be some tea spilled. And don’t I already have that?_ ” He said and Beomgyu could imagine the smug smirk on his face.

“Ahh…fine…Lunch tomorrow. My treat.” Even if they didn’t know each other for long Beomgyu already found out Yeonjun would never refuse a free meal. Another thing they had in common.

“ _My love knows me so well; it’s a date then…I’ll make sure Taehyunnie comes, don’t worry._ ”

“Thank you Junnie. You’re the best.”

“ _Of_ _course, love. Anything for you.”_

They talked for a few more minutes making plans for the whole day before they had to say goodbye to each other.

So that went better than expected. Now the only thing left for Beomgyu was to sneak into Soobin’s room and pick out an outfit for him. He couldn’t allow him to come in the classic Soobin look, jeans and an old oversized sweater. Thankfully, Soobin was a heavy sleeper and Beomgyu already had an outfit in mind so he was in and out of Soobin’s room in less than five minutes.

He packed his outfit in a duffle bag along with a few more things and went to work, needing to start earlier so he could get off earlier to finish the preparations with his band.

His whole body was buzzing with excitement.

Soobin woke up around ten, his two classes of the day beginning at noon. When he opened his eyes the scene in front of him was unfamiliar. It was a classroom. It lasted for a fraction of a second before he blinked and was back in his own room. Weird. It was probably a remnant of a dream.

As he was getting ready for the day he noticed a hanger on his closet door with a sticky note attached to clothing Soobin honestly forgot he owned.

**If I don’t see you wearing this at the concert it’ll be on sight Soob**

**don’t test me :)**

**XO Gyu**

**P.S. put some makeup on ;)**

Soobin laughed. Typical Beomgyu. Soobin didn’t see any problem with the clothes he usually wears but he’ll let Beomgyu have this one. Besides, Beomgyu has gotten much stronger recently and Soobin really didn’t want to do anything that would give him a reason to turn Soobin into his punching bag.

His Friday proceeded as usual. He exchanged a few messages with his soulmate as he usual did, not talking about anything in particular, just about their days. Only recently did he realize just how much his soulmate became a fundamental part of his life, almost as much as Beomgyu was. It got to the point where they would talk to each other every day, last two weeks being an exception. And those two weeks were like being trapped in an isolation cell, especially with Beomgyu being practically gone for one of them. And Soobin really didn’t think he could bare either of them leaving him. So, what if his soulmate took one look at him and decided to leave. What if Beomgyu decided to completely devote himself to his soulmate and leave Soobin? Soobin knew his life would be lost without them. It was better to have his soulmate just through their skin than not to have him at all and Soobin feared he would lose him forever if they met. And the thing that scared him even more were the random flashbacks to yesterday when he was in his soulmate’s body. He felt it all over again. It was surreal and he hated the feeling of wanting more. After only one time he already could never have enough and if it happened even one more time he would beg his soulmate to come to him and never leave. It was too dangerous. And now Soobin agreed to meet him. He didn’t even know why. He has just had enough of all the misery he was bringing to both himself and to the most important people in his life. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t absolutely terrified of what was going to happen. But despite the huge monster that was his fear, trying to consume him, there was a sliver of excitement. So Soobin was trying to force a positive mindset. Maybe everything will turn out alright.

When he finally came home he had about two hours to get ready for the concert. He put on an alarm clock and took a forty five minute nap. After washing up he finally took a look at the outfit Beomgyu chose for him. There was a thin, oversized, olive button up Soobin actually remembers wearing and black, leather pants that Beomgyu bought for himself but ended up giving to Soobin, or at least he said so because who accidentally buys two sizes bigger. He would be fine with the two, maybe a bit uncomfortable in the leather pants but the biggest shocker came in the form of a black belt with a thigh harness. It must’ve been Beomgyu’s because Soobin doesn’t remember ever owning anything remotely similar to that.

When he managed to figure out how to put on the harness and his whole outfit was on him even he had to admit it looked good. The flowy shirt was surprisingly comfortable and not too revealing but the center point was, unsurprisingly the pants. They hugged his long legs in all the right places and the very high waistline accentuated his naturally thin waist. The stupid harness actually worked perfectly in drawing attention to his slim and firm thighs. All in all, Soobin felt his confidence rise from its usual zero so maybe he should thank Beomgyu.

Soobin applied the little makeup he had doing a subtle smoky eye that Beomgyu thought him to do. He even dared to put a little glitter on his lower lashline. Then he styled his hair, doing a middle part that showed off a bit of his forehead. The bright purple it was when he died it a month ago was washed out to an almost gray color. Maybe it was time for a change. For the final touch he put in his earrings.

Soobin looked himself over in the full length mirror. This definitely wasn’t the first time he had gotten dressed up for a night out, but to say it happened often would be a straight out lie. Nevertheless, seeing himself in the form fitting clothes and makeup always managed to surprise Soobin. He didn’t consider himself to be good looking, maybe average at best, despite Beomgyu always trying to boost his confidence by saying he could easily be a model. But it also never bothered Soobin that much so he didn’t really try to make himself any prettier with clothes or makeup and such. Still, seeing at least a peek of what Beomgyu claimed he saw was nice. Maybe he should dress up for Monday.

Soobin put on his long black coat and exited the apartment. Earlier, he looked at the address Beomgyu had sent him and after seeing it was a half an hour walk away decided he would just walk instead of taking a bus. It had gotten colder in the past few weeks but Soobin was dressed warm enough and the weather was clear and Soobin was always more willing to walk to wherever he had to be. It helped him keep in shape without having to exercise that much.

When he was near, he texted Beomgyu he would come soon so it was of no surprise that the younger was waiting for him at the entrance.

“Took you long enough. Come on we’re about to get started, you can leave the coat in the back with my stuff.” Soobin didn’t even manage to say hi before he was being pulled to the back door by Beomgyu.

Once inside he saw the rest of the band. There were the two vocalists Jeongin and Jaeyun with the former doubling as a second guitar; the Son twins, one on keyboards and the other on drums and the bassist Wonjin. He knew all of them in various degrees with the ones he was the closest to actually calling friends being Jaeyun and Wonjin. All of them were obviously going for a dark concept but Beomgyu stood out even among them. The black button up with a leather vest on top would’ve been enough but Beomgyu just had to top it off with black lipstick and it was probably the hottest Soobin had seen him.

“Wait here for a bit” he said before Soobin saw him leave the room.

The first to notice him was Jaeyun as a smile overtook his face, “Soobinnie! I haven’t seen you in ages! How have you been?” and with that there was a shift in attention as a chorus of hellos echoed through the room and Wonjin came to Soobin and Jaeyun and they talked for a little. After a few minutes of talking he felt like he was getting warmer so he took off his coat and a whistle was heard from Wonjin. “Damn I almost forgot how fucking hot you are Soob. You could’ve spared some of those long legs for us mortals”, to which Jaeyun responded with a pout.

“Speak for yourself Won, I like being average. No joint pains.” And then he stuck his tongue out. “But in all seriousness you do look smoking hot tonight Soobin.”

“Yes, please, keep admiring my artwork.” There was a new voice and Soobin saw that Beomgyu had returned.

“Oh please, like you did anything besides picking out the outfit. You could’ve at least thought me how to put this-“ he gestured to the harness around his thigh, “-stupid thing on. It took me forever. “ Soobin said with a teasing tone and Beomgyu made an audible gasp,

“How dare you?! If it wasn’t for me you would be wearing your old sweatpants right now.”

Soobin chuckled. “True but I could be wearing a trash bag for all it matters with you looking like that. If you stand next to me no one would even think to approach me. Good thing you found your soulmate. You’re the artwork here.”

He loved seeing how Beomgyu’s pale cheeks slowly reddened as he slapped him on the arm. Then he raised his voice.

“You all are hearing this right? Soobin here has mad game. If only he found his soulmate instead of staying a single pringle for his whole life. Such a loss.”

Now Soobin was the one sporting a blush as the other guys laughed,

“Anyway, everything’s ready and we should get this party started. Let’s go!” Beomgyu raised his voice once again and everyone sprung up on their feet and followed him out. Soobin did too.

When he got out to the main area he was surprised by the sheer amount of people that occupied the space. It seemed like everyone in the band invited their circle of friends and that everyone was apparently pretty popular. It didn’t leave Soobin with the best feeling in the world but then again it was to be expected. Big crowds weren’t really Soobin’s thing.

Trying to silence the little voice in his head that told him to run, Soobin focused on the design of the place. It resembled an old American diner, with big, leather booths lining the walls except the one where the floor was raised and acting as a stage. He saw the band getting on the stage and Jaeyun was giving a welcoming speech. He looked around the bar and noticed a few familiar faces. There was the couple form his methodology class, a few of Beomgyu’s other friends and just a few more people he sometimes passes by on the campus.

Soon the concert started. There were a few hits on the drum and Soobin recognized it to be the intro to Best Part. As the chorus approached Soobin let himself get swept by the music and he let all of his worries go.

About six songs later Jaeyun announced a quick break. Before Soobin knew it, Beomgyu appeared next to him. He grabbed his hand and came closer to Soobin so he could hear him. “Come, I want you to meet someone.” and Soobin had no other choice but to follow him. They went to the second floor of the café where the music was a lot quieter. Beomgyu led them towards a booth with three people sitting in it. As they came closer, Soobin couldn’t help noticing the unmistakable electric blue hair he remembers seeing just a few days prior. And even more surprising were the two faces sitting with the blue haired fox. It was Huening Kai and his TA which he almost didn’t recognize. Gone was the brown hair, now replaced with messy blond strands. Soobin always thought that the TA was an objectively good looking man but seeing him in the plaid shirt underneath which was a tight, white turtleneck that ended just at his midriff making way for the beautiful golden skin of his toned stomach made him see the other in a completely different light. Soobin had to forcefully avert his eyes to not look like a complete creep. He barely registered Beomgyu speaking.

“Soobin, I would like you to meet Choi Yeonjun, my soulmate. Yeonjunnie, this is my best friend, Choi Soobin.” Beomgyu gestured to the blue haired man who looked at Soobin with a smile.

“Nice to finally meet you.” Yeonjun said.

“Likewise Yeonjun-ssi” Soobin answered and he saw a little pout on the other’s face.

“Please, hyung is enough.” He said, while pouting and Soobin couldn’t help but to think how lucky Beomgyu had gotten to have such an adorable soulmate. “And Beomie, these are my brother Huening Kai and his best friend Kang Taehyun.” Of course, Soobin knew them already but was surprised to see a glint of familiarity in the exchanged look between his TA and Beomgyu. But then the TA spoke and contradicted Soobin’s observation.

“Nice to meet you Beomgyu-ssi.”

Beomgyu’s little smirk didn’t escape Soobin. “Don’t even try, ssi is too awkward, just hyung is okay.” And that surprised Soobin because even if the TA looked young he never would have guessed he was younger than Beomgyu. His confusion must’ve been evident since Kai let out a small giggle in his direction.

“I can understand your confusion hyung, but Taehyunnie here actually skipped a grade in high school and then took advanced classes in collage and graduated a year early. This is actually his first year as a TA but I think he mentioned that during the first class. We’re both ’02 liners.” He put a hand around Taehyun, looking like a proud mother.

Soobin dared a look at the blond and saw him already looking at him with wide eyes and a slight blush on his cheeks. When their eyes met the blond suddenly averted his gaze and instead playfully hit Kai. “Yah, I’m still both your hyung and your TA don’t treat me like I’m your child.”

To which Kai just laughed louder. “Please, you’re so cute it’s almost like you are.” And before Taehyun could land another, stronger punch on Kai’s shoulder Yeonjun diverted his attention from the conversation he had with Beomgyu and raised his voice.

“God, I can’t take you two anywhere, you’re both children so now please stop embarrassing yourselves in front of my soulmate.”

At that both of them shut up and Taehyun muttered a “sorry, hyung” and Soobin heard a giggle form Beomgyu. After that introduction the conversation flowed nicely, mostly led by Beomgyu and Kai, the two of them hitting it off surprisingly well. Already knowing Beomgyu and by proxy Yeonjun, Soobin mostly focused on Kai, about whom he barely knew anything. Now that he thought about it, Kai was on the top of his potential soulmate list but sitting across him, listening to him and watching how cheerful he was Soobin just couldn’t quite get the that feel from him. He found out Kai was actually doing a music major with just a minor in pedagogy, hoping he could one day be a music instructor, which, in theory, was right up Soobin’s alley for someone who could be his soulmate but still… There was just something off about it. So he focused on the person right across from him. He never really thought about his TA, Kang Taehyun. The word that would describe him the best would be stoic. Never showing much of himself but still managing to keep the classes he held interesting and engaging and even when he was relegated to the peacekeeping duty while the professor held the classes, just his presence was enough to make everyone pay attention to the class. He wasn’t exactly intimidating but he just gave off the aura of authority and intelligence that he seemed just the slightest bit unapproachable. That’s one of the biggest reasons Soobin thought he was older, and, possibly, his only flaw.

But here, in a casual setting, all dressed up, it was like a complete shift. He was still on the quieter side but he gave off a warm vibe, especially when he smiled and how had Soobin never noticed just how pretty his teeth were. And that was another thing. He was hot as all hell, Soobin honestly wanted to hit himself in the head for never noticing it. And it wasn’t just about his outfit. Soobin doubts he ever saw him with his bangs moved away from his forehead but his now blond hair was sideways parted and it gave Soobin the complete visibility of his whole face and Soobin was left speechless. Soobin tried not to focus too much on the shiny, plump, pink lips that were probably as soft as they looked. He noticed the other had two earrings, one on each ear, same as him. One was a small star and the other was dangly, with a long black feather almost touching his shoulders. He dared another look at him but the big, bright, chocolate eyes were already staring at him. He wanted to avert his eyes, but was that star-shaped glitter on his cheekbones…

“Soobin” He heard Beomgyu say and he finally averted his eyes from the TA and noticed another three pairs of eyes on him. The flush already started climbing up his neck.

“Umm… could you repeat that?” Soobin could swear he saw Beomgyu, and surprisingly Kai, smirk before he repeated.

“I said, my fifteen minutes are up and I have to go back down. We start in five minutes just so you know.” Beomgyu said to him but then diverted his attention to everyone present at the table, “If I don’t see your assess down there I’ll…. Just be there.” And that he left.

Soobin hoped the conversation would keep going not including him but alas, fate really wasn’t on his side. Yeonjun turned to him probably not wanting to exclude his soulmate’s best friend. How nice of him. “So, Soobin, how come you’re in the same year as Kai? If you don’t mind me asking.” was a question he didn’t expect as he thought he was more likely to ask something Beomgyu-related.

“Ah, umm… I actually enlisted right after high school…” Soobin wasn’t too fond of talking about that time of his life but he didn’t really see a point in not telling them. When he looked up he saw Taehyun looking at him with wide eyes while Yeonjun just let out a loud “Wow”.

“I never would’ve guessed, no offense but you don’t really seem like the type.” It seemed Beomgyu shared his bluntness with his soulmate. Soobin couldn’t help but snort fondly. “So I’ve been told. Let’s just say I was kinda directionless when I finished high school so I thought, since I’ll have to do it eventually, why not.”

He got an approving nod from Yeonjun and then Kai spoke up “So what are you studying?”

“Pedagogy major with a minor in psychology.”

Kai’s smiled. “Haha, so reverse Taehyunnie.” and Soobin looked at his TA again who just nodded affirmatively with a fond expression.

“It’s funny how you don’t have many questions for me, Soobinnie, but I guess Gyu already told you all there is to know about the great _Choi Yeonjun_ …” Yeonjun said laying the top of his body on the table lazily and Soobin couldn’t help a laugh escaping him and nodding , “Pretty much, yeah… He usually tells me everything.” Soobin finally started to feel more comfortable but that feeling was shattered by the next thing he said, “well, I can’t say the same but he did mention you haven’t met your soulmate, did the connection not reveal itself yet?”

Here’s the thing. Soobin knew Yeonjun was only making conversation and talking about soulmates really wasn’t that big of a deal or uncommon. Except for Soobin. And it was as if Yeonjun was trying to hit the trigger Soobin’s anxiety trifecta, all he had to do was mention his parents and he would do it. And Soobin did notice just how much his pulse picked up. Not wanting to cause even more distress for his soulmate who could very well be Kai sitting on the other side of the table but still… He quickly tapped his left wrist with a middle finger, four taps, pause between two and three. _Don’t worry, social interactions got me stressed_. A very specific code, yes, but Soobin found it used very often form his side and sometimes from the other.

“Yeah…” was all he could muster. He tried a subtle glance at Kai, but he didn’t get much from his face. He knew he was bad at lying but if they noticed, nobody said anything. But then he felt a hand grab his. It was Yeonjun who looked him straight in the eyes with the most compassionate expression Soobin ever saw in anyone’s eyes. “Don’t worry, you’ll find them. Besides you’re not alone. Taehyunnie hasn’t met his yet too. And Kai doesn’t even have a soulmate.”

At that Soobin felt both a bit relived, but also did Yeonjun say Kai didn’t have a soulmate? How could that be possible? Soobin asked as much.

“Yeah, I just don’t.” Was all Kai said.

“What do you mean? Maybe your bond still hasn’t been reveled?”

“That’s because I’m a seer. I see other’s bonds.”

Soobin could feel his blood freeze in his veins. He has heard of seers. He and Beomgyu even went to one during a festival but they were exceptionally rare. The rumors said all of them had some pretty tragic backstories. But most of all, it meant Kai knew he was lying. He saw it. Their abilities were shrouded in mysteries but from what Soobin knew they could see the type of bond, whether it has manifested yet, in what situation it will if it hasn’t yet… And there was a wild rumor they could even manipulate bonds.

Before he could respond in any way he heard Taehyun speaking, “It sounds like they are about to start. Let’s head downstairs.”

And so they did and Soobin couldn’t be more thankful. Still, his mind was heavy. Kai knew he was lying but didn’t say anything. Not only that but they shared the class he shared with his soulmate, meaning Kai knew who his soulmate was. To say Soobin was stressed would be a huge understatement. He needed a drink.

They found a place near a wall and a bit closer to the stage and then Soobin, not wanting to seem rude, said, “I’m going to get a drink. Does anybody want anything?”

Yeonjun said he was good and Taehyun just shook his head but Soobin’s biggest problem came in the form of Kai’s wide smile. “Sure, let me come with.” and Soobin being as non confrontational as he was couldn’t bring himself to say no.

And so he found himself being dragged along by Kai not towards the bar but to the other side of the stage where the entrance to the staff room was. He was completely fucked. They entered the staff room, the sound of the band playing getting muffled and the air a bit fresher and chillier. Soobin saw Kai take out a key out of his pocket and locking the door. Well, that didn’t help Soobin’s anxiety at all.

To at least try to alleviate the tension in the room Soobin spoke “Where did you get the key from?” to which Kai turned to look at him and then laughed. Like the psycho he obviously was.

“Out of all the questions you could ask, that is your main concern? Gotta give it to you, hyung, your brain really works in a different way.” Soobin felt like he should be offended but the teasing glint in Kai’s eyes told him it wasn’t ill-intentioned. “Sit down hyung.” he added.

So Soobin did. On a three person couch that was neatly tucked away in a corner and soon Kai joined him, a warm smile gracing his features.

“So…” He started seemingly a bit lost for words.

“So…?” Soobin repeated.

There was a tiny haha coming from Kai at that. “So… I know what your bond is.” He stated and Soobin just nodded. “I’m not your soulmate if that wasn’t obvious.” he continued, “And I know who your soulmate is.” And there it was. Soobin more or less saw this coming from the moment Kai offered to get the drinks with him. They stared at each other for a long second before Soobin spoke up.

“Are you going to tell me who he is?” The biggest fear he had. Yes, maybe he was more or less trying to figure out who he was these past few weeks but the information still frightened him. And, yes, he promised they would meet on Monday. But Monday was two days away and he had time to prepare. What he wasn’t prepared for at all, was a somewhat unrelated person for who he, until very recently, thought was his soulmate, bombarding him with that information. He noticed a considering look in Kai’s eyes.

“Do you want me to?” Soobin both heard and saw that Kai was being careful but he couldn’t muster more than a weak “Not really” and it will probably come any second now. The judging looks, the anger, the disgust and maybe even outright hate. He already felt on the brink of tears with the fear of being hated by one more person. Not wanting to find your soulmate in their world was equivalent to both a murder and a suicide. You were condemning not only yourself but also your soulmate to a life of loneliness and sadness. Even if a person was surrounded by people and had a lot of friends nothing would ever compare to the joy and fulfillment of being with their other half. And purposely taking that away could almost be considered a crime. People would tell him he was mentally ill. But they were right. He was.

So you could imagine Soobin’s surprise when instead of shouting and cursing he found himself enveloped in a tight hug. He dared a look and saw the back of fluffy hair and broad shoulders leaned on him and the other’s body warmth was spread to him. It felt almost like déjà-vu. And Soobin couldn’t even try to hold his tears back anymore. There wasn’t any gasping for air or body-shaking sobs coming from him. Just the wetness on his cheeks, a trail the silent tears left.

“Don’t worry hyung. It’s okay. I wouldn’t have told you even if you asked.” That was something that shocked Soobin. Kai let go of him but kept his hands on Soobin’s.

“Really?”

“Really.” He said with a smile. Then he raised one hand to wipe away Soobin’s tears. “Listen, hyung, I doubt anyone’s ever told you this but despite what our society thinks, it is perfectly okay not to rush out into the world seeking your soulmate. All of it is way too glorified. And not only not actively trying to find them; but even not wanting to at all is unimaginably normal. Let me tell you something as a seer, everything has its time and place. We are all toys in destiny’s hands and the moment it decides to pick us up to play with us cannot be changed no matter how much we try or want to. You are made for your soulmate only in the moment when both of you are ready, mentally, physically, in whatever way and only then will you meet. So don’t put pressure on yourself and don’t let society put it on either. You will meet when you’re meant to, simple as that. Neither of you will be able to avoid it and neither of you will be able to make it come quicker. So just relax and focus on yourself okay? On your own happiness. Even if the world doesn’t understand, your soulmate will. He was made for it.” And with no room for argument Soobin was once again in Kai’s arms. This one lasted a lot longer and once Kai let go, Soobin felt like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders and not because Kai was heavy.

“Wanna get back out there?” Kai got up and offered Soobin his hand which Soobin gladly took. They walked out, quickly getting a drink each and finding Yeonjun and Taehyun chatting where they left them.

“What took you so long?” Yeonjun asked too which Kai responded with “There was a line” which was a very obvious lie since it was an open bar but Kai said it with such nonchalance as if he didn’t care about being caught lying and neither Yeonjun nor Taehyun said anything so Soobin, too, rolled with it.

The rest of the night was spend in conversation and laughter, Beomgyu joining them occasionally and Soobin not failing to embarrass him with childhood stories which, of course, was his duty as Beomgyu’s best friend, and Kai didn’t spare Yeonjun either. Soobin couldn’t remember the last time he had so much fun with so little alcohol in his blood stream.

When he finally got home, at around three in the morning, and laid in his bed, for the first time in a very, very long time Soobin felt like everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I'm sorry you've had to wait for so long and I hope you liked this one
> 
> Considering updates I'll try to keep them at once a week specifically on Monday evenings (consider I ive in Europe) :))
> 
> Have a nice day/ night and see you next Monday ;)


	9. BUNNY Part 9: Hello Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin finally meets his soulmate for the first time.....?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen here folks,  
> The Eventual Smut tag has been standing up there since the beggining okay?  
> So I am not about to apologize for the mature content but I will change the rating  
> And I would just tell you to skip it but it's not plotless so there's that...
> 
> Anyways enjoy this angst fest (:
> 
> tw//explicit sexual content

The golden rays of an otherwise cold morning pierced his eyes, waking Soobin up. As he checked his phone Soobin wondered how come he woke up so early, especially after the long time he spent out the night before. If left to his own devices Soobin would usually wake up at around ten or eleven, even later after a night out. The biggest factor in all of this were the night terrors he experienced almost regularly causing him to not sleep well during the night, usually only falling into a dreamless sleep at around six in the morning. But the screen of his phone flashed 6:43 and even with only three and a half hours of sleep he felt rested and couldn’t remember any unpleasant dreams.

Soobin took that as a sign to be productive for the day. After washing up he gave himself the task of cleaning up the apartment. He let himself loose with the music since Beomgyu obviously didn’t go home with him last night. What surprised him was how quick he was done. Before he knew it the place was neat and only two hours had passed. Granted, Beomgyu was barely home from their last big cleanup so there wasn’t much of his mess and after the disaster that was their first year of leaving alone together they concocted a pretty efficient plan of keeping the place relatively clean. It actually helped Soobin to form those kinds of habits in his life to ground him when he was feeling down so he had been keeping it up pretty well. Keeping all of that in mind it actually wasn’t that big of a surprise the apartment was spotless that quick.

Deciding to keep his productive energy going Soobin set himself up for doing some assignments and working on his masters thesis. Alas, schoolwork was always the biggest energy drainer in Soobin’s life and after a few hours the letters on his screen started blurring together so, for all the productiveness, Soobin decided to reward himself with a break. He noticed the lack of messages from his soulmate so he shot him a quick _You okay_? and left it there. He set up his laptop on his bedside table and curled up on the bed playing some new drama Beomgyu recently recommended him.

He was in the middle of an episode when he suddenly started to feel real hot. He thought that the heater in his room might be broken so he opted for turning it off. When that didn’t help he opened the window even thought winter was fast approaching. Still he felt hot. It wasn’t long before he noticed where all the “heat” was going to and if they weren’t already, his cheeks would’ve flushed. Knowing no amount of cool air would help him, he closed the window and turned the heater on again.

It was uncommon for people to have multiple forms of connections. Soobin was just one of the unlucky few that did. He still vividly remembers the summer school class he took the summer before his last year of high school. Back then he blamed the heat for making him feel hot but very soon he learned the real reason for the blush that settled deep in his body. After all, the sensation of being stroked and fingers prodding at his hole was unmistakable. The thing is, making love was reserved for soulmates but fucking just to get rid of the hormones? It wasn’t really that unusual, especially if a person had to wait a long time before meeting their soulmate. They were only human after all. So Soobin didn’t blame his soulmate for doing what must’ve been a bodily necessity and he just sat there trying to not show just how much it affected him. He couldn’t stop himself from cumming in his pants and as soon as the class was over he hurried to the toilet to try to clean himself up as best as he could. Years later he found out the other didn’t actually have sex but was just pleasuring himself. Maybe it would’ve brought Soobin some kind of relief if it wasn’t for the fact he knew the other lost his virginity and had some pretty heated sex more than a few times, evidenced by the bruises Soobin had found on his neck after such occurrences. But did Soobin even have the right to be bothered by it? In Soobin’s opinion he didn’t. How could he blame his soulmate when he gave him complete radio silence for the two years he was enlisted? He couldn’t and yet the knot forming in Soobin’s stomach wouldn’t go away. Even now as he felt the tightness in his pants it was present. They were going to meet on Monday, right? So Soobin really hoped his soulmate wasn’t in the arms of another man. He unpaused the drama he was watching and tried to not focus on his body, particularly on his lower parts. Thankfully nothing indicated that his soulmate had company.

It wasn’t long before he saw a message on his hand.

_Sorry Bunny…I just woke up…I’m going to go take a cold shower to get rid of it don’t worry._

So it was a wet dream. Soobin wondered who was the one touching his soulmate in his dreams. But more importantly he didn’t want him to feel bad about it.

_Kitten...it’s okay…I know you haven’t in a while….so feel free….I’m alone and have nowhere to be so it won’t bother me_

_You sure?_

_Yeah, if you want_

_Okay_

Soobin took off both his boxers and his pants knowing there would be a mess and not wanting to suffer in his tight boxers. He wasn’t really experienced in sex. Neither in the real thing nor the self pleasuring part. Yes, he did jerk off back before the sexual connection with his soulmate manifested but even then he didn’t do it too often, fearing being caught by his parents, and after it did he completely gave up on it. The fear of inconveniencing or making his soulmate uncomfortable was enough to get rid of any of the “impure” thoughts. He would sometimes sneak a few tugs if he could while his soulmate was doing his business but that was about it.

The first few tugs were pure torture for Soobin but when his soulmate seemed to have settled into a steady rhythm all of those years of abstinence must’ve reached their limit. Because Soobin felt the haze in his brain settle as he grasped at the last few bits of his sanity that were slipping away from him. There was only one thought in his head. He wanted to make both his soulmate and himself feel better.

In a bout of confidence unlike any Soobin ever experienced he steadily wrote the message.

_Kitten…Do you want any help?_

The touch stopped and for a moment Soobin feared he freaked his soulmate out, that he was disgusted by Soobin. Until a message appeared.

_Please…Bunny…_

And Soobin might’ve lost his mind. His thoughts flashed to the unopened box underneath his bed. A prank gift from Beomgyu sometime last year. ‘Maybe you wouldn’t be such a stuck up if you actually stuck something up your ass every once in a while.’ He had said with a wink and sticking his tongue out at him. It was after one of their fights. Soobin just sat there with the cursed box, the tips of his ears red. He couldn’t be more grateful currently.

He went to grab it, finally opening it after the initial viewing of the contents. There was a bottle of lube and a decently sized flesh colored dildo. Maybe he should thank his soulmate’s previous partners for letting him know what exactly felt good to his soulmate and by proxy to himself. He opened the bottle and squeezed out some lube, flinching at how cold it was before warming it up with his fingers. An obviously shakily written message appeared.

_What are you doing_

Soobin couldn’t answer him since his writing hand was covered in lube. He’ll find out in a few seconds anyway.

He positioned himself so he had better access to his ass. He had never actually done anything remotely similar to himself but he knew the feeling well enough to give him confidence he could do it. He slowly circled his hole with his finger making it covered in lube and then he inserted a finger.

A string of moans left his lips but something was strange. His voice could never be that high-pitched. Suddenly everything felt twice as intense as he slipped his finger in and out and even more moans were heard. His eyes suddenly opened and he was back in the unfamiliar room. The same one from the last time. His soulmate’s room. He stopped with his movement for a second and he both heard and felt a high pitched whine. “Bunny…” fuck Soobin felt like he could cum just from the voice.

“Kitten… W-what is happening?” His voice was shaking.

“I don’t know Bunny but please…don’t stop…” and how could Soobin resist him when he begged so prettily. He continued pushing his finger in and out and soon he added another slowly starting to scissor himself, then a third finger was added. All the while the high-pitched moans of his soulmate created the most beautiful melody Soobin could imagine. The string of broken “Bunny”s and “don’t stop”s and “faster”s almost sent Soobin over the edge.

When he deemed himself spread enough he took the toy and generously spread lube over it. He positioned it at his entrance and slowly pushed it in. It burnt, he wasn’t going to lie and he took some time to adjust. Soobin imagined it would’ve taken him much longer if his soulmate wasn’t continuously stroking himself, sending waves of pleasure through Soobin’s body. He pushed it in to the hilt, bottoming out and gave himself a few seconds to adjust.

“You okay Bunny?” The loving voice of his soulmate surfaced. “It could be too much for the first time.” Way to hold it over his head.

“Don’t you worry your head about it Kitten.” He grumbled stubbornly and then started to move the toy. Soon the pain was fading away leaving behind only pleasure. Soobin got into a steady pace not quite believing how good it felt.

“Ah…fuck Bunny…” There was a high pitched moan coming from his soulmate, “How…ahh…how are you so good at this?” The broken words spilled from his lips.

“You gave me enough experience Kitten.” Soobin answered trying not to let the bitterness sip into his words, instead he picked up the pace.

Soobin could feel the smirk forming on his soulmate’s lips. “I bet you were jealous. I bet that every single time you wished it was you fucking me.” And honestly who could blame Soobin for the slight anger he felt at that moment. So instead of answering he angled the toy differently and when the guttural moan left his own lips he knew it had the desired effect and fuck, he never knew it would feel that good first-hand. He continued pounding the toy into his prostate, his own loud moans mixing in his ears with the high pitched ones of his soulmate.

“Right there…ahhh…Bunny….fuck….right there…ahhhh” Soobin could feel the tight knot in his stomach forming, finally the good kind.

“Shit….ahh…Kitten…I’m so close…fuckk…” And then his soulmate, being insane and all of that, pumped himself a few times and Soobin was spilling cum like never before.

“Ahhh…… Kitten…”

“Soobinie”

Soobin closed his eyes as the waves of pleasure washed over him. When he opened them again he was back in his own room, feeling only himself. And as he came down from the high the crushing realization of what just happened hit him accompanied by guilt and regret. He couldn’t even begin to grasp what happened in his head to make him do it. With much shame he cleaned himself and the mess that was his bed up, all the while one word repeating in his head. Maybe if it was a normal situation he could pretend he misheard.

But he couldn’t because not only did he hear it, he felt it. It was still stuck in his throat and on his lips.

Soobinie.

It was unmistakable.

His soulmate knew who he was.

When Beomgyu came home later that day Soobin asked “You didn’t reveal it right?”

Beomgyu still taking off his shoes looked at him questioningly “What?”

“My name. You didn’t reveal it to him right?” Soobin really hoped he didn’t.

“No, no I didn’t tell it to him. Why do you ask?” There was something akin to fear in Beomgyu’s eyes. Maybe he was still afraid of Soobin not forgiving him. That just left Kai as an option. But considering everything he told Soobin that night, he highly doubted he would tell his soulmate. Maybe he just figured it out on his own. Soobin let out a heavy sigh.

“It’s nothing, just making sure.”

One thing Beomgyu learned about Soobin after everything they’ve been through is that when Soobin said it was nothing, it was, more often than not, something. But he didn’t want to push further.

Nevertheless Beomgyu had a bad feeling about it.

As if that’s night’s rain had washed Soobin of all of his feelings, when he woke up on the gloomy Monday morning there was only one way he could describe how he was feeling. Numb. Needless to say, he spent a good part of Saturday and the whole of Sunday analyzing and over thinking. His eyes were red and the bags under his eyes were a dark purple. In the last three days he had slept a combined six hours. So for obvious reason Soobin was a walking corpse. Both the mental and physical exhaustion left him a mere husk of what he usually was. Every movement was slower, his vision was blurry and the sounds around him were muffled. It was as if he was drowning. In a way, he was. To say he regretted what happened on Saturday would be a huge understatement. Soobin loathed himself for it. Sunday was spent thinking about Hueningkai’s words. He poured over and over whether he was ready to meet his soulmate and the conclusion he arrived at every single time was a resounding no.

Nevertheless here he was, sitting in the cursed classroom, having almost no recollection of how he got there. He didn’t even realize when he put on the concealer to hide his eyebags, nor when he put on the bright red sweater, half-tucked in his pants. Who was he even trying to impress? He knew the answer to that question of course, but he didn’t have the energy to think about it.

Surprisingly, once he came, Kai sat next to him instead of his usual spot in the front row. And Taehyun sat a row behind them, to keep watch of the class or whatever. Was this how it was going to be from now on? Were they supposed to be friends? Soobin wasn’t sure and he was a bit scared to find out. Even if they were Yeonjun’s friends, that didn’t mean they would need to be his. If you asked Soobin he always kind of expected that once Beomgyu found his soulmate he would move on from him. His train of thought was interrupted by Kai.

“Hi, Soobinnie-hyung. How are you? I really like your sweater.” He commented and looked at Soobin with expectant eyes. And Soobin? He wanted to yell at him to get lost. He wanted to tell everyone to just leave him alone. They all would eventually, so why even try. What was even the point? But Soobin was tired. So instead he just answered. “I’m fine.” He was just so tired and numb to everything and he couldn’t be more thankful when the professor entered and started teaching because that meant he didn’t have to force any further interactions with Kai.

Soobin could feel his soulmate writing throughout the whole class but checking could once again throw him in that pit of despair he spent the whole weekend in and he much preferred being emotionally numb, even if it didn’t feel so great. It was as if he had completely rotten from the inside, he was just a pile of meat and bones walking around, no sign of life anywhere.

When the break rolled around he was nudged by Kai who seemed more than a little worried. “Is everything okay?” Maybe Soobin should’ve acted more cheerful but honestly, screw that. Why should he act happy for other people? Kai wasn’t even his friend.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Soobin tried to smile, he really did but it was in vain. He felt his face contorting into a grimace, his appearance showcasing what was lying just beneath the surface. “Sorry, I just need to use the toilet.” And with that he got up and headed outside of the classroom. There was a speck of fear he would be intercepted by his soulmate but, thankfully, that didn’t happen. At least Kai couldn’t try to uncover the rot on the inside.

When he got back, a minute before the break was over he noticed Kai and Taehyun in discussion, but as soon as he came closer their conversation stopped. Soobin didn’t have a good feeling about that. When he sat down he heard Taehyun speaking. “Soobin-ssi, can you stay behind after class, there was something in your assignment I would like to discuss.” Soobin almost forgot that Taehyun was also his TA. There was an assignment he handed in on Sunday while he was trying to get his mind off of the whole I-indirectly-fucked-my-soulmate situation. Did he miss something? Was something he wrote wrong? He quickly went over it in his head but couldn’t pinpoint where the problem was. He’ll just have to wait and see. He nodded and said a soft “Okay.” before the professor continued where she left off.

The class was over before Soobin knew it. Taehyun already went down to talk to the professor about something and Soobin took his time collecting his stuff. Kai left, shooting him a quick “Good luck!” Soobin didn’t know what it was about. He grabbed his coat and, as the classroom was slowly getting emptier, headed to the teacher’s desk where Taehyun was. At least this could prolong meeting his soulmate who was probably waiting on the other side of the door.

Taehyun closed the classroom door and looked at something on the computer. “I’m sorry if there’s something majorly wrong, I was really stressed when I did it so if I failed to catch a mistake or left something out I can redo it and send it by the end of the day.” Soobin couldn’t stop himself from making excuses. He wasn’t even sure if knowing Taehyun more personally made him feel better or worse about the whole situation. Probably worse. His deafening thoughts were broken by Taehyun’s sweet voice.

“Don’t worry Soobin-ssi, your assignment was actually perfect.” That put a stop to Soobin’s reeling brain, and it stayed deadly silent as Taehyun walked around the table and stood in front of Soobin whose back was to the table. “What I’m more concerned about is why exactly you were so stressed during the weekend. I mean it’s not that hard to guess but everything seemed fine on Saturday. And then you gave me complete radio silence on Sunday and even today. I half expected you not to show up.” Taehyun spoke softly, all the while not breaking eye-contact.

“W-what?” Was all Soobin could stutter out, like a complete idiot. Somewhere in the back of his mind the answer blared like it was on a speakerphone. Trying to distract himself from those big eyes he looked down and noticed what looked like a permanent marker in Taehyun’s left hand. Even more alarm bells started ringing. But all of them were soon silenced, replaced by the sound of blood rushing in his ears and his impossibly loud heart.

“Soobinnie…” Taehyun said softly; a small, pleading sound. And then he took Soobin’s hand. And Soobin… Soobin’s heart almost stopped from overworking. He knew it immediately, all of his seconds-prior doubts confirmed. It wasn’t like he felt sparks flying. It was much more as if a volcano erupted somewhere deep within him and the hot lava that flowed out melded their skin together. How could he have been so stupid? The facts were laughing in his face. It was all so obvious if he just thought about it slightly.

But that was the thing. Soobin couldn’t think. It was too much. It wasn’t nearly enough. There was a whole onslaught of emotions and wants rising as a dusty cloud after the eruption. First and foremost he wanted to drag Taehyun as close as he could and kiss him senseless, find out if his lips were as soft as they looked. He wanted to hug him tightly and never let him go. A dark desire overtook his mind and told him to strip Taehyun of every single piece of clothing and have him then and there, to touch and feel every inch of his body. But even louder than those wants, were the scarier ones. About how it would feel to just lie next to him, wake up to that beautiful face every morning. How it would feel to lie awake at night talking about anything and everything while gazing at the stars above, how those stars would be reflected in those big, dark eyes of his. A need to have him by his side, every moment of every day. To know someone would always be there for him, as long as he was alive. For the first time ever Soobin felt like he could be complete. Like Taehyun could make him feel complete. And something that finally broke every single piece of Soobin. A need to be that same someone for Taehyun. Because he knew he couldn’t. He could never, in a million years, be that someone for him. And Taehyun deserved so, so much better. All of those sudden feelings left Soobin, who spent the whole morning in complete numbness because he was already too tired of everything going on in his head that every emotion shut down, in shambles.

Soobin could barely feel the tear that left his eye when Taehyun leaned forward and pressed the marker just above his right collarbone right where his neck met his shoulders. When he was done and moved away, Soobin was met with wide eyes that showed so much. He could guess Taehyun was feeling much of what went through Soobin’s head too. But above it all was a look of expectation. It practically said ‘And what now?’ As Soobin lowered his gaze to where he knew he would find black ink on the same spot where his own skin was marked.

Two words, written in a neat, small handwriting.

The same two words that started all of this.

**_Hello Bunny_ **


	10. KITTEN Part 1: The Cuts On My Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyun's side of the story starts now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> the next few chapters will be retelling the first few chapters this time from Taehyun's (and Kai's(and maybe Yeonjun's?)) perspective so if you need a reminder of what happened form the start I recommend going back or reading both sides parallely(is that a word? haha)
> 
> Anyway enojy (:
> 
> tw// implied self-harm

Kang Taehyun didn’t cry easily. In the teenage and adult life Kai couldn’t remember a time a physical pain was so much he couldn’t hold back his tears, the few times he did cry being caused by emotional pain. Even with knowing that fact Kai could understand how one could mistake Taehyun’s tears at that moment for being caused by the big cut on his inner thigh, sitting right next to a few old scars.

Kai had been woken up by a loud yelp coming from his roommate’s room. He wasn’t really a heavy sleeper. Through his open door he saw the door across his open and a distressed looking Taehyun stormed out, heading into the bathroom. Of course Kai followed, already having a good guess of what happened. Currently he was sitting on the bathroom floor, a sobbing Taehyun sitting between his legs, back leaned to Kai’s chest, while he wrapped a bandage around the disinfected cut. When he finished he wrapped his arms tightly around Taehyun. He softly ran his hands through the other’s locks. “Shhh…. It’s gonna be okay…You’re gonna be okay…” Kai whispered into Taehyun’s ear and gently rocked his body until he calmed down a bit.

“Kai…I just…I don’t know what to do….Why does he keep on doing this to himself? I thought he had gotten better… I just wish I could help him…I wish he would let me…..I feel so powerless….”

Kai’s heart broke at the sound of Taehyun’s broken voice. Even if he was there with him three out of the four times this had happened it has never gotten easier. Especially considering he saw both sides. One’s body shaking from desperation and the other’s from helplessness and the pity for the first one. And it definitely didn’t help that he had been seeing Soobin in person on a regular basis. It nailed home that he was real. Honestly, when the older walked into Taehyun’s class for the first time back when the semester first started, Kai felt like the universe had played one big prank on all of them. He had finally clearly seen the person he had been seeing in his best friend for years. Back then he felt sick to his stomach but the only thing he could do was hope fate would decide to put them all together after all this time. Because, as a seer, he wasn’t supposed to meddle. Not too much anyway.

“You want him to let you help him, right, Hyunnie? Tell him that. God knows he needs to hear it.” In the end only the two of them could help each other. And Kai didn’t miss all of the small sorrys that steadily appeared all over Taehyun’s left arm. He handed Taehyun a small eyeliner pencil and watched as the other wrote on his right arm.

 _It’s okay Bunny…don’t beat yourself over it okay?_ _I’m here for you if you need to talk_

Taehyun raised his eyes to him. Kai noticed a few leftover tears pooled at the corners. “What if he shuts me out again Kai? I can’t deal with another two years or even more of radio silence, not knowing how he is.” At least this time Kai knew where to find Soobin. But he couldn’t say that to Taehyun.

“Just keep it there, okay? He won’t do that again, but he’ll probably need a few days. Whatever made him lose control after so long probably affected him a lot, so give him time. And make sure he knows you’re not going anywhere and that he always has you. Just like you have me, right? I’m always here for you Hyun. If you need to talk about anything know I’m always here for you.” He dropped a small kiss on Taehyun’s forehead and he hugged him tightly. Yes, maybe he wasn’t allowed to meddle between the soulmates but that wouldn’t stop him from being there for either of them or giving small pieces of advice here and there.

But still even Kai was drained by all of that. He just hoped they could finally resolve all these years of suffering by the end of the year.

Denial was a strange thing. You could be presented with nothing but straight facts but if you simply didn’t want to believe something there was nothing anybody could do to convince you otherwise. Being a psychology major Taehyun knew that. He also knew it was just a defense mechanism because in those kinds of situations, more often than not, denial was the better alternative to the person than the truth. It still didn’t make him immune to it. So when he was presented with the fact his soulmate just so coincidentally had a class with the same name as the one Taehyun taught, he tried reasoning with himself that it was just a coincidence. After all his university wasn’t the only one with such a class in Korea, not even the only one in Seoul. So what if the test was on the same day? It could just be a coincidence. The truth it implied, if it wasn’t, was something very hard to stomach for Taehyun. It would mean his soulmate was right under his nose for the last two months. It means he could’ve done something. Done what? He didn’t know but he could have. Maybe they would have already been together if he knew. It also meant Kai knew and decided not to tell him. Of course Taehyun knew why but the irrational part of his brain couldn’t help but to resent him just the tiniest bit. He also knew he should give his soulmate time, it was a thought that kept him in check every time he had the urge to just write out his name and address and beg his soulmate to come to him. But in the end he would only end up as a desperate fool. This way only he knew how much he actually was just that. That’s why he so desperately needed it to be nothing more but a coincidence.

In the end there was no denying just how cruel fate was. Not when he was sitting at the desk in the silent classroom and the questions he himself wrote just a few days prior, appeared on his left hand. There was no way he could deny that, yes, he was in the same goddamn room as his soulmate. He cast a glance at Kai, who was the image of innocence with his relaxed face and the way he was perfectly focused on solving his test. Taehyun made sure he understood the class and so he was sure Kai would nail it. At least he wouldn’t pile on the worry of a bad grade once he confronted him about this.

He still needed to keep his promise to his soulmate so he wrote all the remaining answers. He hoped his soulmate would get the clue. Then he focused. His soulmate’s heart was beating fast. He was nervous. Understandable, considering the situation. But there were probably more people nervous about the test so that didn’t give him much. He thought about what he knew about his soulmate. First of all he was older than him. By a year or two, Taehyun couldn’t be sure. That eliminated a big part of the class. There were only six older guys in the class. A red hair called Jongho. He was out since he was left handed and Taehyun’s soulmate was a basic right handed bitch. The other one that couldn’t fit his soulmate was Hwang Hyunjin, the campus beauty, and it was on the account of his long platinum hair. Taehyun could feel his soulmate’s hair was shorter than that. The remaining four were good enough candidates.

He then focused on the skin. His soulmate was wearing a thick, long-sleeved top, but there was also a short sleeved t-shirt underneath, so probably a hoodie. Bomin was in a thin sweater so he was out. That left three people. Taehyun also noticed his soulmate wasn’t wearing any accessories. That eliminated Haechan and his shiny silver bracelet and Jisung with three of his ten fingers sporting rings of various sizes. Only Sanha was left. Was it him? Taehyun didn’t really know his students any more than some of their basic information and what he could observe. For now he couldn’t do anything more to confirm his suspicion, unless he wanted to just outright expose his soulmate. He didn’t think that would be helpful for making his soulmate any more willing to meet him. After a while there were students getting up and leaving.

Taehyun noticed one of the students being a bit slower in getting to him. He seemed to be stuck in his head as he slowly descended to Taehyun’s desk. And then he looked at the face.

Ah…he forgot about him. Another member of the older squad. Choi Soobin.

Someone who always kept to himself and focused on the class. He sat at the back and made himself virtually invisible, it wasn’t a wonder Taehyun forgot about him. He quickly checked through the list of what could give away his soulmate. Surprisingly, he passed every point, the only exception being that Taehyun didn’t know whether he was right or left handed. He would have to pay closer attention next time.

So there he was. Two suspects. Both pretty unassuming and of similar build. Did Taehyun have the biggest urge to rip open their test envelopes and check the answers and handwriting? Yes, yes he did. But it would be the same as leaving a visible mark on his soulmate. It would be him actively searching. And he promised his soulmate he wouldn’t do that and, if nothing else, Kang Taehyun was always true to his words.

When the class was over both him and Kai had time to kill before their next schedule. They went for lunch in the campus cafeteria. The time was mostly spent with Kai going over the test making sure he got most of the answers right, which he did. Taehyun was proud of him and glad to know those few late night study sessions were actually useful. But even if he tried to, he couldn’t get his mind off of the whole soulmate situation. He was constantly on the verge of interrogating Kai. But Taehyun was a reasonable person, mostly guided by logic, so he decided he could wait until they got home.

He continued his day trying to forget about it but it was hard to do when he couldn’t help but to wait for any kind of message from his soulmate. The only thing he could think off that could possibly help him was burying himself in work. And so he did just that. So much so that by the time he got off he had done the work for the next week and had left hours after everyone else already did.

As soon as he opened their shared apartment door he was met with a handful of Kai. Taehyun will never, even after so many years already passed, get used to the feeling of what used to be his small friend towering over him so much and practically drowning in his arms. Even if it was strange Taehyun couldn’t help but to like it. He heard the rumble from Kai’s chest. “Hyunie, I was just about to call. What took you so long? I was worried.” Taehyun didn’t even have to look up to know there was a cute pout forming on his face. And, as much as he wanted to just go to bed and cuddle with the oversized boy, his mind couldn’t rest.

“I got too caught up in work, sorry for making you worry.” He answered more out of obligation than anything. Of course, his tone couldn’t go unnoticed by Kai. He let him go and carefully looked at him-

“Hyunie…are you angry at me? Did I do something wrong?” Curse Kai and his inexplicable ability to read any person like an open book. It was almost supernatural and Taehyun often wondered if it had anything to do with his seer abilities. And Taehyun honestly felt like it would be the best if the earth just opened up and swallowed him so he didn’t have to deal with any of it.

“Sorry, I know I have no right to but I just can’t help it. Why couldn’t you just tell me that at least?” There was a shadow of confusion crossing Kai’s face but taking one look at Taehyun it turned into comprehension. Kai always was incredibly perceptive. Both guilt and pity pooled in his chocolate eyes. He guided them both to the couch and took Taehyun’s hand in his.

“You know why, Hyunie. We talked about it so many times. I’m not supposed to meddle.” And Taehyun knew it. God, he knew it but he felt the fire in him rise nonetheless. Still, he tried to contain himself. Nothing good would come out of voicing his frustrations so he decided to stay quiet. Kai, unfortunately, didn’t. “Besides, you shouldn’t disrespect your soulmate’s wishes. It’s not meant to be until you both want it.” And there was something in that statement that simply triggered Taehyun. It was something about how his soulmate basically didn’t want him and how Taehyun was just supposed to be cool with it. Respect his wishes, Kai had said but what about Taehyun’s wishes. Until when should he put himself second? Why didn’t he have someone who would put him first? Even his supposedly best friend wouldn’t take his side. Taehyun just felt so alone and angry at the moment. It was like hot and sticky lava was flowing thorough his veins. He couldn’t think rationally anymore.

“So you always say Kai. That it isn’t meant to be yet. That I’m not wanted.”

“I didn’t say you were unwanted-“ Kai tried to calm Taehyun down but there was no soothing the fire that was consuming Taehyun from the inside.

“You know, Kai, to me it looks like you’re the only one standing between my soulmate and me. If I had another best friend who knew who my soulmate was I bet you they’d tell me right away. What kind of a best friend would keep something like that as a secret? It almost seems you care more about my soulmate than me, but I think there’s something else, isn’t it?” The look in Kai’s eyes was starting to mimic Taehyun’s. Fire. He was daring Taehyun to say it. And, unfortunately, Taehyun was rarely one to back down from a challenge. “It would seem you’re purposely keeping us apart, wouldn’t it, Kai? It’s almost like you prefer to have me all to yourself. Maybe it has something to do with that massive crush you’ve had on me since middle school?” Taehyun knew it was an extremely low blow. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. But as soon as they did he was suddenly pushed back into the couch with Kai pushing him from atop him. He was straddling Taehyun’s lap, locking him in place with the additional firm hold on both of his hands with just one of his own. Taehyun tried to struggle out of the hold but it was futile. Curse Kai for his towering height and the way he had gotten stronger in the last few years. With his free hand Kai held Taehyun’s chin and kept his head up as he brought his face a breath away from Taehyun’s. Taehyun couldn’t do much else except hold his breath. Kai’s voice was low and dark as he spoke.

“Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to kiss you right now? Do you know how easy it would be to force myself on you? Now listen, as easy as it would be for me to force myself physically on you right now it would still be so much easier to force myself on you emotionally. I just have to tell you one name. One word. And you would be off to try to force your own love on your soulmate who is in no state to receive it right now. Do you know what would happen then? Your bond would break. And who would you go to, to try and heal your heartbreak? Who else but your best friend who has been with you through it all and who has loved you since forever and will continue to love you for as long as he’s alive? It would be so fucking easy to have you all for myself Taehyun, you don’t even understand. And I hate myself for thinking about that scenario even once but here you are forcing the fucking thought in my head again. Yes, Taehyun, I love you. It’s not some stupid school-crush. I love you so incredibly much. But as much as I love you it could never even compare to the amount of love you would get from your soulmate. It is precisely because of how fucking much I love you that I want you to be happy. To get to experience that type of love only your soulmate can give you. How could I say I love you if I, with my own two hands, took that opportunity away from you? How could I push you into his arms while he can barely stop himself from hurting himself? How could I do that to either of you? You would be miserable for your whole life and he would probably kill himself. All because I was selfish and couldn’t keep my nose out of where it doesn’t belong. I could never do that; to you, to him, to myself.” When Kai was done with his rant he moved away, but remained on Taehyun while he stayed pressed into the couch.

Everything was getting to be too much for Taehyun and the firm, yet caring look Kai was giving him was enough to send him over the edge. As the first of many tears tumbled down his cheek he pulled Kai so that he practically fell on him and hugged him as tight as possible. He couldn’t stop the sobs that shook his body. “I’m so sorry Kai. I’m sorry that I’m such a jerk, I shouldn’t have said that. I love you too. So, so much, I’m just sorry it can’t be in the same way as you do me. I’m so sorry for lashing out at you. It’s just…getting too much. But that still doesn’t excuse me for what I said. I’m sorry Kai.”

He knew he shouldn’t have said what he did. He had no right. When Kai has nothing but good intentions and love for him but somehow that knowledge got too clouded in his mind. It was out of character for him. Maybe he wasn’t as over the weekend’s events as he thought he was.

Kai kept holding him until his eyes dried out and then some more. When he finally let him go he kept one hand on his cheek and slowly spoke, looking at him with incredibly gentle eyes. “Hey, Hyun, don’t beat yourself up over it, I understand how you feel, and don’t worry, I forgive you. How could I not? And maybe I overreacted a bit but I need you to understand, Hyun, to me it’s never your soulmate or you. I want you both to be happy because if one isn’t the other won’t be either. We both know it. I don’t want you to cry anymore. I don’t want him to cry anymore. It’s as simple as that.”

Taehyun covered Kai’s hand with his own. He looked at his eyes and could see nothing but endless expanses of love the other held for him. It’s a really funny thing, he thought, how humans can show so much just with their eyes, how they could lay their soul bare. He couldn’t believe just how lucky he was to have someone like Kai in his life. The way he thanked the stars went beyond words, so instead he tried to convey everything unsaid between them with reciprocating the look in Kai’s eyes.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Kai got up and offered his hand to Taehyun. “It’s late Hyun and you have early classes tomorrow and I also have to be at the academy early in the morning so we should go to sleep. Try and rest a bit, you’ll feel better and clearer in the morning.”

Taehyun took Kai’s hand and got up but before the younger could go to his room he enveloped him in another hug. “Thank you Kai” he hoped he managed to convey the galaxy of feelings he held for the younger. Judging by the small sniffle and Kai’s fond smile when he let him go he did.

They went to their respective rooms and after getting ready for bed, Taehyun was sitting on his bed fiddling with the almost completely used up eyeliner pencil. He knew, despite Kai’s whishes, he wouldn’t be able to rest properly tonight. And he definitely needed to hear from his soulmate. He just didn’t know how to start. He remembered the promise his soulmate made earlier and since he still hadn’t contacted him Taehyun decided it was as good as any conversation starter. It seemed that luck was on his side since his soulmate answered almost immediately.

Taehyun never expected he would actually get an explanation to what happened since his soulmate never really did that before. Once he was finished Taehyun couldn’t stop his tears. God, why was the word so cruel? How much undeserved suffering did his soulmate go through? And why? How could his own mother hate him so much? What exactly happened to his soulmate that made him feel like physical pain was a better alternative? He hoped that one day he will find out so he can make the ugly ghosts of his soulmate’s past disappear forever.

There was nothing more Taehyun wanted than to be next to his soulmate, protect him from all the evils of the world; protect him from both the monsters on the outside and the ones within that wanted to tear him down. To hug him and show him that he was loved. He settled for writing some of those thoughts.

After he did he was surprised when the answer to his question of would his soulmate run away if they met wasn’t a resounding yes. If his soulmate had doubts that meant there was at least some hope.

Taehyun ended the conversation there but his mind wouldn’t stop grasping at that tiny straw of hope his soulmate’s answer gave him. He was lying in bed thinking about all the possibilities that hope had opened. And so, when he made his mind up, to both let his soulmate know and assure himself in his decision he wrote

_Bunny…_

_I decided…._

_I’m going to find you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....  
> I left the last chapter on a cliffhanger but I planned it like this from the start.  
> There was the option of writing both perspectives at the same time but I wanted to at least keep some suspense and mystery regarding Soobin's soulmate around so I decided to do it like this
> 
> But before we move to the climax of the story (which is yet to come) I needed to show you Taehyun's perspective, his character and the way he thinks so yeah.....  
> Hope you won't hate me too much for this haha....
> 
> See you next Monday


	11. KITTEN Part 2: One Person Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some taejunkai(?) dynamics
> 
> also Kai is everyone's personal huggie and emotional support boi
> 
> can you blame them tho
> 
> I would also hug Kai if I could

The rest of the week passed with Taehyun opting to give his soulmate as much space as he needed. He checked up on him here and there just to see how he was doing and how the rest of his midterms went. Hi soulmate’s answers seemed unusually restricted and curt like he was too scared of giving any clue about his identity to Taehyun. Welp…Taehyun didn’t have any choice but to wait ‘till Monday. He still didn’t have any kind of a plan but after much thinking he decided to just wing it. He was always good improvising.

Or not…

Here was the problem.

Taehyun did tell his soulmate he would make an active effort at finding him yes. But for some reason the simplest solution, making a small mark somewhere on his face, made Taehyun feel uncomfortable. It was as if something was stopping him from doing it. So he settled on just trying to get some kind of a reaction out of him but of course his soulmate wouldn’t be that easy to fool. He probably didn’t even look at the scribbled messages. It was only after class and once everyone was out of the classroom that he got any kind of a response.

He would have been offended if he wasn’t endlessly endeared by his soulmate. That was until he read the last message.

_It’s like the TA was quoting your answers when he went over the answers._

A sudden feeling of both dread and disappointment filled his whole being. If only he knew… But also what if he found out? Would he stop showing up to class to try and avoid him? Would he really abandon his studies just so Taehyun wouldn’t find out who he is? That was the last thing Taehyun wanted.

The rest of his working hours passed by uneventfully and when he came back home he wasn’t surprised to see that Yeonjun came for a visit. He did have his own key to Taehyun and Kai’s apartment and Taehyun knew just how much Yeonjun hated the loneliness of his own apartment so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to have him hanging around almost every evening.

“Yo, Hyun, what’s up” Yeonjun was the first to notice him and as he did Kai’s head shot up from where he was playing a game on his phone, half draped over the couch.

Taehyun braced himself from the hug he was sure to be enveloped in any second now and as sure as the fact that the sky is blue, Kai’s long arms wrapped around Taehyun. It was simply his oversized puppy’s way of welcoming him home every day.

“Hi Hyunie.” Kai muttered against his neck and Taehyun couldn’t help the small smile forming.

“I’m home Hyuka”

Once the taller detached himself from him he took off his shoes and coat and went to join them in the living room. He saw Yeonjun sitting at their dining table, a laptop perched right in front of him and a bunch of papers spread on the wooden surface. Taehyun approached him and peered at what he was doing. All he saw was a bunch of timetables. So it was work related.

“Yo, hyung. Same old mostly. What are you doing?” He saw the stressed out glint in Yeonjun’s eyes but despite it he smiled.

“We got signed up by a record label for an upcoming group so now I have to go over everyone’s schedules for the next few months, see who I’ll take with me and rearrange the previously planned activities and make sure none of the choreographers and dancers die from overworking. So you know. I’m just busy.” Yeonjun said barely lifting his eyes from the laptop screen. Taehyun couldn’t not notice the dark circles under his eyes. There was a reason he decided to work form their place instead the comfort of his own, much cozier, home. Taehyun understood the way that Yeonjun had to be surrounded by people when he was too stressed. He always said the background noise of other people calmed him down and so he could work better.

“Don’t forget to include yourself in that list of people who shouldn’t die of overwork hyung. You still have to meet your soulmate.” Taehyun patted Yeonjun’s shoulder and he could see the tips of his ears turning red. He always got shy when anyone expressed any kind of worry over him.

Yeonjun nervously scratched his neck “Yeah… well… you know me Tae… If anyone’s going to die from overworking it would be me. I can’t help it. I just need to have anything under control and besides my work fulfills me.” He has always been like that, as far back as Taehyun could remember. He always had this mature and serious approach to anything he did. Then he turned around and looked at Taehyun with a big smile. “And, actually, I think I’m going to meet my soulmate very soon.”

Taehyun couldn’t help but snicker. As mature as Yeonjun could be, the childlike innocence and excitement with which he awaited his soulmate was another thing that never changed. Taehyun almost envied him, but he was willing to admit his own world view was tainted by the painful experience with his soulmate. He just hoped Yeonjun’s soulmate wouldn’t shatter the happy smile Yeonjun always had on his face when he spoke about the prospect of finding them. “You’ve been saying the same thing for the past eighteen years”

Yeonjun gave him a mildly offended look but still continued. “I know Tae, but this time it’s different. I can literally feel it in my bones. By this time next week I will have met them, mark my words.”

The sheer conviction with which he said it was almost enough to convince even Taehyun. Maybe there was something more to it so he glanced at their bond expert but Kai just shrugged his shoulders.

Taehyun decided to end it there and was about to go to his room to change into something more comfortable but was stopped by Yeonjun’s voice. “I brought chicken, there’s still some in the kitchen if you’re hungry and there’s beer in the fridge.”

Taehyun could feel his mouth starting to water at the prospect of eating something that isn’t instant ramen for once. It’s not his fault he was always too busy with his studies to learn how to cook properly and that Kai was too much of a menace in the kitchen he earned himself an indefinitely long suspension from the stove. The only one of them who could pass the definition of being able to cook was Yeonjun but since he didn’t live with them and even he didn’t have the patience to teach Kai how to cook, they mostly relied on instant packed food and takeout the latter not being as viable since technically only Taehyun had a job and he didn’t have the heart to spend the money Kai earned through his tutoring gigs. Did that mean Taehyun was going to go all mushy on Yeonjun? No way in hell. “Well at least that’s some kind of payment for always staying here and eating all our ramen.”

He could see the warning glance from Kai in his periphery but he knew what he was doing and knew the exact response Yeonjun would give him as soon he saw the smug smirk appear on his face. “Nonsense! It should be you paying me just for gracing your living space with my majestic presence.”

The room was silent for a beat and then both of them burst into laughter.

“I’m going to change and I’ll be right back. Don’t eat the chicken hyung.”

“No promises!”

While Taehyun was changing in his room he couldn’t help but to hear an exchanging of words.

“You know he didn’t mean it like that right, hyung? You’re always welcome here.”

“I know Kai, don’t worry. He actually told me the same thing but just in his own way. It’s just the way he is with me. I’ve known him while his sisters were still here, and if we’ve managed to become best friends even then this is nothing.” 

“I just wish you knew how much you meant to him even if he never shows it. I wish I knew why he’s like that with you…”

“Don’t worry. I know and he does show it. Just not in the same way he does to you. And it’s not like I had nothing to do with the way we fell apart way back when. Some things never really disappear no matter how hard you try. You of all people should know that even if I wish you didn’t.”

After that there was silence and Taehyun was left with a bittersweet feeling on his tongue. It was true that after Yeonjun came back from the states they didn’t talk about what happened right before he left. They just stayed in this kind of half friendship where they pretended that things were still the same but they couldn’t escape the cloud of tension and awkwardness. But after years of pretending everything was fine it eventually did become fine. At least for the most part. Taehyun thought they would eventually end up talking about it but they never did. Maybe they still should and finally stop having Kai stuck in the middle.

After he got out of his room and grabbed the chicken and beer from the kitchen he sat next to Kai on the couch deciding to join him in watching Netflix. Before he started eating he looked at Yeonjun. ‘Baby steps, Taehyun’ “Thank you for the food hyung.” The slight embarrassment he felt was worth seeing Yeonjun’s red face and big proud smile. “You’re welcome.”

He ate, somewhat invested in the series that was on, and after he finished his meal he stayed watching, Yeonjun’s typing becoming background noise. Somewhere during the third episode Kai gently wrapped one of his arms around Taehyun’s waist and with the other he gently rubbed his belly. Soon his head was lowered into the crook of Taehyun’s neck and Taehyun covered them with a blanket, Kai’s hand never leaving his stomach. This is where Taehyun felt safe. This is where he felt at home. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he gave up on finding his soulmate and just stayed in Kai’s arms for all eternity. And, of course, in typical Kai Kamal Huening fashion, as if he knew exactly what Taehyun was thinking, he just had to open his pretty mouth. “Did you have any luck narrowing it down today?” He could see Kai peering at him, so he rubbed his temple and gave out a sigh and retold Kai how his “search” has been going.

After he was done, Kai stayed quiet seemingly in deep thought. Surprisingly, it was Yeonjun who spoke up.

“Maybe you’re not as ready to find him as you thought you were.”

Taehyun had to process those words. And Kai’s silence didn’t help.

“Me? You’re telling me I’M the one who’s not ready? Me, who has been waiting for him for the past eight years.”

Yeonjun interrupted him, “Yes you’ve been waiting but what else? Have you actually done anything to meet him? To get him to meet you?

“WHAT?? I’ve been trying to gain his trust for all these years. I’ve been supporting him and tried to comfort him whenever I could. I-“

He was interrupted by Kai’s movement. He let go of Taehyun only holding one of his arms and looked at him.

“You know, I think hyung is right.”

Now Taehyun was really angry. “What the fuck Kai! You are the one who’s always been telling me not to go after him. To wait. To give him his space. You told me I shouldn’t be diving in head first and finding him because I could break our bond!”

Kai continued compassionately, never once raising his voice, “I know what I said Hyun. And it’s true but tell me honestly, Hyun, when was the last time you actually just asked him to meet you? Did you even after the first time you failed? Ever since then you were too scared of rejection. I know you Hyun. And when he disappeared for two years you became too afraid you’d scare him away, but let me tell you the whole sneaking around trying to find him is much scarier to him then if you had just asked him. And tell me, do you honestly think he will ever be the one to suggest meeting you? And think about it Hyun. If you were to meet tomorrow what would you do? You’ve majored in psychology and don’t tell me he didn’t have at least some influence in that decision. So use that big brain of yours and all the knowledge you gathered from your studies. Come up with a concrete plan. Yes, you can’t just dive in first but when I told you that I expected you to be smart enough to come to that conclusion yourself.”

Taehyun was left speechless. God, he really was an idiot, thinking he could just improvise all of it. This was another human being he was dealing with. His actions will have consequences on another person, not just himself. Another life was in his hands, not a grade, or referees for one of his football tryouts. He shouldn’t behave so irresponsibly. It was just that old habits die hard. He really should come up with a proper plan of action. To protect both his soulmate and himself from hurt, as much as it is in his power to do so.

Kai wrapped his arms around him again and the urgency of Taehyun’s brain screaming: PLAN! NOW! was gone. He shouldn’t rush and he defiantly couldn’t do anything right now so he let himself relax in Kai’s arms. That was until Yeonjun spoke up again.

“What exactly would happen if your bond broke?”

Kai could feel Taehyun tense again but he quickly assured him by patting his head signaling that he was going to handle his brother. “Hyung… You know what would happen… If a bond breaks you lose your soulmate forever.”

It seemed Yeonjun wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “Yes, but is that it? You don’t die? You don’t get hurt or, I don’t know, lose the ability to love? You can still feel?”

Kai was exasperated by Yeonjun’s train of thought. “Hyung… If you don’t have a soulmate to love, you could never experience that true love, it’s not a small thing to lose”

“But you still love Taehyun don’t you? Even if he isn’t your soulmate and you don’t have one? You still have the ability to love, or are you telling me it isn’t true love?”

What the fuck was with everyone mentioning that stupid fact recently. Kai was getting too tired of it.

“An animal bred in captivity can learn to love its cage, but one that had freedom from the start will always hate it. So no, it isn’t the fucking same. And I would like to see you give up so quickly if your soulmate ended up not wanting to meet you for personal reasons.”

Kai could see the flash of hurt cross Yeonjun’s face at the thought but it was gone immediately. “But this isn’t giving up quickly. It has been eight fucking year of constant hurt. This would be knowing when you’ve had enough suffering. I’m so tired of seeing both of you in pain and if it was up to me I would walk up to that no-good soulmate and tell him to either get it together or to just break it off. Wouldn’t both of you just be happier dating each other?”

Now Kai was really riled up. As if he doesn’t just want the best for his literal best friend. “For fuck’s sake hyung! Of course we wouldn’t, Hyun doesn’t even love me like that! And this isn’t even just about us. You’re forgetting his soulmate is a real person! With feelings! You don’t even know him! Even you can’t be that selfish.”

“Honestly he can go kill himself for all I care I just don’t want it to be with Taehyun’s well being on the line!”

“Enough, both of you!” Kai was too riled up to notice Taehyun shaking in his arms and slipping out to stand. “How about you actually think about what I want? Kai, literally if I didn’t have a soulmate I would jump at you the first chance I get so shut up about the things you know nothing about. And Yeonjun-hyung! You’re better than literally wishing for another person to die. Do you honestly think I’m the only one suffering here? Ask yourself what led him to be the way he is. And if you can’t, imagine his best friend saying the things you just said about me. And for what? Being too scared? That’s basically what he is too. So stop being so uncharacteristically heartless. God why did I have to get stuck with such annoying and stubborn best friends along with a soulmate who doesn’t want me? I’m going to sleep and you two better stop screaming at each other and apologize. Got it?” He didn’t wait for their response, “Good. Good night.”

The two of them were left in stunned silence once the door to Taehyun’s room shut closed. Kai would be the first to admit that they went overboard but he could just not get behind Yeonjun’s thought process. But Taehyun’s outburst seemingly affected Yeonjun much more. He could see his eyes glistening over.

“I’m sorry… I… I just want him to be happy…for all of us to be happy…” He hiccupped trying to keep the tears in his eyes. It was rare for Kai to see his brother like this. So he approached him and did what he does best. He hugged him.

“I know hyung. I want the same thing. But you have to remember his soulmate is not to blame. No one is, we just got dealt a shitty destiny. We still have each other though and I’m happy with just that. I’m sorry for yelling.”

Yeonjun sniffled, “Me to Kai. I said some pretty shitty things. I’m sorry for being a bad hyung. To both of you.”

Kai just held him tighter, “You did hyung, but sometimes saying shitty things doesn’t make you a bad hyung. I know it came from the right place.”

“Thank you Kai.”

Taehyun, of course, didn’t even plan on sleeping anytime soon. And, of course, he could hear the two of them through the thin walls. At least they made up. He could always count on Kai to be the one to forgive and forget. He simply didn’t have it in himself to stay mad at anyone for long. It made Taehyun think about what he confessed earlier and the thoughts that briefly occupied his brain. About how nice it would be to be with Kai. How easy it would be. But Kai could handle the world without him and there was someone just on the other side of his skin who couldn’t. A funny, clumsy idiot who had to simultaneously fight against both the world and himself. A fight which Taehyun believed he could help him win. And he wanted to so much. Kai wasn’t wrong when he said Taehyun chose his major for him.

He wanted to talk to him, just to see how he was doing, but he wondered what to open with. Just as he came up with the perfect thing and went to grab a pencil he could feel a grip on his arm and letters started to appear.

_Soulmate_

Already Taehyun could feel something off. And even the handwriting seemed weird. He didn’t respond immediately and soon another

_Soulmate_

followed.

He responded carefully and in just a few minutes he could piece together a story. It seemed that this best friend was much alike his own but even more stubborn and impulsive and, by the looks of it, drunk. He saved the number and wondered if anything good would come out of it. Probably not.

Still in the morning he was the first to text since the other guy didn’t actually have his number.

**Soulmate’s bff**

so…do you remember what you did last night?

are you sober now?

He awaited the answer patiently but it didn’t seem like it would come anytime soon. So Taehyun proceeded with his day as usual.

It was late afternoon when his phone finally chimed.

**Soulmate’s bff**

OWO

is this real?

are you really…

umm

Bunny’s

soulmate

?

Oh God, he was a serial texter, lord save Taehyun he had enough of that shit from Kai.

**Soulmate’s bff**

yes, it’s real…

OWO

ok

ok

so….

name

age

where do you live

what do you look like

how can I help

what makes you think I’ll answer any of those

how do I even know you are who you say you are?

and I thought you actually had a plan

first

it’ll be easier to help you

second

how would I know you two also have a sex bond that manifested while you were in high school if I wasn’t his best friend

trust me he wouldn’t go around sharing that kind of stuff

third

idk man

how can I plan if I don’t know how you want to approach this

fourth

you can call me Bam for convenience sake

I’m 24 so add hyung there if you’re younger

fine no one else knows about that so let’s say I trust you for now

still not telling you anything tho Bam-ssi

clever boy

but my guess is

you are younger than me

since you’re supposed to be his classmate

and that idiot decided to rule out everyone younger

so feel comfortable calling me hyung

;)

also

the plan boi

spill it

what makes you think I have one?

well how do you want to approach it

surprise attack?

sneaky?

right away?

bish if I even knew how to approach him we wouldn’t be having this converstion

it’s up to you

dammit

I was afraid it’d come to this

fine

give me a few days

to think

and I’ll get back at you

just…one request

I don’t want to scare him away and be treated to another two years of silence

easier said than done pal

and don’t worry

I won’t let it come to that a second time

After that there were no more messages and Taehyun didn’t know how he could continue the conversation so he let it end there. But even if the whole exchange was bizarre and had no real influence on finding his soulmate Taehyun at least gained the slightest bit of insight to the mysterious figure that was his soulmate’s best friend. His soulmate mentioned him here and there so over the years he gained bits and pieces of information regarding him but he still pretty much remained a stranger to him. He knew that they were friend since high school which meant he was by his soulmate’s side through some of his worst times. It was the knowledge he had for a long time but interacting with that person for the first time solidified his existence as a living, breathing human. And just from the way he texted and spoke Taehyun could gauge him so much more. And he was thankful that his soulmate had someone as goofy and positive as Bam seemed to be by his side. Taehyun decided to snuff the little spark of jealousy he felt just for the desire to be him but more than anything he felt grateful. Not only for Bam being there for his soulmate but also for deciding to bring him one person closer to Bunny.

Even if he turned out useless in the sense of helping him find his soulmate at least he felt more connected to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the skipped week exam week is crazy. That's why I'm posting this now at three a.m. becasue I know I wouldn't be able write it in peace the nex few days. Christmas preperations and all of those shenanigans and that would explain why this is such bad quality :p  
> Anyway...  
> I'll probably be able to finish the next chapter by next week (probably because I actually have a plan for that one unlike this improvisation I literally pulled out of my ass)  
> If the holiday chaos stops me from posting I'll annonce it on twitter (and probably give a little spoiler) so watch out for that ;)
> 
> And in the case I don't post next monday let me just wish you happy holidays :D
> 
> P.S. thought of a new tag that fits perfectly
> 
> Enjoy (:  
> and see you next time ;)


	12. KITTEN Part 3: No Such Thing as Coincidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't really have much to say  
> Another chapter of relationship builiding for Taejunkai
> 
> Enjoy :)

The next few days of Taehyun’s life dragged at an unusually slow pace. He still hadn’t heard from Bam and for a second there he wondered if he gave up on helping Taehyun. He also hadn’t seen or heard from Yeonjun since their mini fight. He knew the other’s schedule had gotten much more hectic but he couldn’t help but to feel like there was some avoiding done by the other. And Kai had, in addition to volunteering at the local animal shelter, picked up a few more piano tutoring gigs so he was out of the house most of the time. Which left Taehyun feeling bored and alone. Which led to him spending most of his free time at the gym. It was the only way to keep his mind off of the troubling thoughts that have been progressively easier entering his head.

It was Saturday when his phone finally chimed. And what’s more there were two messages.

 **Bam hyung** : I’ve come up with something

 **Hyungie** : hi Tae, can I come over?

And even if he was dying to know what Bam came up with Yeonjun was his priority so Bam could wait a few minutes. Thankfully he was just about done with his exercise.

**Hyungie**

hi Tae, can I come over?

I think we should talk

since when do you ask hyung?

but yes of course, there’s a reason you have a key

thank you

I’ll be there in an hour

you don’t need to thank me hyung

Now that that was dealt with Taeyhun pulled up his chat with Bam.

**Bam hyung**

I’ve come up with something

sorry for not contacting you earlier

I’ve been swamped

with work

it’s okay I‘ve been waiting for eight years, a few days are nothing

so, what’s the plan

well

the plan is

on monday after your class

someone will be waiting for your soulmate

in front of the department building

they are a bit shorter than your soulmate

have gray hair

not to mention extremely handsome

they’ll be dressed in all black

leather jacket and combat boots

and will be holding two coffees

one for themselves

and one for your soulmate

so when you see them

the other person is your soulmate

got it?

and this mystery person wouldn’t happen to be you now would it?

perhaps

anyway

that’s the plan

why not just send me a picture of yourself

two reasons

I don’t want to

and you can’t make me

seriously?

wouldn’t it be much easier for both of us

yes

but it just doesn’t feel right

it feel like giving away too much

idk man

it’s hard to explain

fine

I get that

guess I’ll see you Monday

probably

if you manage to catch us

I don’t plan on waiting for you

Now that was a problem. Taehyun as a TA always had to stay just a bit longer to tidy up the class materials and to lock up. But he couldn’t mention that to Bam or he would figure out who he was. He just had to pray that he could catch up. And there was definitely one thing he knew for sure. He would have to talk to Kai about it. The younger shouldn’t be tutoring the next day.

He quickly changed out of his wet clothes and went back to the apartment. After a brisk shower he picked up a book that could contain something helpful for his thesis and settled on the couch.

It wasn’t long after when he heard the front door being unlocked and an electric blue head of hair peak through. “Taehyunnie? Are you there?” His voice was quiet and careful.

“In the living room hyung.”

It was only then that Yeonjun seemed to notice him completely bundled up in blankets on the couch.

“God, Taehyun I thought you were part of the furniture, make yourself more obvious.” He joked but the small smile on his face quickly faltered, as if he wasn’t allowed to joke with Taehyun. And Taehyun couldn’t have that. One of the basis of their friendship is how it’s always been so easy and effortless (until it wasn’t but Taehyun doesn’t like thinking about that time), how the jokes flew around like nothing and the way they meant so much to each other. So seeing Yeonjun like this reminded him too much of that cursed time a few years ago.

So he untangled himself from the blankets and stood up. He approached Yeonjun who looked as if he was bracing himself to be beaten up by Taehyun. Honestly Taehyun was a little hurt by that kind of reaction. Instead of doing what Yeonjun expected him to he linked their arms and dragged the older to the couch. “Seriously hyung. Do you want me to punch you? Because if you do I’d be more than happy to oblige.” He teased hoping it would alleviate the mood but the look on Yeonjun’s face made him regret it. “Jeez, hyung I was just kidding. Stop acting like I hate you. You said you wanted to talk so if you still want to I’m all ears. And if you don’t want to I could just go back to reading and you’re free to do your own thing.”

Yeonjun seemed like he was considering it but he quickly shook his head with a resolute look in his eyes. “No Tae, I came here to talk so that’s what I’m gonna do.” Taehyun gestured for him to continue. He knew what was coming but he knew he had to let Yeonjun let it off of his chest. “I want to apologize Taehyunnie. I was a complete jackass and I said such awful things without meaning them and without thinking how it would make you feel. I’m sorry for always letting my own insecurities get the better of me and constantly ruining our friendship. It’s no wonder Hyuka is your favorite.” Yeonjun’s eyes shone with unshed tears but Taehyun couldn’t help the small anger he felt at his hyung for demeaning himself like that.

He lightly flicked Yeonjun’s forehead and then hugged him right afterward. “You dumbass. I don’t have favorites. And don’t worry hyung, I know you didn’t mean it and I was never actually angry at you. But I know you need to hear it otherwise you would just continue to beat yourself up over it so here it is. I forgive you. You’re still my best and oldest friend so don’t think something as small as this argument would change that.”

He could feel Yeonjun relax a bit in his arms at that. “Thank you Tae.”

A thought entered Taehyun’s mind while they were sitting in a hug like that. It wasn’t two weeks ago he thought about how much he wanted someone who would put him first for once. But here Yeonjun was. It was a bittersweet feeling. On one hand it made him happy and slightly boosted his ego to have someone so devoted to him but on the other Yeonjun could take that devotion too far as made clear by what happened on Monday. It was something he should ponder on some more.

For now he let go of Yeonjun and looked at him with a fond smile. “How about we use that gratefulness and you teach me how to actually cook something?” And Yeonjun’s eyes shined bright and there as a teasing glint.

“Ooh, is my Taehyunnie finally deciding to learn how to adult?” This was what Taehyun wanted, bright smiles and light teasing. This was what they were supposed to be.

“Don’t worry I’ll still be begging for you to cook for me any opportunity I get.” Taehyun winked and with they were off to the kitchen to create their battle plan.

Later that afternoon Kai came back to an apartment full of laughter, seeing the two giggle about something in the kitchen as they washed the dishes, and when Taehyun noticed him he could see just how tired he was but despite it a very fond smile stretched his lips. In that moment the kitchen, just the way it was, was Taehyun’s most favorite place in the world.

* * *

When Kai woke up he felt stiff all over only to realize he slept on the couch. It wasn’t that surprising since he remembers not wanting to leave Yeonjun and Taehyun even though he felt exhausted from the day. After the fight they had on Monday he desperately needed all of them to go back to normal and just be happy in each other’s company. Especially when he came back and felt the overwhelming gut feeling it wasn’t going to last long and his gut feelings were very rarely wrong. Perks of being a seer.

So it was no wonder he refused to go to bed early and stayed playing some games with them and probably passed out at one point. He was also tightly wrapped in a blanket which one of them probably provided him with. He checked his phone and scrolled through his notifications, most of them coming from the various group chats he was in, there was also the final version of next week’s volunteering schedule, and his Thursday tutoring session being cancelled.

As he was scrolling through his various SNS, Taehyun came out of his room.

“Oh, you’re up?” it was more a statement than a question.

“What keen eyes you have Hyun” Kai joked.

Taehyun came closer and honestly Kai expected the light smack he got on his head. He just laughed.

“Brat.”

And he knew Taehyun for sure didn’t expect when he grabbed his hand and pulled him down right into his arms. “Love you too Hyunnie.”

Taehyun stayed right there for a few minutes, just long enough for Kai to reconsider his actions and realize his heart was picking up its pace and feel the heat in his cheeks. Taehyun will always have that kind of an effect on Kai, that’s the truth he realized a long time ago but as long as he could be by his side in any way and get to see his smile it was more than enough for Kai. The love he had for Taehyun could never be a source of pain for him. So even if the ugly feeling of jealousy showed up from time to time Kai battled it with the simple fact that Soobin would never have Taehyun in the same way Kai had him. Their relationship was special and not even a soulmate could take it away from them.

“I can hear you getting stuck in your head, you overgrown teddy bear. Stop it and tell me if you have any plans for today.” Kai let go of Taehyun only to have the other move just enough so he could look at Kai with those big, sparkly eyes.

“Not really” he answered and Taehyun beamed at him.

“Great! We’re going for a walk when I get back.” It was only then that Kai noticed Taehyun’s gym bag that he dropped when Kai pulled him down and of course Taehyun noticed Kai side eyeing it. “Unless you want to join me at the gym.” he said playfully.

“So you say now but just imagine if I became a gym rat like you just how easy it would be for me to throw you around. You don’t actually want that.” he answered to which Taehyun scoffed.

“Your lazy ass keeps coming up with these ridiculous excuses that make me wonder how exactly your brain works. But have it your way.”

“No but seriously I have some work to catch up with so I couldn’t even if I wanted.”

“Okay, then you do that and I’ll see you later.”

Kai gave Taehyun a quick hug before he got up and headed for the door. “Bye Hyunnie, and don’t overwork yourself.”

“Bye Kai.”

When Taehyun came back he was completely soaked testifying to the heavy rainfall Kai could hear outside.

“So much about our date”

Despite his wet state there was a huge smile on Taehyun’s face. “I mean there’s nothing more freeing then running in a downpour but I just did that and I assume you wouldn’t be interested.”

Kai couldn’t say he was surprised. “You’re so weird Hyunnie.” he said to which Taehyun just shrugged.

“Anyway, I’ll go take a quick shower and dry off then we can order something and have a simple movie night? That okay with you?”

“Sure”

It didn’t take long for their food to arrive and when they both settled on the couch with the first guardians of the galaxy playing in the background.

“Did you manage to finish your assignments for next week? I can help if you’re having difficulties or don’t have the time for all of them,” Taehyun casually asked while taking another slice of pizza.

“I did and don’t worry Hyunnie I’m perfectly capable of doing my own course work. You did your fair share of studying and homework.” Kai said and he felt a phone on the table next to his side of the couch vibrate. It was Taehyun’s phone. “You’ve gotten a notification.”

Taehyun just lazily looked to his phone with no intention of getting up and checking it. “What is it?”

Kai lifted the phone, making sure it stayed plugged in to the charger. He was slightly confused by an unfamiliar name. He usually had a pretty good grasp of Taehyun’s social circle. “It says Bam-hyung. He asks when exactly your class ends tomorrow. “

Taehyun’s eyes widened a bit in a look which Kai learned to recognize as slightly panicky. It just raised more questions. “Oh yeah, I’ve meant to talk to you about him.”

Now Kai was really intrigued. “Who is he?”

Taehyun took a deep breath and paused the movie. _Oh_ , Kai realized, _this is serious_.

“Supposedly, he’s my soulmate’s best friend. I mean he knows about the other connection so I think it checks out.” Kai could see the slight blush on Taehyun’s cheeks, the one that always appeared when Taehyun talked about that stuff. _Cute_ , his brain unnecessarily supplied.

“Oh? And how did you connect with him?”

And so Taehyun relayed to him everything that happened in the past week when Kai was too busy with life. He even showed him all the messages they exchanged. Throughout it all Kai noticed just how tense Taehyun was and how he constantly looked at him for any reaction. When he finished there was nothing but silence while Kai processed everything he’s learned.

“So? What do you think? Is this rushing it too much?” Taehyun carefully asked.

Kai thought about it.

“Well, I don’t think it is. It isn’t unusual for friends to be the cause for the first meeting. As long as it’s not a seer. So theoretically there shouldn’t be a problem?” Kai spoke the truth but there was something nagging at the back of his head. It told him it won’t be that simple. Taehyun noticed his reluctance.

“And practically?”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” He decided to keep his thoughts to himself but Taehyun could read him too well.

“I know you’re leaving something out Kai. Just tell me.”

“I just didn’t want to bring down your mood but fine, if you want the truth I don’t think much will come out of it. It won’t be that easy.” He could see Taehyun visibly deflate so he added, “But it’s just a feeling. I could be wrong.” to try and soften the blow. It didn’t and Taehyun just scoffed, a look of acceptance in his eyes.

“We all know your ‘feelings’ are mostly correct. I think I didn’t actually think it would be that easy. But we’ll see what happens.”

It seemed like that would be the end of it so they returned to the food and the movie.

At one point Taehyun paused the movie and went to the toilet. In the meantime Kai decided to see what his brother was up to. But as soon as he opened their chat a very strong headache overtook him and he felt as if someone was pulling on his brain like it was a string. He saw a blurry figure but he couldn’t even think about anything and he barely registered Taehyun calling for him and his own fingers typing before he collapsed.

* * *

When Taehyun woke up the next morning he was surprised to see Kai already halfway through his own morning routine. When the younger suddenly collapsed the day before, Taehyun had half a mind to call the ambulance to take him to the hospital, The first thought was the younger was still overworked and too stressed but then he saw the hastily typed out note on Kai’s phone.

**No hospital seer stuff**

It was good he did that because whenever he ended up in a hospital and they realized he was a seer they always tried to keep him for ‘a few additional examinations’ and Taehyun had to help him escape. So he used all of his strength to carry him to his room, being able to do it this time because he was sure the younger wouldn’t wake up and he’d be damned if he let one of his best friends sleep on their uncomfortable couch two nights in a row.

“Morning Kai. How are you feeling?”

Kai startled a bit but was fast in relaxing and giving Taehyun one of his signature smiles. “Pretty good. Wish I could sleep a bit more. The standard.” He seemed normal.

“What was that about yesterday?” Taehyun asked carefully hoping he wouldn’t trigger anything bad in the younger.

“What? What happened?” Kai seemed genuinely confused.

“You blacked out.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, you said it was seer stuff. You don’t remember?” Taehyun tried explaining but was continuously met with the sheepish and apologetic look from Kai.

“Yeah, I don’t. Sorry, you were probably worried. But I feel fine now.”

“Well that’s all that is important.” Taehyun was worried it could happen again but he decided to keep his worries to himself. Guess he’ll just have to keep a closer eye on Kai throughout the day. “Let’s grab lunch after class.”

They spent the morning with each of them doing their own thing and around half an hour before class headed to the campus, no sign of yesterday’s clouds in sight. Earlier his professor texted him saying she was sick and couldn’t make it to class so he was in charge today. He still got nervous when everything was left to him but teaching was what he wanted to do so it never stopped him from giving it his all. He was going over the lesson while they walked and Kai probably noticed Taehyun wasn’t paying attention to him rambling about one of the kids he tutored so he stopped talking and shifted his attention to his phone.

After a while, once Taehyun had done mentally revising how he was going to approach today’s class, they fell back into comfortable banter which continued even when they walked into the classroom.

Just as he was about to start the classroom door suddenly opened and Han Jisung ran in and made a big commotion. Taehyun honestly felt a bit sorry for Hyunjin so he stopped him before he embarrassed both of them even more. He secretly shared a laugh with Kai and then got back to the lesson.

When he dismissed the class for the break he joined Kai when he went out to get some coffee from the coffee machine. They were both surprised to see Yeonjun waiting on a bench in front of the classroom. “Oh, are you done already? I thought you had at least an hour left.”

They exchanged the same questioning look. “I’ve let them out for a fifteen minute break. But the bigger question is what are you doing here hyung?”

Yeonjun got up and came closer. “I wanted to treat you for lunch but wasn’t sure when exactly you finish so I came like ten minutes ago to wait. Are you headed somewhere?”

Taehyun smiled. Hand it to Yeonjun to surprise them like this. “Yeah, Kai wanted to get coffee.”

And so they headed to the machine and while the brothers were talking Taehyun wrote on his hand. But there was no answer as usual.

The break was coming to the end and so Yeonjun said to both of them “Okay so if you finish in an hour I’ll go take a walk and then I’ll pick you up after class for lunch and then afterwards we could go for some ice cream if the both of you have time.”

When Yeonjun left, Taehyun noticed Kai looked a bit sick but before he could ask if he was okay he was distracted by writing on his left hand. After a brief exchange he focused back on Kai who still seemed a bit out of it. “Is everything fine?”

In the typical Kai fashion he denied not being well but he still confessed “I remember what happened yesterday.” Now Taehyun was alerted but before he spoke Kai just waved him off. “I’ll tell you later. We should head back.” And that was the end of that.

Taehyun wrapped up the lesson and hurried out knowing Yeonjun could possibly slow him down in heading out of the building to try and catch Bam. But as he was packing up his things Kai came to him and held his wrist. “You don’t need to hurry, it won’t matter.” Taehyun shot him a confused look but Kai didn’t seem like he was going to elaborate. So Taehyun took his time and when they walked out Yeonjun was there. The three of them set off toward the stairs that led to the lobby of the faculty building but suddenly Yeonjun stopped with a distressed look on his face. He turned to Kai almost as if asking a question. “Don’t worry hyung, you’ve waited long enough. Go while they’re still nearby. It’ll be okay. You have nothing to worry about.”

By then Yeonjun was visibly shaking and when Kai finished he gave him one more reluctant look and then ran off. Throughout the whole exchange Taehyun was left to just stand there, no clue about what was happening but starting to piece it together. “His soulmate?” he asked Kai once they were left alone.

Kai looked tired but happy. “Yeah. That’s why I fainted yesterday. I had a premonition and sometimes those make me pass out. It happened again during the break but not as strong.”

Taehyun was surprised. In all of his years of knowing Kai he knew his powers included more than simply seeing the bond but for him to actually see the future was something he could’ve never imagined. The confusion of his face must’ve been obvious. “Let’s just go to the cafeteria, I’ll explain in to you while we eat” And so they headed in the opposite direction then the one Yeonjun ran off to, toward the cafeteria.

* * *

Later that night, while still pondering over the huge scope of Kai’s powers he had gotten a strange message from Bam who not only didn’t question whether he’d seen him but actually discovered Taehyun’s identity. And of course the other ghosted him right after and that left Taehyun alone with his thoughts and trying to crack the riddle life just threw at him.

There was one solution in the back of his mind but he decided to not jump to any conclusions. He needed to go step by step through all the facts he had.

  1. He didn’t find Bam today.
  2. Kai stopped Taehyun from rushing out.
  3. Kai knew Yeonjun would meet his soulmate.
  4. Bam found out who Taehyun was.



Fact number one happened because he wasn’t fast enough in exiting the building which happened because Kai stopped him. But judging by fact number two Kai probably knew Taehyun wouldn’t find Bam either way. It led Taehyun to believe it was because of fact number three. The commotion Yeonjun made would make it impossible for Taehyun to catch up to his soulmate and Bam. But there was something that just didn’t sit right with that conclusion and it was fact number four.

For Bam to have figured out who he was there were three possibilities.

A) He found out from a seer.

B) Taehyun’s soulmate found out and told Bam.

C) Someone they both know who knew the nature of Taehyun’s bond and to whom Bam talked about Taehyun’s soulmate.

Option A would mean either Bam knew Kai or another seer which was unlikely and Kai definitely wouldn’t have told him, so as much as it was possible it was very unlikely.

Option B scared Taehyun the most because if his soulmate found out who he was nobody knew what was going to happen so he didn’t want to consider that option.

Option C was the tricky one because Bam needed to just learn about it that day. The problem was whether he learned it from someone new he met or from someone he already knew but didn’t talk about their friends’ soulmates. The thing was there were only two people that knew about the nature of his bond and his problems with his soulmate and those were Yeonjun and Kai. And neither of them would talk about it to just anyone. And considering the day’s events Kai couldn’t have because Taehyun was next to him the whole day which leaves only Yeonjun. And there was a perfect candidate to who he would have told something like that. His soulmate. There was only one question that needed answering that would confirm his theory. So Taehyun went to Kai’s room and gently knocked. After Kai hummed in response he entered.

“Did you see Yeonjun’s soulmate in your premonition?”

Kai looked reasonably confused. “Ummm…yes.”

That brought him closer to the conclusion. He just needed confirmation from the younger.

“Is Bam Yeonjun’s soulmate?”

Kai visibly tensed and there were a few seconds of silence that were all the confirmation Taehyun needed before Kai asked “How did you come to that conclusion?”

Taehyun came closer to give Kai’s head a few pats. “You’re not very good at hiding the truth Kai. Be happy I’m not asking you directly about every student in my class if they’re my soulmate because I would be able to tell just by your face when I got the one.”

Kai swept away his hand and gave his best offended look which would’ve been more impactful had it not been for the red tinted cheeks. “Don’t patronize me. Being used to being honest isn’t a bad quality.”

To which Taehyun smirked and gave a nod. “Never said it was. Anyway just how did it turn out like this? To have one of my best friend’s soulmate being my soulmate’s best friend. Talk about coincidence.”

Kai laughed but there wasn’t much joy in it. It was almost bitter. “I’ve always told you Hyun. The faiths like toying with us too much and there’s no such thing as coincidence.”

Taehyun rolled his eyes. Same as he always did when Kai talked about the stuff larger than life as if he was intimately familiar with it. He probably was to some extent but it always set of an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Probably a natural instinct woven into human DNA to stop them from getting too close to the truth. “Whatever you say. I’m going to bed for the night. I think I need a good night’s sleep to let all of that sink in.”

And so he did just that. Tomorrow’s Taehyun might be smarter in dealing with all of that.

* * *

**Bam-hyung**

So

Kang Taehyun

23

a TA

who would’ve thought

yes it is interesting that you just happen to be my best friend’s soulmate

:O

how did you know

did Yeonjun tell you?

no I just figured it out

smarts

no wonder you’re a TA at your age

that’s what a year of constantly doing advanced classes in high school does to you

oh

never thought about that

but

how come you’re so smarts

but still haven’t figured out who your soulmate is

especially when you have access to his handwriting

I do have my suspicions

you do?

who?

will you tell me if I’m right?

do…

do you want me to

no

then I won’t

what it the point in telling you then

tru

but I do have a beginning of a plan forming

so stay tuned

ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was a bit slow and anti climactic but be warned this is the last breather before I hit you with four chapters of angst on stereoids so appriciate the small things
> 
> Thanks for reading and see you next week (:


	13. KITTEN Part 4: I Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, the 7k monster that, after three chapters of filler picks up the plot once again.  
> Also just what the hell is up with TaeJun? Well, you definetly won't find out in this chapter haha  
> Anyway, as always Hyuka best boi and enjoy ;)

Taehyun didn’t see Yeonjun again until Wednesday. Bam wasn’t texting him either so he assumed the two spent most of their free time together which wasn’t unusual for newly met soulmates. But when he asked Kai about whether he’d heard from Yeonjun the other said he even came by while Taehyun wasn’t home. So Taehyun was justifiably confused. He thought they’ve put their fight aside and that everything was fine so he couldn’t really explain the silence on Yeonjun’s end. So to clear up the situation he texted Yeonjun asking for a meet up and Yeonjun didn’t seem that reluctant to agree. Which left Taehyun even more perplexed. Maybe in all the hustle of meeting his soulmate Yeonjun forgot about Taehyun. He didn’t know which of the possibilities left him sadder.

So here he was, finished with his work day and waiting in front of Yeonjun’s studio to be let in. Yeonjun suggested they have a joint practice like they used to. Taehyun hadn’t danced like that in a while but if it was what Yeonjun wanted he was willing to do it.

He was let in by Yeonjun himself who didn’t talk much aside from leading him to the room they were going to use and directing their stretching. Taehyun figured out he wasn’t going to get anything substantial from Yeonjun right away so he proceeded to stretch and when they were done with that Yeonjun went over the choreo they were going to learn and Taehyun let him teach him.

Four hours later, midnight just having passed, every muscle in Taehyun’s body was sour but it felt good, the same as if he had just had an intense exercise session. His body was quick in recalling the basic ways it had to move and now both he and Yeonjun were sitting on the floor monitoring the video Yeonjun intended to put up on his youtube channel. It finally got the seal of approval from Yeonjun so Taehyun let himself collapse on the floor Yeonjun quickly following him after putting on a more lowkey playlist.

They laid there for almost two songs before Taehyun decided he had had enough and, seeing as it was obvious Yeonjun wanted to talk but hesitating, it was up to him to take the first step.

“Did I do something wrong Yeonjunnie-hyung? I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

Yeonjun took a deep breath and sat up, leaning his back on the wall. Taehyun mimicked his actions so they were sitting next to each other an unusual distance between them that Taehyun couldn’t bring himself to close. It would have to be Yeonjun. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t really avoiding you but I needed some time to clear my head before facing you.”

Taehyun didn’t like where this was heading and what was even worse he couldn’t figure out why. “Why? I’m sorry for whatever I did.”

Yeonjun sighed again. He avoided Taehyun’s eyes from the moment they started talking. “That’s the thing Tae, you have nothing to be sorry for because you literally didn’t do anything. You know how it’s like when I get stuck in my own head and blow things out of proportion.”

Taehyun really didn’t like the look of anguish on Yeonjun’s face. “Don’t say that hyung. No one is immune to overthinking but if you need to talk I’m always here for you.” Maybe it wasn’t his place to close the distance but he could show Yeonjun it was okay to do it so he opened his arms for a hug. And thankfully Yeonjun accepted his invitation by scooting over and leaning his head on Taehyun’s shoulder. “You’re too good to me Taehyunnie.” he whispered against Taheyun’s collarbone.

“No hyung, please don’t talk like that. You’re my best friend and I don’t want you talking so lowly of yourself okay? Do you want to tell me what happened? What made you so worried?”

There were a few minutes of silence while Taehyun gently carded his fingers through Yeonjun’s hair. “Promise you won’t hate me.”

That made Taehyun scoff. “I could never hate you hyung. So I think whatever you’re about to tell me won’t be nowhere near enough to make me hate you.” They both knew that was the truth.

Yeonjun heaved yet another sigh and lifted his head and leaned it on the wall, closing his eyes.

“I think my soulmate is your soulmate’s best friend.”

Taehyun momentarily observed Yeonjun, trying to figure out what exactly about that fact caused all of this.

“He is.”

Yeonjun’s head sharply turned to Taehyun’s direction. “W-What? How do you know?”

“Short of it, around a week ago he contacted me by writing on my soulmate who was probably passed out drunk.” Because of the slightly hurt look on Yeonjun’s face he had to add, “don’t worry, neither of us knew you two were soulmates. Anyway we’ve been texting since then, he said he would try to help me find out who my soulmate is and his big plan was that I would spot him on Monday after class but that didn’t work out for obvious reasons, and when later that day he told me he knew who I was I figured it out.”

Taehyun waited for Yeonjun to take in the information but once he did Taehyun noticed it didn’t relax him much. If anything he seemed a bit tenser. “But why did it make you worry so much hyung? I don’t get it.”

Yeonjun left a few seconds of silence before his answer. He obviously needed to gather his thoughts. “He asked me not to tell you his name or anything about your soulmate and I felt guilty about not telling you and was a bit scared you would be angry at me. I don’t like being in the middle. I’m sorry.”

That explanation was perfectly logical to Taehyun and it didn’t seem like a lie but Taehyun has been friends with Yeonjun for most of his life which resulted in him being able to read him pretty good. And he saw the look in Yeonjun’s eyes. There was something more, something he really didn’t want to tell Taehyun. Taehyun didn’t know what it was but that last thing Yeonjun said gave him a clue. It hinted at resentment and feelings buried deep in their relationship. Something they never resolved.

And Taehyun was too scared to pry any further especially since Yeonjun seemed like he was finally relaxing a bit so he feigned a cheerful expression.

“Don’t worry hyung, I get it and I’m not angry so we can just let it go.”

Yeonjun smiled and then got up extending a hand toward Taehyun. “C’mon Tae, get up we shouldn’t skip on stretching.”

And so they did and while they did Yeonjun observed him in the mirror. After they were done and packing Yeonjun finally asked what he had on his mind. “Can you dye your hair Tae?” which threw a complete curveball to Taehyun’s mind process. It seemed that Yeonjun really was over whatever happened between them.

“Yeah why wouldn’t I?”

His answer didn’t seem to satisfy Yeonjun. “No, I know you can but like would it show on your soulmate?”

“Oh… No, it won’t show on him. He told me once a few years back he wanted to try so I told him it was okay if it transferred to me so he did but I stayed my natural black. Same goes for nail polish.”

Yeonjun contemplated for a few second before asking “Would you consider trying it? I think you would look great with different hair colors.”

Taehyun thought about it. He had nothing against the idea in principle. He looked at Yeonjun’s electric blue strands. He thought about how different Yeonjun looked with each hair color. Maybe he could use some change. He never really experimented with his looks but he was never opposed to it when Kai or Yeonjun suggested he change his aesthetic from time to time. “Sure, why not?”

Yeonjun looked mildly surprised but then excitement took over. “Yes!! I’ve wanted to do this to you for years. Wanna come over so I can do it? Or is it too sudden? We can do it some other day.”

Taehyun smiled at the sheer eagerness that radiated from Yeonjun. “Sure, I have nothing better to do anyway. I don’t have work tomorrow but are you sure you’re okay pulling an all-nighter hyung?”

Yeonjun just smiled brightly, a contrast to the implication of his statement. “Don’t worry I wouldn’t have slept either way.”

That’s how they ended up going to a 24-hour convenience store where they bought some ramen and box dye. Yeonjun said it would be best to start simple so they went for light blonde. When they’ve gotten to Yeonjun’s apartment Yeonjun got to work. He already had the bleach and toners and three hours later Taehyun was sporting a very light blond. He was slightly surprised at the burning sensation on his scalp and prayed to god it wouldn’t wake his soulmate up. But suffice to say he liked it.

They managed to fit in three hours of sleep before Yeonjun had to go to the studio and so had to send Taehyun home not before giving him special shampoo, conditioner, hair mask and toner.

When he got home he was met with an excited shriek from Kai who was just about to leave for his early morning class. “Taehyunnie!!! You dyed your hair!!! It looks amazing! You’ll tell me all about it when I return but now I have to hurry if I don’t want to be late.” He quickly gave him a hug and was out the door before Taehyun could even say anything.

He had texted him when he left the studio with Yeonjun so he wouldn’t worry but only hinted at getting his hair dyed. Kai’s reaction made him happy.

And it seemed like his body decided the barely three hours of sleep he had gotten were enough because he definitely didn’t feel sleepy so he settled on just reading until he felt tired enough to catch some more sleep.

* * *

As it turned out he wouldn’t be able to relax for long. About an hour later he was startled by his soulmate’s writing. But he decided to not give in to the urge to respond. He had a plan to stick to so he ignored it. And god did that come back to bite him when he slowly started feeling his soulmate’s pulse picking up. But a part of his pride still didn’t let him respond so he did the next best thing. He just hoped that Bam was somewhere near his soulmate so he shot him a few messages but there was no response. Thankfully his soulmate seemed to have calmed down. But that calm didn’t last long and the heartbeat soon doubled in speed.

Taehyun was reasonably afraid of what was happening so he shot a few more messages but soon he started feeling chills all over. That was where he snapped and scrambled for a pencil to write on his arm but his soulmate wasn’t responding. He didn’t for a good twenty minutes and Taehyun started panicking pretty hard. He didn’t know what else he could do except covering himself in blankets hoping maybe it would warm his soulmate up. Finally he felt a few taps on his wrist, an old communication method they had in emergencies. At least now he knew the other was okay physically. He just hoped he would be okay mentally. Even if the only clue Taehyun had had was the fast heartbeat he could conclude by both that and past experience the older experienced a pretty severe panic attack. Thankfully he could feel him warming up after about ten minutes. And he felt a bit calmer so he hoped that would be the end of that.

It wasn’t.

Because soon after the heartbeat started spiking again and not only that but he noticed his messages to Bam were finally read. And then he got one short reply.

 **Bam-hyung** : We got found out

And that explained everything. Fuck, how careless was he? How careless was Bam? They should’ve been more careful and his soulmate was probably extremely hurt. He shouldn’t have gone behind his back. And now there was nothing he could do but regret.

When he felt the wetness on his cheeks he broke down and he could no longer tell which tears were his soulmate’s and which were his. And it was in that moment that Kai walked in, alarm showing on his face as soon as he noticed the state Taehyun was in.

“Shit, Hyun, what is it? What’s happening? Is he hurting himself again?” Kai was next to him in a moment checking him for any injuries.

Taehyun stopped him, taking his hands with his own shaking ones. “No, it was me this time. I hurt him. He found out about me and Bam. Kai I don’t know what to d-do…He’s not letting me t-talk to him. Kai, he’s probably all alone now and I don’t k-know what to do.” He was just babbling at that point but he couldn’t even think in his panic.

So Kai took it into his hands, it being the eyeliner and he wrote in big letters on Taehyun’s hand BREATHE and with one hand held Taehyun’s hand in front of him and the other he pressed to Taehyun’s chest right where his heart was. Taehyun looked at him with wide eyes and Kai could notice him trying to steady his breathing. But he didn’t do it only for Taehyun. He reached across the connection and looked at Soobin. His heart hurt for the older and he hoped the other would notice the writing and the hand firmly pressed to Taehyun’s chest. Thankfully he did and it seemed to ground him some. While Taehyun was still steadying his breathing Kai gently held his cheek. “Calm down, everything will be fine. You just need to contact him and talk it out. I promise it’s not worth all these tears okay? Just talk to him.” Kai silently muttered and then he felt something from where his hand rested on Taehyun’s cheek. Some sort of a shift in the connection. It was as if he really was touching Soobin not Taehyun. The sensation shocked him and he dropped his hand.

Taehyun was brought to from the haze of his panic by Kai’s mutterings. But somehow it felt as if they weren’t directed to him. Nonetheless he felt it applied to him as well and when he felt Kai’s hand abruptly drop he picked up the pencil but as if his soulmate actually heard Kai, writing started appearing on his skin. And while he was in the middle of answering Kai looked at him and said: “I think I can help you if he stops talking again.” Which temporarily distracted him but he continued writing again. And while he was trying to talk to his soulmate he asked, “What do you mean, how?” But getting through to his soulmate was getting harder and harder and the pressure he applied on the pen was getting too much and Taehyun could feel tears prickling in his eyes again.

“Please, Kai. Help me.”

Kai looked at Taehyun and his heart tore, and then he looked at Soobin and it was almost getting to be too much. “It could be dangerous Hyun. I think I could even break your bond. Are you willing to risk it?” He would hate himself if his fears came to life but they both obviously needed help and how could he refuse. When Taehyun just frantically nodded without thinking twice he took it as that final push.

He came closer to Taehyun and hugged him tightly making sure there was maximum contact between them. He could feel Taehyun stiffen in confusion but he couldn’t allow any distractions so he blocked out anything aside from their connection. He searched for what he felt earlier and when he found it he tried to spread it through the whole connection. He had to be careful he wasn’t bending it so much that it broke. He thought he managed to do what he wanted but he couldn’t make sure because exiting the bubble could result in him losing focus and accidentally breaking the bond. So he waited. He wasn’t sure how exactly it would manifest, how much closer they’d get. But he remembers reading something about these types of bonds and the way they could develop. He would have to explore it more so he could help them better.

When Taehyun finally tapped him a few times on the back to let him now he could stop, he slowly let go of the connection, making sure it slowly and gently goes back to its original state. Only when he started to focus back on his surroundings did he notice that everything was blurry and he was shaking.

On the other side Taehyun noticed Kai shaking early on and tried to make it as quick as possible. Of course he wanted to talk more to his soulmate but Kai was his priority. When he let him go and Taehyun focused back into his body he was shocked to see Kai on the brink of passing out. “Kai! Hey are you still here with me? You shouldn’t have done it if it was going to hurt you idiot.” He gently shook him and Kai took some time to focus back on reality. Taehyun hurried to their stock of sweets and brought back a chocolate hoping it would give Kai some energy. Kai’s movements were slow and clumsy but he managed to eat some of the chocolate. It took five more minutes for Kai’s eyes to clear, finally responding to Taehyun. “Well first of all I didn’t know how it would affect me; second, at least I helped. Now tell me what exactly happened.”

Taehyun felt like yelling a bit more at Kai for being so reckless but knew it would only serve in making Kai feel bad so he restrained himself. “I don’t know exactly. It was like I was him but also me? If that makes any sense? I could hear him and talk to him. How did you even do that?”

Kai looked deep in thought for a minute. “Hmm… It actually makes perfect sense. And I mean it’s pretty abstract I can’t really explain well but imagine if you had a bond like Yeonjun and I basically pulled on it and brought you closer. At least I think. I will have to go do some reading on it. See if any seer before me had similar experiences.”

Taehyun was still slightly confused so he hoped Kai would find more answers. He knew seers, as few as they were, had a network across the world and most of them recorded their experiences in written form and Kai once told him there was a metaphysical dimension in which bonds existed where all of their knowledge was stored. At first it sounded insane to Taehyun but with the way Kai’s knowledge of all things soulmate grew he had no choice but to accept is as truth. He still remembers when a much younger Kai joined Taehyun and Yeonjun at lunch one time and excitedly announced: “I learned I should be able to touch bonds” and then spent the next few days trying to grasp Yeonjun’s bond and the triumphant look he had on his face when he finally succeeded. When they asked him how he learned about it he said it came to him in a dream. Later down the line Kai explained that it was his misunderstanding of what exactly happened but that it was still the most accurate description.

Back to present Kai still expected an answer about how the situation was handled. “He agreed to meet me on Monday.” Taehyun saw no point in beating around the bush. Not with Kai at least.

Kai seemed a bit shocked until his eyes once again lost focus and he paled. Taeyhun’s hands were on him quickly, cupping his face and trying to regain his attention. “Kai, what is it? Can you talk to me?”

Kai just let out a whimper closing his eyes, a painful grimace on his face. “Shit, Hyun it hurts. I’ll be fine but it just hurts so much.” His breathing was shallow.

Taehyun couldn’t do much more but to hug him tightly hoping whatever it was would pass soon. After a while Kai completely stilled and Taehyun noticed he wasn’t responsive which meant he passed out.

And Taehyun couldn’t help but feel guilty. He had a pretty good guess about just how much the earlier feat took from Kai and considering how he described his premonitions it was most probably what happened. He shouldn’t have asked Kai for help. He should’ve thought about it more clearly and refused because if he had thought about it for more than a second he would’ve realized it would affect Kai so much. Just how much did his friend have to suffer because of his carelessness?

He just hoped it would all be worth it in the end and that his soulmate wouldn’t change his mind. And there was a sliver of hope in Taehyun because if Kai did have a premonition it could very well be about him and his soulmate which would mean they would meet. It was all he could hope for if he didn’t want to spiral into his own negative thoughts.

* * *

As Taehyun was getting ready to go to work the next morning he was surprised by Bam messaging him. He actually wanted to talk to him but completely forgot with everything that happened with Kai. What was even more surprising was the request to call. It worried him a bit since it could be an emergency so not wasting any time he dialed the number.

He felt relief when he was met with the surprisingly deep voice of Bam that assured him that there was nothing wrong. A thought that came into his head at that moment was that he didn’t need Bam anymore since his soulmate decided to meet him so he told him expecting to hear some relief. He was surprised when the other saw through the false confidence he was putting up.

And when Bam asked him about his plans that evening he was already suspicious so when later that day Yeonjun asked him to accompany him to a concert Taehyun knew they were planning something. Maybe Bam wanted to meet him. Here’s how it went down.

Somehow Yeonjun found out when he was done at work and waited in front of the faculty building. When Taehyun asked him what he was doing there Yeonjun responded with, “I think it’s a shame you don’t go around showing off what my magic hands did to your hair so I’m taking you out with me. Now you’re coming with me to my place to get ready because I know you don’t have any decent party clothes.” Taehyun was left no choice but to follow.

Once they were at Yeonjun’s the said man got to digging through the black hole that was his closet and took a good hour before he produced a few outfits for both of them. Taehyun was just on his phone to pass the time. That was until Yeonjun forced him to try on a few outfits but after each one said there was something missing. Honestly Taehyun was getting a bit annoyed after the third. But then as if a light bulb went off in Yeonjun’s head he grinned and took the purple pants from outfit two and the plaid shirt from outfit one and picked up a white shirt that looked nowhere big enough for Taehyun.

When Yeonjun handed him what was obviously a crop top Taehyun was left speechless. The rest of the outfit was alright but that damn crop top. “I am not wearing that hyung. It looks uncomfortable and it’s freezing out.”

Yeonjun just smirked. “C’mon Tae, you’ve been working out so much it would be a crime for all of that hard work to go to waste-“

“I’m working out to stay fit not to go around parading my muscles.” Taehyun tried explaining himself but Yeonjun cut him off.

“And it won’t be cold inside and a jacket will keep you warm until we get there.” Taehyun wanted to defend himself further but before he could say anything Yeonjun continued, “Look I’ll be wearing one myself and if you happen to really feel uncomfortable you can always tie your shirt in front and nothing will be visible. It’s not that short.”

And Taehyun knew there was no fighting Yeonjun once he set his mind on something. “Now go change so we can style your hair, paint your nails and put on some makeup and accessories.”

Taehyun’s head already started hurting just form the hearing everything Yeonjun wanted to do to him. “Ugh, why is it necessary to paint my nails?” He complained while he changed.

He could hear Yeonjun scoffing. “It’s a rock concert, of course we have to paint your nails.”

Taehyun rolled his eyes. Yeonjun just always had to go all the way when it came to fashion and if Taehyun was with him he always dragged him into it. But going all out once in a while wasn’t so bad, or so Taehyun thought. The major reason he was annoyed was because Yeonjun hadn’t warned him.

After everything was done Taehyun couldn’t say he was displeased with the result. He wasn’t as uncomfortable as he thought he would be and having Yeonjun in a tight cropped tank top over which he had a black, very see-through, long sleeved sweater that was just a bit longer than the top paired with bright red plaid pants made him feel a bit better. And somehow the star shaped glitter Yeonjun applied to Taehyun’s cheekbones made him unreasonably happy.

While they were driving to their destination Taehyun couldn’t help but wonder. He was pretty sure they were going to meet Bam there, which probably meant he would be ditched halfway through so that the soulmates could have fun on their own. “I wish you had invited Kai. That way I would at least have some company when you eventually ditch me.” He thought out loud.

Yeonjun had a knowing smile on his face. “Don’t worry I’ll be with you through most of the concert and I did invite Kai, he’s already waiting for us there.”

Taehyun’s eyes widened. “He’s already there? How come? And he didn’t have to go through the torture you put me through? How is that fair?” He whined a bit to which Yeonjun just laughed.

“Oh he did. I did his hair, makeup and nails before I came to get you because he had a lesson to give right before the concert so I told him the address and he said he’ll wait for us there.”

Taehyun felt the slightest bit relieved. Kai was always a calming presence to him so if he really did end up meeting Bam he preferred it to be with Kai by his side.

As they neared their destination he noticed Yeonjun fidgeting more and more. So he really was up to something.

True to his word Kai was already in front of the retro style diner-turned-concert-venue. And Yeonjun wasn’t lying when he said he gave Kai the same treatment as he did to Taehyun. And Yeonjun really knew how to bring out the mysterious fairy boy side of Kai to life. “I see you too weren’t spared the Yeonjun makeover, Hyun.” He joked to which Yeonjun just gave him a side eye. “What? Do you think it wasn’t weird for me to walk into that kid’s lesson with a face full of makeup, hyung? His older sister even tried flirting with me. Imagine the embarrassment.” Kai whined.

Yeonjun rolled his eyes. “I don’t see the problem. And yes, keep making me out to be the villain for making sure you two look drop dead gorgeous once in a while.” He said while he took out his phone. After typing for a bit he pocketed it back and turned to Kai and Taehyun. “Let’s just head inside.”

They walked in and took off their jackets. Taehyun was surprised by just how much familiar people there were. It was like half the campus was there. So he and Kai were stopped by more than a few people and exchanged some small talk. Taehyun had also gotten more than a few compliments for his outfit and hair. But what was even more surprising was that Yeonjun barely knew anyone. If he was stopped it was by people who followed his youtube channel. Once they were on their own again Taehyun couldn’t help but ask, “Why are we even here hyung?” And when he answered, “What do you mean? It’s a concert we’re here for the music.” Taehyun saw the look of feigned ignorance on his face. “Don’t give me that. You didn’t even tell me what the band plays, and you never go to these kinds of things unprompted.”

But before Yeonjun could answer the band appeared on the stage and gave their opening ment. So they were a Day6 cover band. At least the music would be good. And as every member was introduced Taehyun heard a surprised wow from Yeonjun and then he turned to Taehyun and said. “He’s why we’re here.”

Taehyun looked at the stage and saw the gray haired lead guitarist wearing bold black lipstick being introduced as Choi Beomgyu. So he was right. They were here to meet Yeonjun’s soulmate. As he observed him he thought to himself how Beomgyu was nothing like how he imagined him. His vibe was dark and serious. And it was just Yeonjun’s luck he had a soulmate that matched Yeonjun’s visuals.

Taehyun tried to enjoy the music as much as he could to get his mind off of what would inevitably happen but then he heard lyrics that shot straight into his worries and insecurities.

_Say you don’t want it_

_Don’t even dream it_

_Tell me we won’t meet_

_Say it_

By the end of the song he felt as if someone took all of his emotions and poured them into a song. He could feel tears prick at his eyes but he held them in if for nothing than to not ruin the makeup Yeonjun put a lot of effort in.

He couldn’t make himself get lost in the music after and when the first set was done he was thankful when Yeonjun pulled both him and Kai aside. “We’re going upstairs and Beomgyu will come meet us.”

Thankfully they found an empty booth and sat. But something strange was that Yeonjun was still very fidgety. It didn’t sit right with Taehyun. A couple of minutes later Taehyun realized why.

Their attention was caught by the completely black clad Beomgyu who strode toward their table. But Taehyun knew that would happen. It was expected. What he didn’t expect, however, was the tall lilac haired man walking with Beomgyu. All air was knocked out of Taehyun as he glanced at Yeonjun who finally stopped masking the guilt in his eyes. They set them up.

Taehyun didn’t even have time to process whether he was thankful or angry because Beomgyu and Soobin were there introducing themselves and when did Taehyun even get up.

Deciding now was not the time for processing emotions he observed his soulmate and couldn’t help the excitement that rushed through him when he noticed Soobin’s eyes on himself. Suddenly he was extremely grateful that Yeonjun made him dress up.

And he was completely taken by his soulmate’s body. He had never seen the other in form fitting clothes and now he was thankful he didn’t wear something like that every day. He could have never imagined just how godly his body proportions were. The high belt accentuated his small waist and the way that the harness hugged his thigh was just sinful. Taehyun was sure he’d have that image stuck in his head for a week at least.

But despite how much he looked like a whole different person than the usual quiet Soobin Taehyun knew from his classes, he could see the shy smile and nervousness coming off of him. Especially when he sat opposite of him and Taehyun could feel his leg shake. For a brief moment he wondered if he had figured out Taehyun was his soulmate but quickly dismissed that thought because he was doubtful the other would be there if he knew.

He would be thankful to Kai for distracting him if it wasn’t for the embarrassment he felt because of Kai boasting about him as if he was his older brother or something. It was as if he was pimping him out to his own soulmate. Kind of ridiculous if you ask Taehyun.

After that, he tried to stay included in the conversation mostly led by Yeonjun and Beomgyu. At least until Beomgyu had to go. He was surprised when Soobin was unresponsive to his friend and he turned to look at him only to find Soobin’s eyes fixated on his face. Put simply it made him feel as if someone had set him on fire.

And when Beomgyu left, the conversation shifted to Soobin which Taehyun really didn’t like. First of all because it felt rude and second because he could feel Soobin growing more and more nervous.

He felt sorry for the older because everyone at the table was in on the secret and could constantly have the upper hand in any conversation. He didn’t have to worry about Kai abusing that power but the problem was Yeonjun who had no such reservations. Taeyhun knew Yeonjun wasn’t the biggest fan of his soulmate but to think he would be so merciless in questioning him. But as angry as he had been at Yeonjun at least thanks to him he found out what happened in those two years Soobin ghosted him. And his heart hurt a bit for the older, knowing he had to suffer alone while he was out trying to get over him. But even that didn’t excuse Yeonjun’s behavior.

When he felt Soobin’s heart rate picking up and the finger tapping, he almost hit Yeonjun under the table but suppressed the urge in case he accidentally ended up hitting Soobin. But suddenly Yeonjun’s expression changed and he could see traces of pity in his eyes. Which was immediately followed by the stupidest combo YeonKai could come up with, that being telling Soobin about Kai’s abilities. See, Taehyun knew Soobin wasn’t dumb enough not to connect the dots and realize Kai knew he was lying about his soulmate bond. And lo and behold, it resulted in another spike of panic and anxiety. This time he had to intervene, hoping Yeonjun would finally drop the topic of soulmates when they headed downstairs.

He couldn’t blame Soobin when he tried to find an excuse to get away from them for a bit but then Kai had to go and open up his stupid mouth, not letting Soobin go alone. Taehyun glared at him for a moment feeling like giving him a good slap but then Kai got a bit closer and whispered in his ear, “Don’t worry Hyun, I got this. I want to make him feel better too.” And Taehyun had no choice but to believe him because before he could even react the two were gone.

That left him to redirect his anger at Yeonjun.

“What the fuck was that hyung? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable you made him? Because I do and I really feel like punching your face for it.”

Yeonjun was evidently taken aback by Taehyun’s violence which, truth be told, was strangely uncharacteristic for him but this was his soulmate they were talking about. He had every right. Yeonjun at least looked a bit guilty. “Listen Tae, I wanted to get you some information about him. I admit I didn’t do it in the best way. I’m sorry. I’m also going to apologize to him when they return. I know I never really talked fondly about your soulmate but meeting him now made me change my mind. I finally realized he needs help. Help that only you can provide. I’m sorry for not realizing sooner.”

Taehyun could tell he was being sincere so he couldn’t keep a grudge even if he tried to. He was still pissed off at the older a bit but for a different reason. “And what was with the whole “my brother Kai and HIS best friend” introduction. I’m YOUR best friend. I think I deserve to be introduced as such.”

Yeonjun just smiled sheepishly “Didn’t know if I deserved to call you that after the stunt I pulled. Sorry.”

Something old and ugly stirred in Taehyun. He ignored it. “You’re such an idiot hyung, of course you deserve it. I’ll always be your best friend.”

He thought he heard Yeonjun mutter something but he couldn’t hear it from the loud music so he continued. “Besides, you brought me to my soulmate. How could I ever be angry at you for that? You’ve let me meet him and see him and talk to him. I was confused at first but I realized I’m so grateful to you for that. So thank you.”

And he meant it. The initial whirlwind of emotions he went through died down and now the only thing left was happiness. Even if Soobin didn’t know he was his soulmate just knowingly being in his presence was enough to make Taehyun happy.

Yeonjun seemed to relax a bit. “I just hope it won’t screw with your bond somehow. That’s what I’m scared about the most.”

And yeah, Taehyun could see the reasoning behind that. But it could also just be that being close to a seer and knowing things most people didn’t screwed with their perception a bit. “You and me both. But I choose to believe it won’t.”

After that they enjoyed the music, Yeonjun not being able to stop himself from dancing, as usual. When the other two returned Taehyun felt extremely relieved that Soobin looked much more relaxed and carefree. He grabbed Kai’s arm to pull him closer while Yeonjun and Soobin were talking and leaned to whisper in his ear. “I don’t know what you did but thank you.” Kai just winked with a happy smile and then the conversation spread to include all of them.

Throughout the night Beomgyu came and went but Taehyun could barely pay any attention to anyone else besides his soulmate. With worries lifted off his shoulders he was just so warm and bright Taehyun was sure he was made of pure sunlight. His dimpled smile every time he smiled, his eyes forming small crescents when shared funny stories about his and Beomgyu’s childhood. The impish smile that appeared each time Beomgyu was around and he teased him. It all made Taehyun feel slightly lightheaded and made him fall all the more for him. They all ended up drinking a bit through the night (except Yeonjun who was their designated driver) but Taehyun didn’t even need the alcohol because he was drunk off the happiness of being in his soulmate’s presence.

And the time to part came way to early Taehyun felt like latching onto Soobin and never letting go but that meant touching him and all of his efforts to make sure there was no physical contact between them throughout the night would be rendered useless. In his tipsy state he almost considered just coming clean to Soobin but he was sound enough to know it wouldn’t be a good idea.

It was made even worse when Soobin was the first to go and refused Yeonjun’s offer of driving him home. Afterwards Taehyun’s mood dipped rapidly so it wasn’t long before Yeonjun ushered him into his car along with Kai and Beomgyu, being the good soulmate he was, accompanied them. As far as Taehyun knew they planned on returning to the party that started once the concert was done.

And when they were in front of his and Kai’s building he leaned forward toward Beomgyu who was riding shotgun. “Hey, Beomgyu-hyung, I just wanted to thank you for this. And thank you for being by his side all this time.”

Beomgyu’s black lipstick was till surprisingly pristine (something Taehyun was sure was bound to change as soon as he and Yeonjun were left alone) and when he smiled his white teeth created a stunning contrast with his black lips. “There is no need to thank me. Don’t forget I’m his best friend first and your helper second, so I’m doing all of this for him. I just want what’s best for him.”

It left Taehyun eternally grateful for the existence of one Choi Beomgyu.

When they were back in their apartment Taehyun asked Kai something that’s been on his mind for the most of the night. “Did you know about their plan?”

Kai didn’t look at him as he was busy taking off his shoes. “They didn’t tell me anything.”

Taehyun was satisfied with that answer as his tipsy mind failed to pick up on the intentional vagueness of that statement.

Later while he was falling asleep he neither could nor wanted to get his mind off of a pair of lips with the most perfect cupid’s bow, deep dimples, and that damned harness. Monday couldn’t come faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know I said last chapter that angst picks up from this chapter but I obviously didn't deliver. I mean there's a bit angst if you squint and read between the lines so...  
> Anyway be prepard for the shitstorm that'll come raining next chapter. Honestly I sometimes wish I wasn't writing this so Taehyun wouldn't have to go through all of this pain but oh well. As I said higher powers than me are in charge of this fic I lost all control long ago haha
> 
> See you next week (:
> 
> P.S. I've opened a cc in case you want to talk or ask me anything I'll link it bellow (guess who learned how to use hyperlinks :D)
> 
> P.S.S. The song that got Taehyun right in the feels is I wait by Day6(obv) and I didn't even plan it but the lyrics are just so perfect for this fic (that's why this chapter is named after it)


	14. KITTEN Part 5: Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, it's finally here
> 
> So fair warning if you're not into smut but still here you can skip to the first divider you already know what happens this is just from Taehyun's pov
> 
> Anyway,
> 
> I am extremly conflicted about Yeonjun's character in this story and the way he processes stuff but I promise we (and by that me) are going to work on it (it being his thickheadedness)
> 
> ngl I shed some tears writing this so yeah
> 
> enjoy

_Taehyun recently found a recipe he wanted to try out so here he was in the kitchen, the base already cooking while he cut up the vegetables. Ever since Yeonjun thought him how to cook he experimented more and more in the kitchen, enjoying the smiling faces of the people he loved when he presented them with the finished products. He found he had a natural talent in mixing the ingredients so they would make the most delightful combinations._

_Suddenly he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist, a chin staring to dig into his shoulder “What are you making Kitten? It already smells delicious.”_

_Taehyun gasped at the familiar voice “Soobinnie! I thought you had classes ‘till six? Did you ditch again?”_

_He could feel the older giggle behind him, and his hold on Taehyun tightened just the tiniest bit “Well, what can I do when I just missed you so much.” He said, nuzzling into the crook of Taehyun’s neck._

_Taehyun let out a disbelieving sigh. He was a TA, he shouldn’t be this endeared by someone skipping class “Very bold of you to admit that while I’m holding a knife.” He jokingly threatened._

_Soobin just let out a bright laugh that was pure music to Taehyun’s ears, and then planted a small kiss on Taehyun’s cheek. “Don’t worry Kitten, I didn’t, in fact, skip. They let us out earlier.”_

_That made Taehyun slightly relax and he released a low hum. Soobin’s graduation was fast approaching and he wouldn’t let the older slack off._

_Soobin didn’t say anything else but he also stayed firmly attached to Taehyun who didn’t mind it until he had to move around the kitchen and Soobin still wasn’t letting him go. After a while it got tiring moving around with the giant stuck on his back. “Bunny…Could you let me go, I need to finish the meal so we can eat.”_

_But Soobin was immovable. And not only that but Taehyun started feeling small kisses being left on his neck. “Don’t wanna…” Soobin whined against his neck, “I really did miss you a lot.”He said between the small kisses._

_Taehyun couldn’t help the fond smile on his lips “You idiot. You can literally feel me all the time through the bond. I’m literally with you all the time.”_

_Soobin just continued peppering him in light kisses. “I knoooow….but it’s not the same”, he whined, “I need to be touching you, it’s so bad Tyun. I do feel you all the time but there’s nothing better than having you in my arms. It’s your own fault for being so addictive.” The small kisses turned longer and Taehyun knew he was blushing like crazy and that Soobin could very well feel his quickened heartbeat._

_He didn’t know just how much longer he would be able to take Soobin’s ministrations on his neck, “C’mon Bunny… please… just let me finish. I bet we’re both hungry and I made sure this will be delicious.”_

_And then Soobin nipped him right below his right ear, right where he was the most sensitive. He knew Soobin knew that. And then he spoke right in his ear, his voice dropping an octave. “I have absolutely no doubt that it will turn out good but you are so much more delicious.” Soobin then, being the insufferable sexy bastard he was, went back to the same spot and started gently sucking, tongue lapping at his skin and Taehyun all but moaned._

_It only seemed to spur Soobin more as the arms that were wrapped around Taehyun’s waist quickly untied his apron and found their way under his shirt and explored his body, often dipping too close to the top of his sweatpants. Everywhere he touched it was like living fire and all the while he continued to suck purple marks into Taehyun’s neck._

_And when one of those hands brushed against his nipple he couldn’t stop the lewd moan from escaping.”Ahhh…Fuck…Bunny….” It was what tipped him over and he found the strength to turn around and come face to face with Soobin._

_He looked at the face of his boyfriend. He looked at his soulmate. At the love of his life. His brain noted every single detail of his face. The washed out purple strands that were pushed to the side to reveal the perfectly shaped eyebrows. The deep dimples that always had a way of showing even if the older wasn’t smiling. The perfect cupid’s bow of those perfect pink lips. And the wolfish eyes that looked at him with so much hunger and lust. With something that bordered on desperation._

_And looking at him from up close like this Taehyun felt just so much love for the older. It was overflowing. And he could do nothing else aside from leaning close and pressing their lips in wild abandon._

_One of his hands found the way to the purple strands while the other settled on the small of Soobin’s back, bringing him closer. It wasn’t close enough. The taller ravaged Taehyun’s mouth with his tongue and Taehyun was putty in his hands. Air was an afterthought. They were both desperate and needy. Taehyun may have had a few partners in his past but there was never anything close to the pure hunger he felt toward Soobin._

_Taehyun felt himself being lifted on the counter and he barely registered his head bumping into the cupboards above while he felt Soobin situating himself between his legs. There was only a continuous ringing of ‘Soobin...more…closer…’ in his head, the meal he was preparing long forgotten._

_Soobin all but tore away the already untied apron so he could have more freedom in letting his hands explore Taehyun’s body. And as the hands settled on his chest, Soobin pulled the crazy stunt of simultaneously biting into Taehyun’s lower lip and pinching his nipples. Taehyun moaned loudly right into Soobin’s mouth who was more than happy to swallow the beautiful sound._

_In return, Taehyun pulled on the strands at the nape of Soobin’s neck just the way he knew left Soobin breathless. It earned him what he wished for. A moan vibrating on his lips._

_He almost whined when Soobin detached their lips but was stopped by the slick kisses being left on his neck, a trail of purple marks being left wherever Soobin went. His hands were still fervently sliding across Taehyun’s body that he was almost scared his shirt would rip. When Soobin reached the collar of his shirt he knew the older had had enough of the pesky piece of fabric and soon Taehyun’s shirt was discarded who knows where. Taehyun couldn’t care._

_“So beautiful… You’re so perfect Kitten…And you’re all mine… I love you so much.” Soobin muttered along his skin and Taehyun knew his mind was almost completely gone._

_“Love you too Bunny….so much…” And when the older gave a long lick to the strip of skin right above the edge of his already-low-hanging pants Taehyun could feel that last bit of sanity leaving him. “A-ahhh… Bunny…p-please…”_

_Soobin was more than happy to oblige and made quick work of Taehyun’s sweatpants and boxers letting Taehyun’s painfully hard length spring out. He smirked. The bastard smirked. “Aren’t you eager Kitten?”_

_“Shut up. Like you aren’t equally as hard-“ Taehyun’s retort was interrupted when Soobin gave his length a long lick from the base all the way to the top._

_Taehyun saw stars._

_Soobin swirled his tongue on the head, dipping into his slit right before he lowered his head and swallowed most of Taehyun’s length._

_It was too much for Taehyun. He felt like he wouldn’t last long as he closed his eyes trying to stop himself from cumming right away._

When he opened his eyes he wasn’t on the kitchen counter. He was in his bed. Alone. With an almost painful hard-on.

“Fuck”

It was all a dream, specifics already slipping from his memory.

“Fuuck.”

He felt like screaming and crying out and cursing out the fact he had to wake up. Not only was he incredibly uncomfortable but now he had to go take a cold shower (which he hated) to not make Soobin even more uncomfortable than he already probably was.

First of all he checked the time. If it was early enough Soobin could still be sleeping. Alas the clock read that it was almost noon. Well, he doubted Soobin was still asleep even if they went to their homes at about the same time. He decided there was no harm in at least apologizing. If Soobin was actually still asleep he had nothing to worry about and if he wasn’t it was the least he deserved.

_Sorry Bunny…I just woke up…I’m going to take a cold shower to get rid of it don’t worry._

He wrote out and waited, praying that the universe would take pity on him and that Soobin was still sleeping. But when has the universe ever taken pity on him. The letters appeared on his hand.

_Kitten…it’s okay…I know you haven’t in a while….so feel free….I’m alone and have nowhere to be so it won’t bother me_

The words barely registered in Taehyun’s brain. Maybe the universe hadn’t taken pity on him but it seemed like Soobin had. He couldn’t escape the way he always felt when he asked Soobin if it was okay so he hesitantly asked

_You sure?_

A response came almost instantly

_Yeah, if you want_

Soobin was honestly too good to him. So the hesitance slowly disappeared as he shakily wrote out an

_Okay_

The previous heat overtook him once again as he closed his eyes and his hand slipped down till it found the aching hard-on. Soobin was right, he hasn’t really done anything for some time and all of those hormones piled up. He had no idea how Soobin could keep himself from doing anything about it.

As soon as he closed his eyes dream Soobin appeared in front of him, every detail completely clear for Taehyun to look at. But somehow it felt wrong. This wasn’t the real Soobin. He had no idea how the real Soobin would act in this situation. Taehyun’s mind unhelpfully wondered what the real Soobin was doing in that moment.

Was he just lying there? Taehyun couldn’t feel the others hand like how he occasionally could.

Another thing he couldn’t feel as much as he focused were any clothes on the lower part of his soulmate’s body. Was he naked?

Was he just lying in his bed, naked, willing himself not to touch? Was there a blush high on his cheeks and the tips of his ears? Taehyun could imagine him. And the image did things to him the dream Soobin never could.

And as if the heavens (or more like the pits of hell) have finally smiled upon Taehyun he felt Soobin leaving small letters on his right hand.

_Kitten… Do you want any help?_

Upon reading those words Taehyun had to do a double take and make sure he didn’t just wake up into another dream. When he made sure it was all really happening he was almost pushed over the edge. He tightened the hold on his base to stop himself from finishing just from that. He didn’t know where he found the strength to answer

_Please…Bunny…_

He didn’t know what to expect but a few moments passed and Soobin wasn’t doing anything. Taehyun feared he gave up the idea. After all it wasn’t something Soobin would normally do. Or it could be he just didn’t know what to do due to his inexperience.

After a few more moments, in which Taehyun debated if he should send a message to Soobin or not, he felt something cold coating Soobin’s fingers. Was it what he thought it was? Did Soobin even know how to use it? His doubts were eating him away as he trembled with excitement of what all of it possibly meant.

_What are you doing_

His answer came in the form of a slicked up finger probing around his hole and slipping in with ease. And as soon as it did it his every sense heightened and he couldn’t stop the moans from spilling from his lips. And Soobin continued thrusting in the finger into his tight hole and Taehyun could barely breathe. “A-aah…Bunny...”

And this time he had gotten a response, the deep voice of his soulmate only contributing to the fire that was burning in Taehyun. “Kitten…W-what is happening?”

Only then did he notice the unsteady breath of the other and the low moans he let out. There was nothing he wanted more than to be there with him but this was still so much more than he could imagine. “I don’t know Bunny but please…don’t stop…”

He knew he sounded desperate but the familiar stretch that each added finger provided him with made him lose his mind just a bit more. And then the stretch disappeared. Taehyun wondered what Soobin was doing for a moment but then remembered he could just check. When he opened his eyes he could see Soobin’s hands working at lubing up a dildo.

‘He’s actually insane if he puts it inside himself.’ Taehyun remembered that this was the first time Soobin was experiencing something like this on himself. So to try and make it easier for him he returned his hand to his own neglected cock.

He thought about saying something but before he could Soobin lined up the dildo with his hole and slowly pushed in. Only when it was all the way in he felt Soobin stop to take a breath, his legs trembling. That was his chance.

“You okay Bunny? It could be too much for the first time.” He didn’t intend to sound condescending but it seemed like Soobin took it as if he was making fun of him.

“Don’t you worry your head about it Kitten.” was the response he got and before he could even attempt to explain himself Soobin started to move the toy inside him and another wave of moans spilled from their mouths, the low and high moans mixing in a sinful melody.

“Ahh…fuck Bunny… how…aaah...how are you so good at this?” Taehyun let slip his thoughts in between the moans.

He was surprise by the slight anger he felt in the older’s voice “You gave me enough experience Kitten.” but it was understandable.

Taehyun would normally feel bad but the thought of Soobin feeling everything every time he was fucked by his hook ups, just bearing it all in silent anger as he felt just how much of a slut Taehyun was, turned him on even more. Something he didn’t know he had in him possessing him as a smirk formed on his lips. “I bet you were jealous. I bet that every single time you wished it was you fucking me.”

His words had the desired effect of riling up Soobin even more as he angled the toy and hit square into his prostate, bringing a whole new world of pleasure to Taehyun as he kept abusing the sensitive spot. Taehyun couldn’t differentiate between their bodies anymore.

Soon the knot in his stomach tightened as he kept spilling “Fuck…Bunny…you’re so good…ahhh…don’t stop….I’m almost there…” over and over again. And when he heard Soobin say he was close he did what he knew would push them both over the edge. He took his neglected cock and pumped a few times.

As he was spilling his cum all over his hand he didn’t even think to stop the moan.

“Soobinnie…”

He didn’t even realize his mistake until he came down from his high. All he knew was that they were no longer connected. He didn’t even know when it stopped.

He could only hope Soobin didn’t hear him call out his name.

* * *

That hope dwindled as the day went on.

When Taehyun finally felt sane enough to get up first of all he cleaned up the mess he made and then he went and checked if Kai was home. He would be very embarrassed if Kai had heard him. Thankfully he didn’t seem to be anywhere in the apartment. Taehyun even noticed a note on the fridge.

Didn’t want to wake you up so I’m just letting you know I’ll be at the animal shelter for the most of the day.

Well at least it gave Taehyun time to calm himself down and get himself together. First of all he forced himself to eat something even if he felt sick just thinking about food. His brain needed energy to think straight so he forced down a cup of instant ramen.

Afterwards he spent most of the day drowning himself in whatever work he could do from home and doing some research for his PhD thesis. Sometimes that was what was needed to calm him down and at least he was productive.

It was already dark out when he gathered enough courage to message Soobin. And he waited and waited but there was no response. He tried a few more times throughout the evening but the result was the same every time. The dread of the very high probability that Soobin had heard him say his name was settling in Taehyun’s body. He majorly screwed up. And it was because of the way they connected again. Taehyun didn’t really give much thought about it in the heat of the moment but now that he had nothing better to do than let his mind wander it was all he could think about. How was it even possible?

He needed answers and once Kai was back home he waited a bit before carefully asking “Hey, Kai… You know the thing you did to me and Soobin on Thursday? Is it possible it could happen on its own?”

Kai looked at him suspiciously. Taehyun knew he wasn’t the best at lying but he had to know. “Why? Did it happen on its own?”

Taehyun put on his best poker face. “No…I was just wondering.”

Kai narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t call him out. “Well I’m not a hundred percent sure. If it does happen tell me immediately okay?”

Taehyun gulped but nodded. He hated lying but he couldn’t deal with explaining the whole situation to Kai and even if he could he would still be way too embarrassed to talk about it with Kai.

So he settled on waiting for Soobin to at least say something. He had a hard time falling asleep that night.

When he woke up the next morning he routinely checked his work mail and saw that an assignment due for next week was handed in. He was used to people doing it at the last minute but there were always a few people who liked to hand it in earlier, to get feedback or just to be done with it.

And the sender was none other than Choi Soobin. Taehyun held his breath as he checked when it was sent. The little time stamp read three in the morning. Why the hell was Soobin up so late?

Taehyun skimmed over it quickly knowing he wasn’t focused enough to send any substantial feedback but the bits he did read all seemed perfectly fine. His jittery fingers couldn’t wait to reach for a pen and see if he would have any more success that day.

But he didn’t.

Every now and then he would try and contact Soobin but it was all in vain. The older just didn’t respond.

* * *

By the time Monday rolled around Taehyun started losing hope that Soobin would show up in class. And Kai started noticing something was terribly wrong.

That morning Taehyun had to fend off the questioning gazes Kai threw him while they were getting ready for the day and they only intensified while they were on their way to the class. Taehyun was surprised Kai didn’t actually say anything but it seemed the younger gave him space to bring it up himself. Well he probably won’t hold back when he sees that Soobin won’t come to class.

At least that’s what he thought.

Once they entered the classroom every thought about Kai’s curiosity disappeared from Taehyun’s mind because his eyes automatically went to the upper rows where he saw him. Choi Soobin. He was sitting in his usual seat. Taehyun could not believe his eyes. Not only was he there but he seemed to also have dressed up. It made Taehyun’s heart skip a beat. Maybe the situation wasn’t as hopeless as he had thought.

But then he met his eyes. And all his hope crumbled.

Soobin looked tired. He looked anxious. He looked scared. And all of it covered by a layer of haziness like he barely even registered his surroundings.

Before Taehyun could even think about what to do Kai gently pulled him up the stairs as he joined Soobin while Taehyun settled in row behind them. He could hear Kai’s unsuccessful attempt to start a conversation with the older but he didn’t seem too eager to respond and when the professor started with the class, Kai had no other choice but to shut up.

Taehyun resorted to trying to get Soobin’s attention by the tiny messages he wrote on his arm but he gave up because the older didn’t even glance at them. He tried asking if Soobin was still okay with them meeting but of course the older didn’t respond.

When the break rolled around Kai tried striking conversation with Soobin once again but he was just brushed off when Soobin excused himself to the toilet.

As soon as Soobin was out of earshot Kai turned to him, a look on his face that was the closest he could get to looking angry. “Taehyun. What happened? Why is he like this, he looked fine on Friday. What the fuck happened to him? He looks broken.”  
  


Taehyun didn’t know what to say. He definitely wasn’t going to tell everything to Kai right there, if anywhere. He couldn’t stand Kai’s stare so he looked away and stayed quiet. He could hear the small gasp Kai made. “Taehyun what did you do?” His tone wasn’t so much accusatory as much as it sounded worried.

And when he still didn’t answer Kai sighed. “Look we don’t need to talk about it right now. But the elephant in the room is whether you still plan on telling him.”

That was the part Taehyun couldn’t stop thinking about. He finally took a glance at Kai. There was so much worry and sadness in his eyes. “I don’t know Kai…He’s not answering me I don’t know what he wants. What do you think I should do?”

“You shouldn’t be asking me that Hyun. Just tell me what is it that you want to do. That’s what matters the most. You need to decide.”

Kai held his eyes on Taehyun, giving him silent encouragement. And Taehyun knew what he wanted to do. What he had always wanted to do but was too afraid. Did he have enough courage to do it now?

“I want to. And he’s here. He came, Kai. Maybe he wants it too. Is it too bold of me to assume that?”

Kai gave him a look of sympathy “We’ll see Hyun, but if you think you can do it than do it. I trust you and you should trust yourself.”

They saw Soobin approaching so Taehyun shut his mouth thinking of how he could get Soobin to stay after class but Kai turned once again to whisper to Taehyun “You still owe me an explanation no matter how this goes.”

When Soobin was seated once again an idea came to Taehyun on how to make him stay. He remembered the assignment Soobin handed in and he thanked his lucky stars he was in position of authority in that situation so Soobin couldn’t just outright reject him. “Soobin-ssi, can you stay behind after class, there was something in your assignment I would like to discuss.”

He allowed a bit of happiness to seep in when his plan worked and Soobin said okay. He didn’t like lying but he had to get him to stay somehow. He thought that in this case the end justified the means.

Rest of the class dragged on and on for Taehyun. He was jittery and tried to think about how he was going to approach the situation but his mind was too unfocused. He quickly opened his mail and looked at Soobin’s assignment more thoroughly, hoping he could find something that would buy him some time but it was, in fact, a text book example of how that assignment should be done.

Once the professor was done with the class he hurried down, passing Kai who caught his hand for a second and squeezed reassuringly, so he could catch the professor. “Professor Lee, is it okay if I lock up, I have something to discuss with one of the students that handed in their assignment earlier.”

The professor jut gave him a smile. “Oh sure Kang-ssi. Just don’t stay too long because professor Bae has a class in here in half an hour so once you lock up you know where to leave the key or if you run into her you can just give it to her.”

Taehyun thanked her and soon she was out of the classroom along with most of the student body and when it was just him and Soobin who was slowly coming down the stairs he went to close the door and then pretended to be doing something on the computer.

He didn’t know how to even start the conversation but luckily for him, as soon as Soobin was near him, he spoke. “I’m sorry if there’s something majorly wrong, I was really stressed when I did it so if I failed to catch a mistake or left something out I can redo it and send it back by the end of the day.”

Taehyun could hear the nervousness in his voice that made him feel guilty for making him worry so much over literally nothing just because he couldn’t come up with a smarter excuse to keep him there after class. The words were already out of his mouth before he could think some more. “Don’t worry Soobin-ssi, your assignment was actually perfect.”

Now, it was all or nothing so he walked around the table to finally face Soobin and look at him properly. He could see both the worry and curiosity in his eyes. There was no more putting it off.

“What I’m more concerned about is why exactly you were so stressed during the weekend. I mean everything seemed fine on Saturday. And then you gave me complete radio silence on Sunday and even today.” He could see how Soobin’s eyes grew and so did the anxiety pooling in them but he continued. “I half expected you not to show up.”

Taehyun didn’t know if Soobin had connected the dots. “W-what?” It didn’t seem like he did. So Taehyun would have to spell it out for him. He anticipated such an outcome as he firmly gripped the marker in his left hand.

He was scared. Very scared. But he grit his teeth and let out a breath he’s been holding for a while as he came even closer to Soobin.

“Soobinnie…”He breathed out as he, for the first time ever, let himself touch his soulmate.

If Taehyun had to pinpoint the exact moment in his life where he was the closest to losing his mind it would be this. The simple feeling of his hand pressed against Soobin’s almost made him forget who he is. All the years of studying, of working hard towards his goals, of friendships he built with people. All of it was gone. At that moment he was nothing more than Soobin’s soulmate. This was the man he was created for, someone Taehyun had the privilege of spending the rest of his life with if the other would allow it. Someone for who Taehyun would give his all to make happy. Someone who was his.

He barely held in the urge to tackle him and kiss him until they were both out of breath and then some more and never, ever, stop.

It was so much but he knew he had to keep his composure and so he forced himself back. Back to being Kang Taehyun. Because in front of him stood not just his soulmate but Choi Soobin. The lovely man that he, despite his best efforts, knew so much about. The shy, awkward boy he was when they first started messaging. The incredibly smart and funny man he was on the days he would indulge in nonsense banter with Taehyun. The goofy man he could sometimes be especially when talking about his best friend. The person he helped cheat on a few tests and that gladly returned the favor the two times Taehyun needed it. The man who, despite everything life threw at him, would still remember to check on how Taehyun was. The man who helped him through a lot of hard times even if he didn’t know it. The man who always remembered to be kind. The man Taehyun was in love with.

His soulmate.

His Bunny.

He saw the tear that escaped him and barely held his own in as he raised the marker.

And when he took a step back his whole world crumbled with the shattered look in Soobin’s wet eyes.

A hand came up to his cheek. It was like a ray of sunshine shined down on him to warm him up. Through all the pain and sadness that little touch brought him the tiniest bit of happiness and warmth.

“K-kitten...” Soobin said so weak and broken and Taehyun wanted nothing more than to hold him so tight the broken pieces of his soul would stick back together. But he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. What he did allow himself was to put his own hand atop the one Soobin had on his cheek.

At that he heard a sharp inhale from the other and it seemed like the final piece broke. Tears wouldn’t stop flowing from those beautiful eyes. And Taehyun scrambled as he reached up with his hands to stop them. “I-I’m sorry…I j-just need t-to…” and before his hands reached their destination his vision went black as he was tightly embraced with his head to Soobin’s chest. He could feel his hammering heart and maybe, just maybe, he had hope that Soobin would stay.

“I’m s-sorry…I thought I c-could…b-but I can’t…I’m s-so s-sorry...” Soobin stuttered through his tears and Taehyun couldn’t help his own starting to pool.

Because he knew.

He knew even before Soobin let him go. He knew before Soobin muttered his last apologies. He knew before he ran out of that classroom.

He knew that as much as he wanted him to, Soobin wouldn’t stay.

Through the door that was left open he saw Kai, a panicked look in his eyes, yelling after Soobin. It didn’t matter. Taehyun didn’t even notice when his legs gave out and he was left on his knees, as if he was praying that Soobin would come back. That he would stay. But he didn’t.

He didn’t even notice when Kai came to his side. All he knew were the two familiar hands holding him, a far cry from what he felt moments earlier. It almost felt cold in comparison.

Kai was speaking to him but Taehyun couldn’t focus on him. Everything around him was muffled as if he was underwater. The only thing he could hear was the sound of his own heart breaking.

And as painful as it was he had to get it together. He was still at work for fucks sake. So he focused on Kai’s hands that held him. He had to ground himself. And as he did soon everything came back into focus. He slowly tried to stand up, Kai supporting him the whole time.

“Taehyunnie…”

Taehyun couldn’t find his voice to say anything so he just tried to walk away on his shaky legs.

“Taehyunnie… Where are you going?” Kai asked worry lacing his voice.

“I need…need to return the keys…and then go to my office…” Taehyun tried answering but found himself losing focus once again now that he had let go of Kai.

But he was soon by his side again, this time holding his hand, not looking like he intended to let go any time soon. “Are you insane? We’re going home.”

“But I need to-“

“No listen, I’ll go return the keys and I’ll call Heesungie hyung to cover for you today. What you need is to go home and rest.” Kai’s eyes weren’t giving him a choice and he knew Kai wasn’t letting it go. Still he tried not to give in, desperately holding onto that last bit of control over his life.

But Kai wasn’t backing down. He held one of Taehyun’s own hands in front of him. “You’re shaking Hyunnie, you won’t be able to work in this state. So please. Let me take care of you.”

And Taehyun didn’t have any more fight left so he gave Kai the key and they walked out, Kai locking the door and leaving for a minute before he was back, quicker than he left, and slowly walked Taehyun out of the building. There was a taxi, which Kai probably called, waiting outside for them and before he knew it they were in their apartment.

Once Taehyun gave up on staying at work he felt himself detach from reality so it was no wonder he just found himself in bed, Kai wrapped around him with a few blankets covering them, without having a full recollection of how they had gotten there. But despite the blankets and Kai’s warmth he still felt cold. His mind unhelpfully supplied him with the crystal clear memory of the warmth that were Soobin’s arms and Soobin’s skin and just…Soobin.

He tried his hardest not to wake up Kai with his tears but he could feel the arms around him tighten and Kai’s soft whispers.

That’s how he spent the rest of the day until the tiredness overtook and he fell into a deep sleep. Drifting in and out of consciousness, constantly cold, not being able to forget the warmth of that one hug and tears spilling every time he came to. He didn’t know how he could bear it without Kai by his side.

* * *

Yeonjun was having a peaceful evening date with his soulmate at Beomgyu’s apartment. They weren’t doing anything special. At the start of the date Beomgyu showed him a few songs he was working on, wanting his input, and afterwards they settled on watching some movies as the background noise to their chatting. So everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

As the clock ticked away Yeonjun could notice that Beomgyu was becoming more and more nervous. And when Yeonjun had to repeat himself for the fifth time because Beomgyu wasn’t paying attention, he has had enough. He took his arms in his and made him focus on him.

“Beommie…what’s wrong? You seem…distracted.”

He could see the slightly guilty look Beomgyu had as he averted his eyes. He didn’t want to come across like he was angry so he gently caressed his cheek and moved a few strands of hair that fell into his eyes. “What is it baby? You can tell me.”

Yeonjun saw the light blush creeping on Beomgyu’s cheeks. ‘Cute’ he thought.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… it’s just that Soobin hasn’t come home yet. And he hasn’t been answering any of my text messages and neither is Taehyun so I’m worried.”

Of course it had to be about Soobin. But why would Beomgyu be trying to contact Taehyun? It’s not like Soobin would say anything to Taehyun if he didn’t to Beomgyu. “What does Taehyun have to do with it?

At that Beomgyu bit his lip. He looked as if he didn’t want to say whatever it was that was worrying him so much. But he couldn’t lie to his soulmate. “They were supposed to meet today. After class.”

Why didn’t Taehyun tell him? He thought they were supposed to tell each other these sorts of things. Kai must have known. So why didn’t he? “Do you think something bad happened?”

Beomgyu hesitantly nodded his head. “Knowing Soobin and what he was like this weekend the probability is high. I shouldn’t have just left him alone…”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened at the implications behind Beomgyu’s tone. He gently cupped Beomgyu’s cheek. “No…baby, don’t blame yourself. This is their mess and you shouldn’t be the one cleaning it up okay? Listen, let’s take it one step at a time okay? I’ll try calling Kai to see if he knows anything and we can take it from there okay?”

Beomgyu nodded slightly and that was Yeonjun’s cue to pick up his phone. He was, in fact, sure Kai knew exactly what happened and that he was probably with Taehyun. He held the phone in one hand and wrapped the other around Beomgyu.

But the call didn’t go through and he was met with the dull “Phone number currently unavailable.”

He tried once again in case it was a signal issue but the same thing happened. He started getting worried as well. This was three people missing.

He tried once again before giving up. And the worst part was meeting Beomgyu’s eyes. “I can’t reach him.”

He could feel Beomgyu starting to tremble. “What do you mean you can’t reach him? Yeonjun what’s happening?”

He tried staying calm. For Beomgyu at least. “I don’t know Beommie… But look, it won’t do us any good to start panicking. Let’s head to the boys’ apartment, they could all be there. If not…we’ll leave that for then. Is that okay with you?”

Beomgyu relaxed the tiniest bit as he nodded. They had gotten ready and headed to Yeonjun’s car. It was almost one a.m. when they drove away.

While he was driving, Yeonjun tried holding Beomgyu’s hand with his right one as much as it was possible. Beomgyu was staying quiet and from how much Yeonjun knew him it was obvious he was very worried.

Yeonjun thought about the situation they were in. It all started on Friday. He shouldn’t have meddled. He knew he shouldn’t have but when his soulmate asked him to, how could he refuse. And there was that sliver of hope he had that Taehyun’s bond would finally be fixed. Not that it was broken but there was obviously something wrong with it considering just how much suffering he had to go through. That wasn’t how soulmates were supposed to be.

And then there was Soobin. Yeonjun had mixed feelings about Soobin. On one hand he was the person constantly putting Taehyun through pain and suffering. And he just had to be Beomgyu’s best friend. And he could see how much pain even Beomgyu went through because of him.

And yet… 

When he finally met him on Friday the dislike he had for him almost all but vanished. Because before him was a person who wore the scars he had in every move. He could see the anxiety pool in his eyes with every interaction he had. He could see the constant fidgeting and the fear of being judged every time he had to answer anything. It wasn’t hard to guess all of those fears had their roots in his past.

So he found himself feeling sorry for the poor man. He just wanted to protect him from anything else bad in his life. And that sudden thought scared him a bit. Because how could he suddenly care for a complete stranger that only hurt the people he cared about for all he knew. But maybe…It really wasn’t his fault. But, what was, was his constant unwillingness to meet Taehyun. But maybe Yeonjun understood it just a bit more now.

And once Kai did whatever he did to calm him down he could see the man he could be without all those fears inhibiting him. He could see the bright persona hid behind all of it. Someone who could complement Taehyun well. And he wished they could get there.

There was just one major thing. One thing that didn’t really make him too eager to help them. He knew it was selfish. He knew it damn well but sometimes he couldn’t control his feelings.

* * *

They arrived to Taehyun and Kai’s apartment relatively fast. When Yeonjun unlocked the door for them and when they entered what awaited them was a dark and quiet apartment. They were both losing hope fast. That was until they heard the toilet flush and Kai exited the bathroom. He reasonably flinched when he saw them.

“Hyung? And Beomgyu hyung? What are you two doing here?” He asked in a hushed voice, eyes wide but then something seemed to click. “It’s about Soobbin-hyung isn’t it?”

Beomgyu was the first to speak.”Yes, please tell me he’s here.”

And before Kai could answer Yeonjun added, “And why aren’t neither you nor Taehyun answering your phones. Beomgyu and I tried contacting you.”

“No Beomgyu-hyung, he isn’t here. And sorry hyung but making sure our phones were charged was the last thing on my mind with the state Taehyun was in and he’s currently sleeping.”

Now that made Yeonjun worry but before he could ask anything Kai spoke again.

“And if you’re asking me if Soobin is here, Beomgyu-hyung, does that mean he still hasn’t come home?” He asked worry lacing his voice and Beomgyu could only nod. Yeonjun could see tears staring to gather.

“Shit.”

Kai wasn’t being helpful so Yeonjun had to step in “Kai, what the fuck happened?”

Kai looked lost. “I don’t know hyung. Soobin-hyung didn’t seem right from the moment we saw him and after class I left them to sort it out and stayed outside of the classroom and after a while Soobin just ran out. I tried stopping him but he didn’t even notice me. He was crying.” They were all speechless.

Yeonjun hugged his soulmate tightly. “It’s gonna be okay Beommie. We’ll find him okay? Don’t worry. We can go look for him. Do you have any idea where he could have gone to?” Beomgyu silently shook his head and Yeonjun could feel his shirt starting to get wet. Beomgyu was crying. “Shh, baby we’ll think of something.” Yeonjun whispered softly and then turned his head to Kai.

“Kai? Do you have any way to help?” That seemed to shake Kai out of whatever stupor he was in.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry hyungs, I didn’t notice, I’m so stupid. I was too focused on Taehyun, I’m sorry Beomgyu-hyung.” He muttered in his panic and Yeonjun had to snap out of it.

“Kai! What are you talking about? Can you help or not?”

Kai’s eyes finally focused on Yeonjun and he could see the panic easing up a bit. “Yeah, sorry… Soobin is probably somewhere outside. That’s why I couldn’t warm Taehyun up. I should’ve thought of it sooner, I’m sorry. Stay here and I’ll go see what I can do.” Kai scrambled to enter Taehyun’s room as quietly as he could.

While waiting for him to come back Yeonjun unwrapped his arms from around Beomgyu and gently held his face. “Do you hear that baby? Kai is going to help us so don’t worry okay? I hate seeing you cry.” he wiped the tears from his eyes and Beomgyu sniffed. “O-okay”

Yeonjun’s heart really was breaking for him. He leaned in and pressed his lips on the younger’s forehead hoping it would calm him down a bit.

They heard the door to Taehyun’s room opening and closing and Kai came back, tear marks left on his cheeks. This was bad.

“I couldn’t get where exactly he is, it’s really hard to discern surroundings with their bond. All I know is that he’s still outside. And he’s not good. He is so cold and the connection is so weak it’s like he’s trying to block it.”

Beomgyu’s hand still holding to Yeonjun’s tightened. “Please tell me there’s a but, Kai.”

Kai looked at him with an unsure look. “There is. I could try tracking the bond. I’ve done it only once and for a shorter distance but it’s our best chance.” That made Yeonjun sigh in relief. Until he remembered something. “Are you sure you’re going to be fine? That you can take it?”

Kai nodded resolutely. “Don’t worry hyung, I know my limits.”

Yeonjun wanted to make double sure but was interrupted by Beomgyu.

“You said their bond is weak. So it’s still there? Will it break?”

“I said the connection was weak, which means I, as a seer, am having a hard time seeing through it and it’s something soulmates can do to each other to block each other out if they ever need it. The connection is actually so strong I don’t know what it would take for it to break.”

Now both Beomgyu and Yeonjun were confused. It was Yeonjun who spoke up. “How the fuck is that even possible? Soulmates blocking each other? How is it any different than breaking the bond? And how did theirs get stronger after everything that happened?”

Kai focused on his last question “My theory is that it’s because they’ve been in close proximity on a regular basis for a while now so it strengthened a bit in that period but the nail in the coffin was the stunt you two pulled on Friday. The strength of the bond quadrupled since then. It affected it so much I even had a premonition about it.”

Beomgyu looked lost at all of that. Yeonjun couldn’t blame him.

“Okay, let’s pretend we understand it. You two go on and try to find Soobin and I’ll stay here in case Taehyun wakes up and needs someone.”

Kai went to get dressed which left only Yeonjun and Beomgyu in the room. Beomgyu was holding tightly onto Yeonjun’s shirt who didn’t fail to notice it. “Don’t worry Beommie. You’ll definitely find him. Trust Kai, he knows what he’s doing. Mostly. And please look after him okay? He could easily get dizzy from using his powers so if you notice it, make him rest a bit okay? Can I count on you for that?”

Beomgyu nodded and hugged Yeonjun tightly. “I’ll look after your brother. I just hope Soobin will be alright because he is like my own brother. I need to find him before he does something stupid.”

They stayed like that until Kai returned. And as they were about to leave Yeonjun said “Text me when you find him okay?”

They both nodded and then they were out of the apartment leaving Yeonjun alone in the living room. It was already two a.m.

He could only hope that this mess was going to be solved soon.

* * *

Taehyun woke up to complete darkness and an empty bed. It was so cold. He checked the time. It was three a.m.

He was trying to fight off the chill.

He wished he could cuddle Kai.

And that’s when it hit him. It was three a.m. and Kai wasn’t in the bed.

Where was Kai?

Did he leave him too?

Taehyun didn’t even have the power to stop the tears anymore.

He got up, still covered in a blanket because it was just.so.damn.cold.

Everything was blurry as he exited his room with only one thing in his mind. Finding Kai. He didn’t even see properly where he was going.

“Kai?” he desperately called.

“Kai are you here?”

“Taehyunnie?”

Finally a voice responded. But it wasn’t Kai.

It was only then that he noticed that the lights were actually on and that there was a person sitting on the couch.

“Yeonjunnie-hyung? What are you doing here? Where is Kai?”

Why was Yeonjun in their apartment at three in the morning?

“Taehyunnie… come sit here okay? I’ll explain.”

Yeonjun’s voice seemed to lack its usual warmth. Why was everything so cold? He sat down trying to snuggle up into the blankets as much as he could.

“Where is Kai?”

Taehyun was too unfocused on anything else beside Kai to register Yeonjun’s reactions.

“He and Beomgyu went out to search for Soobin.”

Soobin?

Why did they have to search for him?

And in the middle of the night?

Yeonjun must’ve noticed his confusion. “He didn’t come home yesterday.”

What?

Taehyun’s head instantly provided worst-case scenarios and it sent Taehyun into a spiral. He tried to see if he could feel anything from Soobin but all he felt was coldness.

Did their bond break?

Was this how it felt to have your bond broken?

Will he spend the rest of his life living in this coldness?

That couldn’t be it. He had to get a hold of his Bunny.

“Why…. Hyung…I-I….I have to…. I need a pen….Hyung can y-you give me a p-pen…”

His hands were shaking and he was sobbing. He could barely think straight. He had to make sure Bunny was okay.

That was when Yeonjun firmly grabbed his hands.

“Taehyun. Look at me. I need you to look at me.”

Taehyun listened to the voice. And stared at the two brown eyes. Right. Yeonjun was here.

“Okay, good. Now you’re going to breathe with me okay?”

He could barely nod.

“Okay, now, breathe in.

And out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Good, you’re doing great.

Again, in.

And out.

Keep going.

In.

Out.

That’s it.”

Taehyun just listened to the sound of Yeonjun’s voice and did what he was told. Soon he found himself calming down, starting to feel present. It felt embarrassing to have Yeonjun witness his panic attack, but at least it was someone he trusted.

“You feeling better now?”

“Yeah. Thank you hyung. Sorry for freaking out on you.”

Yeonjun gave him a small smile. “Don’t apologize; I’m glad I could help. Now listen to me. I know you may still want to contact Soobin but we both know that he won’t respond okay? You’re just going to upset yourself even more. So the best thing we can do is trust Kai and Beomgyu to find him for us. Kai made sure to text as soon as they find him.”

Taehyun knew that Yeonjun was stating facts, so he tried to calm himself down a bit more. If only it wasn’t so cold.

While Yeonjun gave him some time to gather his thoughts Taehyun tried to do the one thing he knew would guarantee he could actually talk to him. The weird same body experience. But he had no idea how to do it by himself. If Kai was here maybe he could help him.

“I wish Kai was here.”

Taehyun regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth when he saw the hurt look on Yeonjun’s face.

“Well, yeah, I know, but until they come back you’ll just have to bear with my company.” Yeonjun said, his jaw tightened.

“Hyung, I didn’t mean it lik-“ Taehyun couldn’t even apologize before Yeonjun contained his feelings and gave Taehyun a sympathetic smile. Taehyun wasn’t mentally capable enough to recognize if it was fake or not.

“Don’t worry. Now, if you want, could you tell me what happened?”

So Taehyun did. At least everything that happened the day before. He still wasn’t comfortable sharing Saturday’s events with anyone, much less in the state that he was in.

When he finished Yeonjun had an indecipherable look on his face.

“So you just let him go?”

Taehyun couldn’t even comprehend the question.

“W-What?”

Yeonjun still had the stone cold expression on his face.

“You do realize you may never see him again?”

Of course Taehyun knew that. How could he not? “Of course I do. But-“

He was cut off by Yeonjun.

“And yet, you still just let him run away from you?”

“W-what was I supposed to do? Hold him down? Put him in a chokehold so he can’t move?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what you were supposed to do. If you want something you shouldn’t just let go off it. You need to hold on to it with everything you’ve got.”

Now Taehyun was starting to get angry. What the fuck did Yeonjun not get about respecting boundaries and freedom of choice? And how dare he, of all people, say something like that.

”Very bold of you, of all people, to say that.”

He could see the anger starting to rise in Yeonjun’s eyes as well. Good.

“What do you mean by that?”

Taehyun scoffed. Yeonjun knew full well what he meant by that.

“Don’t play dumb with me. Or do you perhaps want me to realize that you didn’t actually want my friendship? And all the jealous complaining that you do about how you’re not my best friend anymore and that Kai stole your spot is just your inferiority and attachment complexes talking?”

Yeonjun’s eyes were wide, pure fire in them.

“I left so I could further my career not because I wanted to leave you. As someone who used to call himself my best friend I thought you would be supportive of my dreams and not make it all about yourself.”

Taehyun couldn’t believe that Yeonjun was playing the same victim card he did all those years ago.

“I can’t believe you hyung. You know full well I was always your number one supporter, even when your dad wasn’t, you always had your mom and me. You know damn well it’s not about you just going to the States. It’s about how you grabbed the first chance you had to cut off all ties with me just like I feared you would. You promised when we had that fight before you left that you would always respond to me whenever you could but you broke that promise.”

“The time zones were different and I didn’t have time we went over this-“

“Bullshit. Stop lying to me hyung. Do you think I’m so stupid I didn’t realize that as soon as your plane took off I wouldn’t hear a word from you? My soulmate left me a few months before and then my best friend did the same. And yes you really were my best friend. Even when Kai came into the picture. And then you just left me. And for what? Because you couldn’t bear thinking about your stupid friend whose stupid soulmate abandoned him, whose whole stupid relationship with his soulmate was fucked up.

Because you couldn’t bear the thought of the same thing happening to you.

Because you’ve built this grandiose idea of how soulmates should be and didn’t want to face the messy truth.

So it was best not to even think about him and hope you would find your soulmate as soon as possible, wasn’t it?

Well now you’ve gotten your happy story with your soulmate, congratulations.”

It was the same old argument ever since Taehyun and Soobin decided not to meet the first time they connected. Yeonjun was always like that. But this was the first time Taehyun found it in himself to speak up against him. If Taehyun was a worse person he would find joy in Yeonjun’s guilty look. But it tore him apart. Because he was right. And because his friend was hurting.

“I’ve been trying to make it up to you, you know? Every day and with everything that I can.” Yeonjun started in a small voice, Taehyun’s heart was breaking for the pain in the older’s voice. “I really was and still am. But it’s been hard. It’s been hard constantly putting you first and always being the last person on your mind. And I know I have absolutely no right to feel this way but I can’t help it. And it’s not just that. It’s like my whole personal life is revolving around you and I hate myself for even thinking that way but how can I not? How can I not when you’ve been my best friend for my whole childhood? How can I not when my brother is your best friend now and has been crushing on you for who knows how long? How can I not when MY soulmate is your soulmate’s best friend? Yes, I’ve gotten my fairy tale soulmate meeting but even from day one a big part of our relationship is you. So how can I not? And I’m trying Taehyun, I’m really trying not to blame you, it’s not your fault but it’s hard. Because sometimes it feels like it is. Because it feels like you’re the center of my life but you don’t even want me in yours. Why did both Kai and Beomgyu know you were going to meet with Soobin but not me? Why don’t you tell me when you’re feeling down anymore when we were each other’s shoulder to cry on in high school? Why, even when I’m right next to you to comfort you and help you through hard times, don’t you even see me and ask for Kai? I just want to be let into your life more than just an extension of Kai, because you take such a huge part of mine.”

Yeonjun’s cheeks were stained with tears and Taehyun had half a mind to just go and hold him. But he couldn’t. Because as much as he tried to see Yeonjun’s side the other wasn’t trying to consider his.

“Did you ever wonder why that was hyung? Didn’t it ever occur to you that most of my problems were soulmate-related? And how was I supposed to talk to you about it when, when I had the most difficult time you left me exactly because of that? How could I trust you after that? And even when we talk about it there’s only one solution you keep offering me. So while I am sorry for the way fate made me a big part of your life I can’t apologize for not trusting you with my heart again, at least until I can know for sure you won’t hurt me again.”

Yeonjun sighed in defeat but his eyes were still pleading with him.

“Okay, fine, I get it; we have a drastic difference of opinions. And I never did apologize did I? So let me tell you that I regret cutting you off while I was in the States with my whole being and I am very sorry and can only promise you to never do it again and I’ll leave it up to you to decide when you’ll start to believe that promise. 

But please, just listen to my opinion and try, for once, to consider it. I know not everyone has the best luck with their soulmates and that not everyone is going to be have a happy story like the one I have with Beomgyu. I outgrew that worldview a long time ago. But listen. Both you and Soobin have been hurt again and again because of your bond. And it isn’t just the two of you that have been hurt but everyone around you. Kai, Beomgyu, me… And I don’t think that’s how a good bond would work. This is too much. And I know I don’t have the right to call myself your best friend but I still care for you a lot and I don’t want to see you suffer so much. I think it would be much better for you if your bond broke. I mean you didn’t even try to stop him when he left. Doesn’t that tell you something? Neither of you seem happy with meeting each other nor seem to want it that much. So maybe, just maybe, you should let it go.”

Why couldn’t Yeonjun just let go of that idiotic thought? Couldn’t he see just how much Taehyun wanted to finally meet with Soobin?

Before either of them could say anything else Yeonjun’s phone dinged with a text.

“They’ve found him.”

Taehyun could feel a weight being lifted off of his chest and suddenly he felt very tired.

“Hyung” he said and Yeonjun looked at him, “You are still my friend, you know? Despite everything. So don’t take this the wrong way or think I never want to see you again in my life, but please leave. I can’t have this conversation with you right now. I don’t have the strength and I think there is too much to talk about right now. We’ll do it when I won’t be on the verge of breaking down every five minutes. And this time for real, hyung. We need to talk. I want us to talk this out and fix it. Fix us.”

Yeonjun looked hurt but nodded. Before he left he turned around one last time.

“Just…consider it Taehyun.”

And then he was gone.

And honestly…

Fuck Choi Yeonjun.

Fuck him for planting that stupid idea in his head.

Because under all of that hope there was that small doubt that crawled inside his head.

That maybe, just maybe, their bond wasn’t meant to be.

That maybe, just maybe, he would be happier without it.

That maybe, if Soobin didn’t want to stay, just maybe, neither should Taehyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all   
> YEONJUN YOU DUMB FUCK THE PROBLEM IS THEY WANT TO MEET TOO MUCH NOT THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO MEET AT ALL GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL GOD DAMMIT
> 
> did I just rage at a character I wrote to be like that?  
> yes, yes I did and I'll probably do it again
> 
> also  
> if Taehyun's brain wasn't literally fried from the emotional stress he experianced that day he would never, in a million years, even consider what Yeonjun suggested bc he would be smart enough to think about how THEY HAVE A LITERAL ALL KNOWING SOULMATE BOND EXPERT AMONG THEM AND THE ONLY VALID ADVICE COMES FROM HIM YEONJUN YOU IDIOT WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO READ A FUCKING ROOM, NOT EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU DUMBASS
> 
> okay now I'm done  
> but on a more serious note Yeonjun is what you get when you make a crucial mistake in your life and you really do want to take it back and make everything better but also feel like the punishment is too hard and you have a hard time dealing with the consequences of your actions, don't lie we've all been there, and you have to battle those nasty urges that tell you to just fuck it all and quit so yeah he is a real mixed bag. but yk a good person is not just someone who has good and rightous thoughts only *ahem*Kai*ahem but also someone who constantly fights the bad urges. Yeonjun just needs to get his head out of his ass for a bit.
> 
> did I spend the whole end note ranting about Yeonjun when there are more important things to talk about?  
> yes, yes I did and there's nothing you can do about it.
> 
> At this point idk when the next chapter is goign to be out and I'm too afraid to ask (someone contact my mangaer, opps I don't have one)
> 
> So see you next time, whenever that will be (:  
> Have a nice day


	15. Maybe I Should Let You Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long...  
> Anyway, 
> 
> umm... enjoy?
> 
> tw// blood

They’ve been walking for half an hour at least. Beomgyu wished they could go faster but seeing Kai balancing focusing on the bond and the exhaustion it caused him, he didn’t have the heart to make him hurry up. On the contrary, he urged him to take it as slow as possible. He didn’t like the sheen of sweat coating the younger’s forehead, especially considering just how cold it was and he had a promise to keep to Yeonjun.

“Kai are you sure you don’t need to take a break, rest a little?”

Kai shot him a weak but reassuring smile. “Don’t worry hyung. I’m not as fragile as all of you think. Besides, I can’t let go of the bond because I’d lose it and then we would have to go back. So it would be the best for everyone involved if we find him as soon as possible.”

Beomgyu couldn’t say anything against that but it didn’t stop him from worrying about Kai. In fact, he was worrying about all of them. And he couldn’t help feeling guilty. It was his fault after all. He went behind his best friend’s back. He even went behind Taehyun’s back. He shouldn’t have lied when Soobin asked him if he told Taehyun his name. Because, even if technically Taehyun knew of Soobin, Beomgyu actually was the one to officially introduce Soobin to Taehyun as his soulmate. And he knew he shouldn’t have done that. He should have known it wouldn’t end up well. Even more so when he noticed something off about Soobin during the weekend. He shouldn’t have let Soobin go to that class on Monday. He should’ve, at the very least, waited for him after the class.

But he shouldn’t think about that right now. He needed to focus on the one thing he could try his hardest to do. And that was finding Soobin. When he found out nobody knew where Soobin was he spiraled into a panic and couldn’t even think of a single place where he could find Soobin. But now that he calmed down a bit, with Kai by his side, a few places came to mind. But since Kai was here now he thought it would be better and more efficient to let Kai handle it. Still, he wanted to help in any way he could. And to do that he first had to understand what exactly Kai was doing.

“Hey Kai, can you answer me how exactly you’re tracking Soobin? Is it something like if you were to track my bond with Yeonjun? Like tracking a thread that would lead you to Soobin? Sorry if it doesn’t make sense I don’t know a lot about all of that.”

Kai just gave him a soft smile “It’s okay hyung, nobody expects you to understand that, it’s quite abstract. But to answer your question, no it’s not really like following a thread since their bond doesn’t have a spatial element. Right now I’m working much more like a search dog. To simplify it, I took the energy signature of their bond in the apartment and I constantly have to conjure it up in my mind and we’re going in the direction where it feels like the energy is getting stronger, keeping in mind that we’re going in the opposite direction of where Hyunnie is. Usually when I’m next to Taehyun I can see Soobin and his immediate surroundings too but since the connection is blocked I couldn’t. There is just the small part coming through that makes Hyunnie know that Soobin is alive at least. That’s why he was cold. I’m also pretty sure the ink bond would still work too.”

That was the thing that had Beomgyu confused for a while now, especially with how Kai talked about Soobin’s bond. “Kai…how many bonds do they have exactly. Because at first we thought it was just an ink bond, but then it turned out it was a skin bond….but even that doesn’t seem like it encompasses everything, now does it? Because feeling each other’s pulse through their skin? That sounds like a stretch…And then you did that thing where they connected even more? That doesn’t sound possible for just a skin connection.”

Kai had to admit that Beomgyu seemed very perceptive and more quick-witted then what he seemed like at first. Those were some of the things he wondered about too. “That’s what made me confused at first too. Especially when I connected them. But I have a theory. For a long time we thought they just had multiple bonds, even more so when Hyunnie found out about the sexual connection. But I don’t think it’s multiple different bonds anymore. My theory is that they have one bond but that that bond is very multifaceted. And it still hasn’t manifested completely because they haven’t accepted each other yet but it’s close. Even more so after I brought them closer. And after you and Yeonjun had them meet. Some bonds do that. Only reveal their full potential when the soulmates meet and accept each other. Like how you and Yeonjun can tug on each other with the thread. But theirs is much larger than that. I can’t even grasp by how much.”

Beomgyu had a guilty look in his eyes and Kai knew the exact reason. He wanted to talk to him about it but decided they had a more urgent matter to focus on. For now he just gave Beomgyu’s arm a small squeeze. They continued to walk, however slow it was.

Kai thought about Taehyun and Soobin’s bond. He had meant to inspect it much closer but didn’t have a chance to get around to it. He remembered the way Taehyun described how it felt when he pulled them closer. He said it was like they were in each other’s bodies and as much sense it made to him back then it was obvious to him now that he had a clear head and after the bit of research he did in the Archive. Soul exchange was impossible or at least it has never happened for as long as bonds started to manifest.

“Hyung, since you know the thing I did to them I assume Soobin told you. Can you tell me how he described it?” Kai spoke up hoping he would get some more insight from Beomgyu. Maybe he could speed up their search if he understood the bond better.

Beomgyu looked a bit taken aback by the sudden question. “Oh… so you don’t know exactly what you did? Didn’t Taehyun tell you?”

“Haha…yeah…I’m still learning and I don’t always know the direct effects of my powers. And Taehyun was very vague and since I passed out like almost immediately after, he couldn’t go into details.” Kai felt a bit embarrassed about his own lack of knowledge.

Beomgyu on the other hand just smiled gently but then a glint of worry appeared in his eyes. “No wonder Yeonjun asked me to look after you, you seem very reckless with the way you use your powers.”

Kai let out a nervous laugh “Well if I never pushed my limits I would still be stuck only being able to see the most obvious bonds.” He has been told the same thing by both Yeonjun and Taehyun but he needed to understand and learn to use his abilities as much as he could so he could help his friends. If it involved blacking out here and there and a few headaches it was definitely worth it in his mind.

Beomgyu gave him a slightly disapproving look but Kai knew he was just worried. He was used to it. “Anyway, hyung can you just answer my question?”

Beomgyu looked at him for a few more seconds before seemingly giving up trying to reason with him. “Umm…he also wasn’t too specific. He said it was like he was Taehyun.” and there it was, Kai could’ve guessed that would be the answer. But Beomgyu kept talking. “But it wasn’t like he was just in Taehyun’s body. He said it felt like he was both of them simultaneously, like he had two bodies.”

And that was the critical clue Kai needed. Suddenly he recalled a book about very rare bond types he read a long time ago in the Archive and everything clicked. He stopped Beomgyu from walking.

“Hyung, I think I’ll be able to see his surroundings but first I need to sit down somewhere, is that okay with you?” Kai knew their progress was too slow and if he could speed it up along with figuring out their bond he wanted to at least try.

Beomgyu looked at him confused but then nodded and so they went to the closest bench. When they sat down Beomgyu gave him a concerned look. “Are you sure it won’t hurt you?”

“Don’t worry hyung I’ll be fine, compared to things I did in the past couple of days this is going to be a piece of cake.” Kai smiled reassuringly, “But, it will look like I’ve passed out for a minute or two. Don’t worry, that’s normal and I’ll let you know as soon as I’m back.”

Beomgyu’s face showed he didn’t really understand him but he made no move to stop him so Kai gave him another quick smile before closing his eyes. He focused hard on the book he needed.

When he opened them again he was standing in the Archive, endless rows of books stretching all around him. Every time he willed himself back to the source of all bond knowledge he felt a sense of pride bloom in him. A long time ago the only way he could visit was through his dreams and it took him a lot of time to figure out how to get himself there. He would sometimes see other seers and after talking to a considerable amount he noticed not a lot of them came there willingly and not a lot of them wanted to. He found out most of them never wanted to expand on their powers, often resenting the mere fact they had them and would often just sit at one of the many tables scattered across the archive waiting till they woke up. That wasn’t the case for Kai. Ever since he first stepped in he felt his curiosity spark, wanting to learn about his powers and soulmate bonds as much as he could.

The Archive was split into two sections. The first, smaller, one consisted of the records all the seers that came before and decided to do some research left behind. Kai himself actually made more than a few contributions to that part. The other, much larger, part was made of the files kept about every bond that ever existed. What it was, how and when it manifested, when the people would meet and similar information. No one knew where they came from but with every baby born new files popped into existence. And no one could access those files. They weren’t made for human eyes.

There were more than a few times Kai wished he could take at least a tiny glance. Maybe he could find out what happened to his parents. There were countless times he stood in front of his mother’s file praying his fingers wouldn’t just slip through nothing when he reached for it. It would be where the Librarian would find him the most back when he was still a child.

_“You know, Kai, we can’t let just anyone look at the files.” The elegant, silver-haired, young man would tell him with a gentle expression._

_“But I wouldn’t do anything bad with them. I just want to find out what happened to her and dad. I don’t understand why you can’t just let me.” A much younger Kai tried reasoning. The Librarian gave him a small smile. Kai didn’t like that there was pity in his eyes._

_“But tell me, Kai, what exactly would you do with that information? It’s information you don’t need in your life and if you were born as all other children were you wouldn’t have any access to. Mortals aren’t meant to know about the destiny’s plans for them.”_

_“That’s bullshit,” yelled the thirteen year old Kai, “I wasn’t born normal, so what’s the use in even having these powers!” he threw a tantrum. “And I’m not interested in what the Fates have in store for me I just want to know what happened to them.” even back then it wasn’t often that Kai got angry or upset but he couldn’t help feeling wronged and the way the Librarian had this pitying look in his eyes wasn’t helping. The tears were pooling in his eyes as he put his head in his hands. The Librarian crouched down to where Kai was, gently patting his head._

_“Listen Kai, I know the Fates are cruel to people like you and that it seems like you are stuck with powers that have no use to you. But even if you could access the files, let me tell you, they wouldn’t give you the closure you seek. They would bring you nothing but more grief and sadness. But listen to me, if you decide to make use of your powers you could help the people you love. Even if it pains you, the best thing to do is to let go of the past and focus on the present, make sure you and the people around you are happy.”_

With time Kai got good at suppressing his desire to look at those files, he wasn’t desperate for those kinds of answers anymore, even if he still felt a wave of curiosity now and again. The Librarian helped him through most of it directing his curious mind toward exploring everything his abilities could do. Kai would say he felt like a second father to him if it wasn’t for his youthful appearance. He was more like an older brother. Kai once asked him how come he never aged.

_“Are you one of the Fates?” Kai asked hesitantly, fearing he may have had one too many casual conversations with a deity. He was sixteen at the time._

_The Librarian just smiled, as he often did, but with time Kai learned to read him better and he could see the sadness concealed in his eyes._

_“No, I’m not. I’m not anything special even if I’m not a mortal anymore. Once, a long time ago, I was a seer, just like you.” This sparked a hope in Kai that maybe, one day, he could get a hold of those files but the Librarian noticed it. “Before you go jumping to conclusions let me just tell you that in order to become a Librarian you need to give up your life on Earth and devote your whole immortal existence to it until, at least, a substitute is found. When I made that decision I was young and foolish. As for never aging I can make myself look however I want to here. I just decided to stick with what I looked like when I took the job. Doesn’t hurt to look young and handsome, does it? ” He tried lightening the mood._

_And Kai’s mind immediately went to Taehyun, recently abandoned by both his soulmate and best friend. He couldn’t be another person abandoning him. Getting closure wasn’t nearly as important as taking care of him. And just like that every thought of ever reading those files was gone._

He approached the ever-youthful face sat behind the Librarian’s work desk. He was busy writing something, probably checking a newly-submitted record for any inaccuracies before cataloguing it in the library.

“Mars, quick I need a book.”

The Librarian, Mars as Kai liked to call him, lifted his head. “Kai. What brings you here?”

“I’m sorry but I’m in a hurry can you just bring me the book. I don’t remember the exact title but I clearly remember reading it and some of the content. So could you…” He trailed off but Mars already knew what to do.

So Kai thought hard about the memory and let Mars in to see exactly what he needed.

“Okay I got it. Wait for a minute ‘till I go get it.”

As a Librarian, Mars had the ability to look into people’s minds and memories if he was let in. And after knowing him for years, Kai had no problem with letting him in. At this point they were practically brothers. He even had the privilege of knowing the story of Seonghwa and Hongjoong, two boys who lived more than a hundred years ago. A story of a seer deeply in love with his best friend who was in a happy relationship with his soulmate. A soulmate the seer helped him find. And how the seer, once he made sure the two were happy, took the offer of leading an eternal life, working for the Fates and guiding others like him to reach their full potential as long as they were willing.

_“At least that’s what Seonghwa told himself. That he had a noble cause. When in truth he was just running away from his feelings. I was running away from the heartbreak to somewhere where no one could find me. I can only hope Hongjoong lived a happy life with his soulmate. My biggest regret is that I never said goodbye. He deserved an explanation as to why his best friend disappeared. I should’ve been honest with my feelings. Seonghwa was a fucking coward.”_

_There were no other seers in the library that night, just the two of them sitting on the floor, backs leaned on the desk. The Librarian manifested a few drinks for them to celebrate Kai becoming an adult. The whole story was brought up a few drinks in, when Kai finally asked for his name._

_“Well then, how about I call you something else?” Kai suggested to which Seonghwa raised a quizzical eyebrow. “I mean, Seonghwa was your name when you were back on Earth. You’re not anymore. So how about something like…..Mars?” Seonghwa cringed at him and Kai knew his suggestion was kinda stupid but he also had a few drinks and honestly didn’t care. “Yeah, Mars is good. At first glance it seems really cool and mystical just like you but the story behind it is pretty lame, also just like you.”_

_A few beats passed before they both burst into laughter. “Fine then, I can live with that. Call me Mars.”_

_They continued laughing and Kai had to admit that a smile looked much better on Mars than the sadness and anguish from a few moments ago._

Mars was back with the book soon and Kai thanked him. As Kai flipped through the pages he heard him speaking, “So you’ve finally figured out the bond between Taehyun and Soobin?”

He found what he was looking for and quickly scanned the pages. “So I’m correct? About this?”

Mars just shrugged with an innocent smile. “I don’t know, you have to go and see for yourself.”

Kai rolled his eyes at him. “You could just say yes, hag.”

Mars laughed at that. “You know that, contractually, I can’t.”

“Whatever.” He gave the book back to him. Before he left to return it Kai stopped him. “Do you know when all of this will end? When will the bond be completely in place?”

Mars gave him a blank stare. “You did have a premonition, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but it was just because the bond strengthened. This can’t be it…”

Mars’s eyes softened. The look in his eyes was the same one he gave him back when he was a dumb kid begging to see his mom’s files. “Kai, you know what a premonition means.” He gently caressed his cheek.

“It’s time to let go”

He closed his eyes feeling a tear slip away. He thought he had. He thought he had completely given up a long time ago. But Mars could always see right through him. Their stories were too similar.

When Kai opened his eyes he was back in his body. No more than a few minutes passed. Time worked differently in the Archive. Beomgyu was looking at him but he seemed spaced out.

“I’m back”

Beomgyu’s eyes slowly focused on Kai. “Oh? Already?” was the first thing he said but then his expression changed into one of worry. “Oh god, Kai! Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere?”

It was only then that Kai noticed the wetness on his cheeks. Ah… he must’ve spooked Beomgyu with the tears. “Don’t worry. I’m completely fine” He gave him a sheepish smile hoping Beomgyu would believe him.

Beomgyu looked at him skeptically but when he noticed there was nothing wrong with him he relaxed a bit.

“So did you do it?”

Kai shook his head. “This was only the first part but for the next one I‘ll at least be conscious. Let me just tell you I’ll probably be able to see some of the environment so I’ll try my best to describe it to you so we’ll see if you recognize it.”

Beomgyu nodded and then Kai closed his eyes once again. He reached across the dimension in which the bonds existed to find Taehyun’s bond, the energy he was tracking earlier helping him.

Once he did he looked at it a bit closer and then he saw it. They say perception is made out of prior knowledge and now that he knew what he was looking for he couldn’t miss it. It made no sense to him how he hadn’t noticed it before.

“God I’m such an idiot….” Beomgyu heard Kai mutter.

A few moments passed before Kai spoke again, this time sounding a bit triumphant. “Okay, I got it. Beomgyu are you listening to me?”

Beomgyu felt a rush of excitement. They were finally going to find Soobin. “Yeah, I can hear you. What do you see?”

“He’s on a bench surrounded by thick bushes… It’s somewhere a bit above the city…the view is very pretty…”

With the direction they were going in Beomgyu had a pretty good hunch where that could be but just to be sure he asked “Tell me if you can see a small cartoon rabbit and a bear etched into the bench. They should be in the left corner when sitting on the bench.” He held his breath for the few moments it took Kai to answer.

“Yeah, they’re there.”

Beomgyu could feel himself starting to shake. He knew where Soobin was. It was a small park where they used to hang out when Soobin didn’t feel like going home. It was abandoned years ago but it seemed like their bench was still there.

Kai opened his eyes. He was slightly out of breath. “You know where it is?”

“Yes, it’s a bit far so I’ll call a taxi. We’re going to need it to get back home too.”

Kai just nodded but Beomgyu noticed he didn’t seem as excited. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“I am but hyung…you should be prepared. Soobin hyung isn’t in the best condition. I just hope we can get to him as soon as possible.”

A new feeling of dread settled in Beomgyu’s stomach.

When the taxi arrived it felt like it took them forever to get to the abandoned park. Beomgyu asked the driver to wait for them as they hurried to where Soobin was.

* * *

Seeing Soobin like this, curled into a ball on the bench, shivering from the cold, tear tracks on his cheeks, broke Beomgyu’s heart. When he called out to him there was no answer. It was like Soobin didn’t even register his presence. Not even when he got closer. And Beomgyu didn’t have any idea about what to do. He had never seen Soobin like that. So blank. So utterly shattered. He turned to Kai.

“Kai, he isn’t responding. Do we take him to the hospital? What should we do?” Beomgyu tried thinking through it, tried keeping the panic at bay. He had to. His breakdown was the last thing he wanted to add to the mix.

“I don’t think there’s a doctor that could help him right now. Our priority should be getting him home and warming him up. That’s the only thing we can do for now.”

Beomgyu nodded and so both of them helped get him to his feet. Thankfully Soobin was pliant going along with them. He could see Kai shooting up a quick text to Yeonjun.

They returned to the taxi and gave instructions to Beomgyu and Soobin’s apartment to the driver noticing the questioning look he gave them. Beomgyu hoped it would be just the looks and that there would be no questions asked. Luckily for them there weren’t.

Beomgyu gently guided Soobin into their apartment, Kai following just behind them. When they were in Soobin’s room Beomgyu took off Soobin’s shoes and jacket. Now for the next step.

“Kai, can you please go get some blankets, they’re in the hallway closet. Bring all of them.”

Kai obliged and when he left the room Beomgyu undressed Soobin and put on his pajamas for him. When Kai returned with the blankets, he made sure Soobin was lying down and then tucked him in all of them. But now there was a problem. Soobin’s eyes were still open.

“Kai, it doesn’t seem like he will sleep. What do we do? I can’t just leave him like this, he needs rest.”

Kai seemed a bit hesitant as he looked between Beomgyu and Soobin.

“Let me try something…”

He sat next to Soobin and put one hand on his head. Beomgyu was left to wonder about what he was doing. Soon, Soobin’s eyes closed and his breathing slowed down.

When Kai got up Beomgyu noticed how wobbly he was. He slowly guided him out of the room and sat him down on the couch in the living room.

“You good?” he asked.

Kai nodded slightly but Beomgyu noticed how his breathing was uneven. “God, you could stop lying for a second and just tell me if I can help somehow, you know?”

To that Kai giggled. “Don’t worry hyung I just need time, nothing you can do to help, I’ll be fine in a minute or two.”

Beomgyu shook his head disapprovingly but decided to keep his mouth shut. If all Kai needed was a bit of peace to get better Beomgyu would provide it to him.

His thoughts went back to Soobin. He had no idea what was happening to him but he could only hope he would get better after sleeping for a bit. Beomgyu still felt guilty. He ruined everything with his meddling. He should’ve just let Soobin go at his own pace or, at the very least, discussed it with him.

But now he hurt his friend, he hurt Taehyun and he didn’t know how either of them would recover from it.

He was brought out of his head by a gentle hand on his own. He raised his head to see Kai’s eyes on him.

“Look, hyung, I know we haven’t known each other for long but even I can tell you’re getting stuck in your head and overthinking.” Beomgyu’s eyes widened. “But let me tell you something and I hope it will make the burden on your shoulders lighter. You shouldn’t feel guilty. You haven’t endangered their bond. On the contrary. I know having me as a friend has made everyone paranoid that forcing a meeting could break the bond. But the thing I keep saying and that apparently no one can get through their head is that that is a risk only if I’m involved. I shouldn’t be the one to make them meet. But that doesn’t mean nobody else can either. Friends are actually supposed to help. There’s no harm in what either you, or Taehyun, or Yeonjun did. Because none of you had gotten any information about who Soobin or Taehyun were from me. All of you figured it out on your own and you just did what any friend would. My point is, don’t feel guilty.”

Beomgyu had a hard time processing all of that. “But then why…Why is Soobin like that? Why didn’t it go well?”

He could see the pity on Kai’s face. “Because it was always meant to happen like this. Let me tell you a secret I learned tonight. Their bond is unbreakable. At least for them. Only a seer, like me, could break it, and they would have to be exceptionally skilled to do it. I don’t know much about it but there’s a reason why it’s so strong. It had to be for them to be able to come together.”

Beomgyu didn’t know what to say to that. It was a long day, he was tired and worried, and a bunch of information has just been dropped on him. He had to mull it over. When he didn’t speak for some time Kai got up.

“I’m going to go now. Please keep an eye on Soobin and call me if anything happens or you notice anything unusual.”

Beomgyu’s head shot up. “You sure you don’t want to stay? It’s early morning already.”

But Kai just shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, hyung, I’m a big boy. And I need to be there when Taehyun wakes up. I’m going to take care of my best friend and I’m counting on you to do the same. The next few days are going to be rough for all of us.”

Beomgyu looked Kai in the eyes hoping he could deliver his sincerity when he spoke “Thank you Kai. For everything. Even though you’re the youngest among us you have helped us all so much. I’m sure I don’t even know the half of it. I wish I could repay you somehow but for now all I can do is to show you my gratitude. So, thank you.”

Kai gave him a soft smile and then a quick hug. “Don’t worry, hyung. I will always be here for all of you.”

After Kai left Beomgyu was left mulling over his words. He couldn’t help but feel that, out of all of them, Kai had the hardest fate. He wished there was something he could do. But he knew, especially in that moment, he could barely understand the whole situation much less do something about it. He was tired and so he decided to go to bed, hoping his mind would be clearer in the morning.

* * *

Kai didn’t really sleep. When he had gotten home it was already past four in the morning. Yeonjun was gone and he found Taehyun asleep in his own room. He did try to go to sleep for at least a few hours but he couldn’t fall asleep. And he knew he needed rest especially when he had so much to deal with. In the end he decided to let his body rest, even if his mind couldn’t. Maybe he could finally take some time to study his hyungs’ bond.

“Oh you’re back here already.” He heard Mars say.

“Yeah, Soobin’s been dealt with for now and I couldn’t fall asleep so I came here to expand my knowledge some more.”

Mars gave him a small smile. “With how much you’ve been studying here I could say with confidence that your knowledge is at least as big as eighty percent of the Archive, if not more.”

Kai scoffed, he knew Mars didn’t like him spending too much time there. Always said he should enjoy his human life as much as he could. Kai disagreed. What use was of all of this knowledge if there was no one to study it? “You know I won’t be satisfied until it passes hundred percent.”

Mars just rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Kai, I both admire your persistence and find it incredibly annoying. You do know you’ve done and found out things no one, for as long as soulmates exist, did, don’t you? You were the youngest seer to learn how to manipulate bonds, hell you were the youngest seer to willingly be able to come here. And not only that, but the things you observed and studied are things nobody could have even imagined fifty, hundred years ago. You were the first person to actually manage to pull a bond between soulmates closer without it breaking. You were the first person to physically touch the red string. And let’s not mention all the other amazing stuff you can do. Maybe you’re not at a hundred percent knowledge of the things in the Archive but your skill is far beyond anything anyone had managed to do, ever. And it’s only because you have such a brilliant intuition of how to use your powers. You’ve managed to turn you curse into your biggest strength and at such a young age too. So don’t sell yourself short.”

Kai smirked. “I know, I’m the best, am I not. Hohoho.” He threw in the pompous laugh just to see Mars’s face contort even more.

“Oh Fates, I shouldn’t have said that, your ego is already big enough as is.” He said with a horrified expression. Kai then burst out laughing with his usual loud, high-pitched laugh. He could feel the eyeroll Mars gave. “So… you gonna browse by yourself or do you need a specific book?”

That’s when Kai was reminded as to why he came here in the first place.

“Let’s start with the one I checked out earlier and then we’ll see where it takes us.”

That’s how he spent the next few hours? days? he wasn’t sure. He could never quite grasp the passage of time in the Archive. And when he was done, with the help of Mars in deciphering some of the books, he had a very good grasp on the theoretical knowledge of Taehyun and Soobin’s bond.

“You know, once this whole situation is solved I’m going to ban you from the Archive for a decade at least.” Mars said, exhaustion apparent in his voice.

“First of all, as if, you’d be too lonely without me; second, it’s literally impossible for you to be tired so stop bullshitting, and lastly, you can do that?”

Mars didn’t look amused, only giving Kai a blank stare. “Of course I can do that, that’s literally my job. Not allowing people I think shouldn’t be here in. And, yes, I will absolutely do that. Ten years are nothing for me and you, young man, need to live as an actual human being. Be lucky it won’t be a lifelong ban.”

Kai was actually scared a bit by the prospect of being banned from the Archive but, as always, deflected with humor “Don’t “young man” me, Mars.”

“Kai, I’m literally more than a hundred years older then you.”

Kai laughed. “Whatever you say Boomer. You “died” when you were barely older than I am now. A few more years and I will be older.”

“You dumbass, that’s not how it wor-” Mars was cut off before he could begin his rant.

“Anyway, I’m starting to feel a bit tired and I still have the whole day to be awake so I should go back. Let’s hope I’ll be able to fall asleep today. Thanks for the help.” Since Kai was still connected to his body he had to make sure his mind rests from time to time because, if he didn’t, he would actually die.

He looked over at Mars one more time and saw him standing with his arms spread. An invitation he was more than happy to accept.

“Next time you come here I’m not letting you study; we’re doing a pixar movie marathon and cuddling, understand?”

Kai relaxed into the hug and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again he was back in his body, feeling how at least some of the exhaustion disappeared from his bones. He checked his phone and saw it was almost eight in the morning. He didn’t “sleep” for long but it was better than nothing. He went out of his room and didn’t see Taehyun anywhere. He quietly opened the door to Taehyun’s room. He saw him still asleep in the bed. That was good.

After finishing his morning routine he poured himself some cereal and while he was eating he quickly shot a message to Heesung to let him know Taehyun wouldn’t be coming for work and then contacted a classmate he shared most of his classes with to forward him the notes from the classes they had that day. Kai knew he was in no state to attend any classes and that, even if he did, he wouldn’t retain any information. He also cancelled the tutoring sessions he had and called the shelter notifying them he wouldn’t be coming for the rest of the week.

While he was eating suddenly Taehyun stormed out of his room. “Kai, what the hell, I’m going to be late to work. Why didn’t you wake me up? Also what are you still doing home? Don’t you have classes?”

“Hyunnie… I called Heesungie-hyung for you. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go back to work after…yesterday’s events…” He could see a pang of hurt in Taehyun’s eyes. But almost immediately it shifted to anger. Strange.

“What? Kai, I’m fine. I’m not about to let him stop me from living my life like a normal person.”

Now Kai became slightly worried. Taehyun was actually angry (?) at Soobin? That was very unlike him. “Taehyunnie… what are you saying?”

There was something bitter in the way his eyes turned away from Kai. “Nothing, I’m just saying that I need to work to make money so we can both live comfortably. I can’t just take days off unannounced."

Oh. Oh no. Kai knew that tone; that reasoning. He didn’t like where this was going. Well if Taehyun was willing to invoke the I-pay-for-everything-around-here than Kai was also willing to play dirty. “Taehyun… I’m just worried… You know I love you…And I’m scared you’re going to hurt yourself even more…So please… Stay home…Just for today.” He gave him his best puppy eyes and he could see his features softening. It looked like it worked. Kai didn’t like bringing up his dumb crush into guilt tripping Taehyun but he gave him no other choice. Usually he would go for something bond-related but it seemed like Taehyun would say something in lieu of “I don’t care” and Kai really didn’t want to hear those words from him.

Taehyun hated himself for being an asshole to Kai but when the other looked at him with those eyes he was reminded of the thing Yeonjun said to him yesterday. Maybe he could be happier with Kai. He thought about all the years of suppressed feelings. He never even allowed himself to seriously entertain the idea of dating Kai. He knew Kai would be against it. He knew it could ruin their friendship forever. Because in the end it would just be a meaningless relationship and Kai would just be a placeholder until he met Soobin. But what if Soobin never was in the picture? What if they didn’t have the inevitable expiration date on their relationship? Could they have been happy? Could they _be_ happy?

There were a million questions flying around his head and he decided, since Kai made him take a day off, he would spend that day not worrying about anything.

“Fine, I’ll stay.” Kai gave a sigh of relief but before he had a chance to say anything he added “But under one condition. We don’t talk about him. We don’t talk about soulmates. Period. Today you’re not a seer and I don’t have a soulmate. Just for today we’re just Kai and Taehyun. Okay?”

He could see the slight bit of pain on Kai’s face but it was gone as soon as it appeared. It was okay asking for just that, wasn’t it? As if reading his mind Kai responded.

“Fine. We can do that. For today.”

Taehyun knew Kai would agree. Because that’s what Kai did. He always put Taehyun’s needs first. It made him think. Was…was he using him? Was he a bad person for putting him in a situation where he had to go with what he wanted? Wasn’t it okay? For just one day? Taehyun needed it for just one day… 

Pushing aside the negative thoughts, Taehyun forced a smile.

“Great! We can take a mini vacation today. We could go out to eat, go to the movie theater and take a walk. I heard there’s even a small festival nearby, we could go check it out. Maybe there’ll be fireworks. Oh and also, the arcade. We haven’t been there in years. Oh, and maybe we could go bowling too if we have time.” Taehyun did his best to be enthusiastic.

Kai could clearly see the thread Taehyun was hanging onto. The small sense of normalcy he needed in his life to manage to get through this. That’s the only reason he agreed. But that didn’t stop him from having a bad feeling about all of it. He felt that Taehyun wasn’t sharing everything. But if Taehyun needed him to let it go for just one day he was willing to do so.

When he went to get ready he sat on the bed and closed his eyes.

“Again?”

He could see the surprise on Mars’ face.

“Just for a moment.”

“What is it?” Mars asked him, his voice gentle.

“He’s acting weird.”

“Taehyun?” Kai knew Mars knew.

“Yes.”

“How so?”

“He wants us to hang out.”

“That’s not unusual. You live together.” Kai knew Mars was walking him through whatever came over him and he was eternally grateful.

“Yes but… it’s like he’s given up on their bond.”

“Oh?”

“You were right Mars. On me needing to give up on him.”

“You really should Kai, for your own good.”

“I know. I shouldn’t be wanting this. I must not let him talk me into breaking them apart.” Kai felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“I doubt he could, you’re too good of a person to do this.”

“Am I though?”

Mars took his hands in his own and fixed him with a serious look “Of course you are. I’m sorry you have to suffer like this. I know it’s not easy.”

“It’s okay, don’t feel sorry for me, you know I hate it when you do. Besides, we’ve already been through this.” Kai felt the tears on his cheeks but he was starting to feel calmer.

“You have, and you did well that time sweetie.”

“Yeah I did,” Kai was embarrassed by how shaky his voice was but it was hard keeping it steady with the sobs wanting to get out. “And that was two years where he even found other people.”

Mars held a hand on his cheek, wiping away his tears.

“And I managed. This is just one day.

I can do this.

Just one day.

I’ll manage.”

“Of course you can, Kai.”

Mars wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly.

“You’re so strong, Kai, much stronger than I ever was. You can do this.”

Kai nodded against Mars’ shoulder as he held onto him with every fiber of his soul. He let the sobs come out and they echoed in the vast space of the Archive and with each one he let out he could feel himself relax just the bit more until he could breathe normally once again. Never once did Mars’s hold weaken.

“Thank you Hwa.” It wasn’t often Kai called him by his real name but he needed him to know it was the human part of him he was thanking.

“You know where to find me Hyuka. I’ll always be here for you.”

Kai got up and wiped away the leftover tears. Mars helped him a lot just by being there and he finally felt like he could do this. He could put away all his longing and romantic feelings he had for Taehyun and just have fun with him for a day. Like two best friends they were supposed to be.

So that’s how their day went. They did everything they could think of. Kai doesn’t remember when the last time they had so much fun was. The last time they just hung out, no worrying about any of the soulmate business. In a way he felt like he needed it too. To remember all the reasons he fell in love with Taehyun in the first place. Just to take a breather and enjoy life. Maybe this was what Mars was talking about when he told him to live like a regular human. Maybe he would be able to do it more often now that he knew how it felt.

Their day finished with watching the fireworks over Han river. And just as the last of the lights went out Kai felt the dread approaching like the stormy clouds in the distance. Because their one day was over. And as much as Kai wished he could feel like this every day he knew it was impossible. Because Soobin needed them and he had to take the responsibility that came with the powers he had been given.

“Let’s go home Taehyun.”

He gently took his hand and led them back to their apartment. But once they were inside Taehyun didn’t let go.

“Sleep with me?”

And how could Kai refuse? How, when he saw the same dread he was feeling reflected in Taehyun’s eyes? So he let Taehyun drag him to his bedroom and they both cuddled up close on the bed. Both of them were afraid of what the rising sun would bring. But just for now, Kai would indulge himself in the sweet smell of Taehyun’s bed sheets, the same one Taehyun brought with himself wherever he went.

* * *

Taehyun was awoken by the morning sun. He was warm, a stark contrast to how he felt the day before. Kai’s arms were around him, and he could feel the rise and fall of his chest against his back.

Their one day was up. But lying here, surrounded by Kai’s warmth Taehyun couldn’t help but feel like this was the place for him. Kai’s arms were his home. Always were. Maybe his heart wasn’t beating as fast as it had been when he felt Soobin’s touch for that short time but maybe he didn’t need that. Maybe just this warmth was all he needed.

He tried getting up, hoping, if he could manage to get out of the house before Kai woke up, that he could avoid talking to him. He was aware of just how immature that was of him but at this point he didn’t care. He didn’t want to get back to reality.

Just when he was about to get up he felt Kai’s hold on him tighten.

“You’re not going anywhere until we talk.”

He could feel Kai’s breath brush against the top of his head. So he sighed.

“I need to go to work Kai. I can’t stay and cuddle.”

Taehyun could feel one of Kai’s arms release him but right after it gave him a smack across his head before returning to the same place.

“I seriously have to fight the urge to just straight up tear up and then burn the pieces of that psychology degree on your wall.”

Taehyun would laugh at the threat if he wasn’t being held down by Kai. So he opted for silence. Kai waited for him to speak and when he realized that Taehyun would be giving him the silent treatment he gave the biggest sigh which tickled Taehyun’s head.

“Fine, if you don’t want to speak you’ll at least listen then.”

Taehyun had the urge to cover his ears and start humming to block out Kai’s voice but even in his current state he knew that was way too childish. So he resigned to his fate.

“Hyunnie… Let me start by saying that, at least physically, Soobin is fine. Beomgyu and I found him that night but I’m not sure how he is mentally, I told Beomgyu to call me if anything happens, he still hasn’t so I’m assuming he’s at least better than how he was when we found him. You should’ve seen him, Hyunnie, it was like he wasn’t himself, like he just left his body.”

“The same way he left me.” Taehyun couldn’t stop the cynic remark from leaving his mouth.

Kai squeezed him just a bit. Taehyun couldn’t decipher if it was supposed to be comforting or threatening.

“Hyunnie… Look I know you’re hurt. It would be impossible for you not to be. It sounds mean when I say it like that but I expected you to be hurt, sad, feel alone. But what I don’t get is that you’re angry. Not that you don’t have any right to be but that’s not you Taehyun. You’ve never been angry at him. I just wished you would talk to me about it.”

Taehyun couldn’t break past all the hurt he was feeling.

“What is there to talk about Kai? He left. We met and he left. It’s simple. He obviously doesn’t want me. It’s actually been obvious for a long time. And I just decided to delude myself in thinking we had any chance. That he would give me a chance. I decided to live in a lie when I could’ve been happy all along.” Taehyun managed to wiggle around in Kai’s arms enough that he turned around so he was facing Kai, looking into his eyes. “And now that the bond is broken we finally can be.”

Kai suddenly sat up on the bed. “What the fuck Taehyun? Your bond isn’t broken.”

Now that confused Taehyun. “What?”

“Why would you think that? Haven’t you tried checking?”

“Because for years you’ve been telling me that if we met at a wrong time the bond would break. And I can’t feel anything from him? What am I supposed to think?” Taehyun was sitting now too. He could see the look of surprise on Kai’s face but it was there only for a second.

“Well, I’m telling you now. Your bond isn’t broken. It’s actually impossible for you to break it. Only a seer with the exact intention could.”

Taehyun stayed quiet for a moment before softly saying “Well, wouldn’t it be better if it was?”

Kai’s eyes widened. “Taehyun, what are you saying? Did you not hear me say that it was impossible?”

Taehyun scoffed. “Yes, and I also heard you say that you could break it. So why not? Yeonjun was right, you should just break it and then nothing could stop us from being together. “

There was disbelief in Kai’s eyes. Taehyun expected that kind of reaction. But he hoped that in the end Kai would understand that he didn’t want the pain anymore.

“Taehyun. What makes you think that I would ever, in a million years, do that? And I would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t use me being in love with you as an excuse for running away from your problems.” Kai’s voice was cold but Taehyun still didn’t want to give up.

“It’s not just you Kai. Don’t you get that I love you too?”

“It’s not the same Taehyun. It could never be the same.”

Taehyun was getting frustrated. “And who are you to say that? What do you know?”

He could see something snap in Kai before he closed his eyes. And immediately after Kai closed his eyes Taehyun felt an overwhelming feeling all over his body. It was prickling his skin, twisting his insides, crushing his lungs, squeezing his heart. It felt similar to when he connected to Soobin but this was just so wrong. And that’s when he heard Kai’s voice in his head clear as day even when he could see that Kai’s lips didn’t move.

“Who am I?

I am a fucking seer Taehyun.

I

SEE”

And as soon as he felt it, the sensation was gone and Kai opened his eyes, a trickle of blood running down his nose.

“Do you get it now?” he said wiping the blood into the sleeve of his shirt.

And even after the horror he just experienced Taehyun couldn’t stop himself. He was practically pleading. “Kai… With Soobin all I feel is pain. I just get hurt, over and over again. But I know that, with you, I could be happy. Imagine if we could just have more amazing, fun dates, like the one we had yesterday…” Before he could continue he was interrupted by Kai.

“Like the date yesterday? A date? Taehyun, you…” And slowly the look of realization dawned on Kai’s face and as soon as it did tears started pooling up. “You….you used me Taehyun… Instead of just talking to me you used me to prove some dumb point to yourself. I….you… Taehyun how could you?”

If Taehyun ever saw what heartbreak looked like this would be it. And suddenly, as if waking up from some kind of coma, the weight of his words and actions crushed him. He knew he fucked up. He didn’t mean any of it but there was nothing that he could to take it back now. He wanted to say something, anything, to try and ease the pure pain he saw in Kai’s eyes, the pain he inflicted but then Kai’s phone rang.

He saw Kai wiping his tears as he answered and he felt his own cheeks dampen.

“Hi, hyung, what is it? Is everything alright?”

“Shit, still?”

“Yeah I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

Taehyun saw the worry starting to overtake Kai’s face. When the call ended he returned his gaze to Taehyun. There was still hurt there. Taehyun knew it wouldn’t disappear for some time.

“Ah, I see you’ve slowly started to regain your senses.” His voice was bitter but it was just to hide the immense sadness in his heart. “I hate seeing you cry Taehyun, but I hope you’ll reflect a bit. You can’t keep doing this, neither to yourself nor to me.”

Taehyun was too choked up to say anything so he just nodded his head. He couldn’t believe Kai was still civil with him.

“Anyway, I was wrong. Beomgyu hyung just told me Soobin hasn’t woken up since I put him to sleep. So I need to go there, see if I can do anything.”

Taehyun, even with his vision blurred, could see just how tired Kai was as he was getting up. He didn’t even realize when he grabbed Kai’s wrist. Kai just shot him a cold look but didn’t shove his hand away. So Taehyun gathered every ounce of energy to get his voice through the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t dare look at Kai and when he spoke he could feel a new wave of tears. “Sorry is not going to cut it this time Taehyun.”

But then he felt Kai lowering himself to his level to meet his eyes. And through all the sadness and hurt he could see a glint of gentleness in his eyes.

“But it’s a start.”

And with that he left leaving Taehyun sitting on his bed, silent tears cascading down his cheeks, thinking about how he just kept fucking over the people in his life.

* * *

Beomgyu woke up late. It wasn’t that odd since he and Kai spent all night searching for Soobin. The events still felt a bit unreal to him. He hoped Soobin would be a bit better. At least good enough to talk to him.

But when he left his room he didn’t see Soobin anywhere. So he checked his room and saw him still asleep. It worried him but he thought that maybe Soobin did need more rest so Beomgyu went to remove a few of the many blankets Soobin was underneath, trying hard not to wake him up. He saw how his cheeks were a bit redder so he hoped he would be more comfortable if he wasn’t being crushed by all the blankets.

He softly padded out and then continued with his day, checking on Soobin now and then. He kept on sleeping but nothing seemed out of the ordinary so Beomgyu let him.

There was still some residual guilt in Beomgyu but he recalled Kai’s words and it helped him in not spiraling. Instead he buried himself in his work. He had called the company that he wouldn’t be able to come into the office but that he could work from home so he had to work on a few tracks and send in his progress.

After he had his late lunch he noticed the lack of any contact from his soulmate so he texted him not wanting to disturb him if he was in the middle of something.

**LLOML**

hey Junnie

are you okay?

haven’t heard from you the whole day

miss u :((

sorry baby…

I’ve been

busy

oh

well are you free now

?

yeah

do you want to come over?

I mean

I still have some work to finish

but you could just chill here

and then we can hang

okay…

Beomgyu was glad he finally met his soulmate. Honestly he really needed someone to help him take his mind off of his best friend that still hasn’t woken up. Otherwise he would go insane worrying and end up trying to wake him up and if there really wasn’t anything wrong with him he would take away the precious rest he needed. He contemplated calling Kai but decided to wait until the next day.

When Yeonjun came Beomgyu was still working on a song as he predicted so he made Yeonjun sit on his bed while he worked as best as he could in his homemade “studio”.

And just as he was wrapping things up Yeonjun spoke, putting down the phone he was scrolling on until then. Beomgyu noticed before that that Yeonjun seemed a bit troubled and like he had a lot on his mind.

“Gyu… do you think bonds can be…. wrong?”

Beomgyu chuckled softly. “Are you dissatisfied with me hyung?”

He was just joking but he could see the panic rising on Yeonjun’s face.

“NO! I mean no, of course not, Gyu. You’re everything I ever dreamed of and more.”

Beomgyu laughed and turned a bit toward Yeonjun. “I know.” He gave a wink, “Don’t worry, I was just joking. I think I know where you’re going with this so just let me finish this up and then we can talk.”

Yeonjun patiently waited for the next few minutes until Beomgyu wrapped everything up.

Honestly, after leaving Taehyun that morning and cooling down he started to feel bad for lashing out at him and then demanding Taehyun to listen to him when even he himself wasn’t sure of what he was talking about. He spent most of the day wracking his head over it but constantly kept coming to the same conclusion. But it didn’t make any sense. Soulmates weren’t supposed to hurt each other that much and yet even after all of that Taehyun and Soobin’s bond was strong, stronger even then it was before.

Now that Beomgyu had invited him over he wondered if it would be okay to talk to the other side, to at least try to see their perspective.

He was brought out of his head by Beomgyu’s voice.

“No.”

“What?”

Beomgyu just smiled at him.

“I’m answering your question.

No, I don’t think bonds can be wrong.”

Of course, he expected that to be the answer. That was the part that was more obscure. So Yeonjun continued to his second point.

“Okay, but aren’t soulmate bonds supposed to be a good thing? A soulmate should be someone who brings you happiness, right? They aren’t supposed to hurt you.”

Beomgyu got up and sat next to Yeonjun on the bed. He had a soft, patient look in his eyes, as if he was readying himself to explain something to a child. It didn’t sit very well with Yeonjun but just the fact that there was no malice or degradation in those eyes calmed him down.

“Now that is a much harder question, don’t you think?

Let’s go bit by bit.

Are bonds good? Depends on what you define as good. They are here to bring you your soulmate and that’s it.

Is soulmate someone who brings you happiness? They should be. A soulmate is someone who is made to understand you and help you through life.

Now here comes the tricky part. Helping, and I mean truly helping people is hard. It’s hard both for the person helping and the person receiving help. Because even if you perfectly understand your soulmate sometimes they don’t understand themselves and getting them to do it can be painful. Not every day can be happy.”

This is where Yeonjun got lost every time.  
“Yes but what if the bad days outnumber the good ones? How can that be a good bond? When there’s only hurt and pain.”

Beomgyu took one of his hands into his.

“And how would you know that Junnie? I would understand this if we were eighty year old men and with one foot in the grave but we’re not. Both Taehyun and Soobin are still young. They have a chance to make their good days outnumber the bad ones. But even that is a faulty way of thinking hyung. Because you never know when you’re going to die. So how can you tell when the odds will shift to more good days then the bad? You shouldn’t be counting that; especially when they’ve barely given each other a chance to step into each other’s lives.

Even I can say that, just in sheer numbers, our bond has made my life worse more times than better.” To this Yeonjun’s eyes widened. Yes, even he cursed the bond once or twice in his life but to learn that Beomgyu didn’t feel the same? It was a guttural punch to Yeonjun. Beomgyu obviously noticed his shock. “Yes, hyung, there was a period in my life when I actually tried to break our bond because it caused me misery. Remember all those times we regularly almost met; all those times when we were close enough for the string to tighten just for it to fall the next second. And then you went to the States and then it didn’t happen for a long time and I kept thinking that I must’ve missed it. Our opportunity to meet. That every time we’ve gotten closer the Fates just decided it wasn’t meant to be and kept us from meeting each other. Those were the worries and fears festering inside of me for years until they were too much to take. I tried to break our bond. Tried to tug it out, cut it, dissolve it, anything, just to get this stupid string off my finger. But nothing worked. And so I just gave up.

And guess who got me out of it. Guess who tried with every ounce of his being, despite his own lack of faith in his own soulmate to convince me it wasn’t worth giving up and that I was definitely going to meet you.”

Beomgyu had a soft and sad smile on his face.

“It was Soobin. He made me see that there was no need to rush so I waited. I waited for you patiently. And now that I have you all of those days of sadness and suffering feel like nothing more than a bad dream and if I died tomorrow I wouldn’t be thinking about the fact that there were more bad days than the good. I would just be infinitely happy that I got at least one good day with you. And I hope that you feel the same.”

Beomgyu paused for a moment and Yeonjun felt breathless by the amount of love he was radiating. He couldn’t really answer Beomgyu because for him their bond was always something positive. It always made him happy. But hearing this from Beomgyu, maybe he could start to understand why both Taehyun and Soobin held onto their bond so tightly.

“So I think it would be fair to let Soobin and Taehyun experience the same happiness at least once, don’t you think? They just need time.

Also you asked if it’s possible that a bond can be wrong and I know you meant theirs but from what Kai told me yesterday, their bond couldn’t be more right.”

The mention of his younger brother made Yeonjun nervous. He had a feeling that this time, getting forgiveness from Taehyun would be much easier than from Kai. “What do you mean?”

“Apparently Kai figured out the full extent of their bond yesterday and the short of it is that it’s unbreakable. So, for a person like Soobin, who thinks cutting off the ties with as many people as possible and pushing everyone away is what he needs to do because he would keep hurting them, a bond that makes it impossible to do so is perfect.”

“Oh…” It was all Yeonjun could say. Maybe he was wrong to push Taehyun to break the bond. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so narrow minded and too focused on the present. Beomgyu made him realize that.

“Do you get it now?” There wasn’t anything condescending or mean in Beomgyu’s tone and that’s part of what made Yeonjun so receptive to his opinion.

“I…think I do. At least a bit. I’ll need to think about it some more. You kinda just turned my whole worldview upside down.”

“That’s good. Take all the time you need. I’m always here for you and it is kinda my duty to make you realize that you’ve been an asshole.” Beomgyu’s voice was teasing but Yeonjun couldn’t help feeling a bit offended.

“What? When have I been an asshole?”

To this Beomgyu laughed and to Yeonjun’s great horror and confusion, smacked his head.

“When you’ve been telling this stuff to Taehyun, and I’m sure you have. Trying to separate soulmates is an asshole move; don’t know what else to tell you hyung.”

Oh….when Beomgyu put it like that. Yeah… he could see it. He needed to apologize to everyone for steamrolling them with his opinions.

* * *

Yeonjun stayed over that night and Beomgyu couldn’t be more grateful. His fears started to prove themselves true when Soobin still didn’t wake up by the time Beomgyu was tired. He was definitely going to call Kai in the morning. He didn’t want to take another night of sleep from him. At least he had Yeonjun and snuggling close in his arms, the worry wasn’t so crushing.

When he woke up in the morning Yeonjun was still asleep so he carefully got up as to not wake him up and softly stepped outside his room, taking his phone with him. He had a tiny hope that maybe Soobin had woken up but when went in his room that hope was crushed. Soobin was still in the same position Beomgyu had left him in.

When he came closer he tried shaking Soobin a bit, trying to wake him up. It didn’t work. That was when he noticed a wet patch on the blanket and when he moved the blanket a scream tore through his throat.

Underneath the blanket was Soobin’s hand, covered in blood, the skin on the knuckles peeling off and the surrounding area bruised. To his own horror, when he completely removed the blanket from Soobin he saw his other hand in the same state.

He barely registered when Yeonjun burst in the room. “Beomgyu what happened? Are you okay?” But then he let out a sharp gasp.

“Shit Beomgyu what….what happened to him?”  
But Beomgyu was already too busy fumbling around on his phone, trying to call Kai, to answer him.

In the time it took Kai to get there, Beomgyu did whatever first aid he could do on Soobin, but the wounds just kept bleeding. When the bell rang both he and Yeonjun went to let Kai in.

But the moment Kai laid his eyes on Yeonjun he backed him into a wall clutching his shirt.

“You. How many times do I have to tell you to stop meddling into Taehyun’s and my business? When will you get it through your thick skull that you shouldn’t be trying to separate soulmates? Tell me hyung are you getting some kind of sick kick out of messing with Taehyun’s head?”

Kai looked like he was about to bite Yeonjun’s head off so Beomgyu stepped in, placing a calming hand on Kai’s shoulder.

“Please, Kai. I know you have every right to be mad at him but I promise you I already talked to him and he learned. So please, help Soobin.”

That seemed to have snapped Kai out of his anger as he let Yeonjun go.

“Okay, yeah, sorry. Show me what happened.”

Kai felt just a tiny bit guilty over snapping at Yeonjun but all of those emotions disappeared when he saw the state Soobin was in.

“And he hasn’t woken up since I put him to sleep?”

Beomgyu just shook his head.

“And the hands?”

“I only noticed this morning. I should’ve called you yesterday.”

He quickly looked at Beomgyu. He couldn’t deal with all of them losing their composure.

“Don’t blame yourself, hyung. Yeonjun please take him outside of this room. I need to see what I can do.”

He was still angry at Yeonjun but he had other priorities. He tried to reach the bond but it was all over the place, tightly wrapping Soobin in a cocoon and spiking all around him so that Kai couldn’t even come closer.

He closed his eyes.

“How do I enter dreams?”

Mars looked up at him. “What?”

“Don’t try to bullshit me I know you can enter other people’s dreams, now how can I do it?”

Mars released a sigh.

“You can’t.”

Kai felt desperation take over him but Mars spoke up again.

“Unless I grant you access.”

Kai wasn’t stupid; he knew there was a catch. “But?”

“It’ll be like you become part of the bond. If there’s anything painful you’ll experience it too. And you could die.”

“It doesn’t matter hyung, he’s suffering and I need to help him.”

“Is it Taehyun?”

“Soobin.”

Mars gave him a caring look. “You’re too good for this world Kai.” He said before he waved his hand and a door appeared next to Kai.”

“I give you permission. Good luck Kai.”

Kai wasted no time in entering.

* * *

.

There was a huge wall in front of him.

He needed to tear it down.

He didn’t know why but he needed to do it.

He needed to get to the other side.

But he had nothing but his fists.

He doesn’t even know how long he’s been pounding against it.

His knuckles were completely bloody but he didn’t care about it or about the pain.

Not getting to the other side was much more painful to him.

If he could just….

“Soobin-hyung!”

A voice called from the void behind him.

It didn’t matter.

He needed to break the wall.

“Soobin-hyung!”

It was closer now.

He continued pounding against the wall.

A hand grabbed his arm and turned him around.

He wanted to shove it off but then he saw how bloodied it was. And his eyes finally looked up to a familiar face.

“K-Kai?”

Kai’s eyes were full of pain.

“Hi, Soobinnie.”

And Soobin was extremely confused. Almost enough to forget about the urge to tear down the wall.

“K-Kai….I need to… it won’t break…”

He tried to punch it again but was stopped when Kai, with a hiss, grabbed both his arms.

“Hyung…. You need to stop.”

Stop? But he couldn’t until the wall was destroyed.

“Listen to me Soobinnie….You’re hurting yourself. It won’t do you any good. Someone else has the power to tear down this wall but it’s not you. You need to let it go.”

Soobin wanted to tell him he could do it, to let him, but the pain twisting Kai’s face snapped him out of it.

“O-okay… I’ll let it go. “

There was a small smile on Kai’s face, despite the pain.

“Thank you, hyung. Now take my hand and close your eyes.”

And so Soobin fixated himself on Kai’s request to keep fighting off the urge to go back to punching the wall. He took one dainty, bloody hand in his own. He noticed how similar their state was. He wondered what happened to Kai.

He looked him in the eyes and noticed the small reassuring smile didn’t disappear.

“Ready?”

Soobin nodded and closed his eyes.

* * *

When he opened them again he was in his bed, the light stinging his eyes.

There was also the pain in his hands.

Once his eyes adjusted to the light he noticed someone’s head on his bed. It was Kai. He was sitting on the floor, resting his head on Soobin’s bed. And to Soobin’s horror, just like in the dream, his hands were all bloodied.

Soobin raised his own and saw them bandaged, blood soaking through. He tried calling to Kai.

Soon his eyes fluttered open and a tired smile appeared on his face. There was blood coming out of his nose.

“You’re back.”

That’s when the door of the room burst open and Beomgyu flew in.

“I heard Soobin’s voice, Kai you did it” But his excitement was short lived as his gaze fell to Kai’s hands. “What the hell happened to you Kai? Yeonjun quick, bring a towel and more bandages.”

Soobin could see Yeonjun rushing around the apartment. But Soobin’s mind was still hazy.

At one point Yeonjun also came inside quickly pressing one wet towel on Kai’s nape and holding the other on his face while Beomgyu took care of his hands. “You idiot. You overworked yourself again. What am I gonna do with you, Kai?” Yeonjun scolded but worry bordering on panic was obvious in his voice even to Soobin’s hazy mind.

After everything calmed down a bit and Kai was taken care of, Soobin managed to clear his head, at least a bit and, slowly, he started recalling what happened. Storming out on Taehyun, finding himself in the same park he was in just a few days before, freezing on the bench but not wanting to go home. And then….nothing. It felt like he lost consciousness somewhere in there.

Both Yeonjun’s and Beomgyu’s attention were still on Kai when he spoke up. “What exactly happened?”

All three pairs of eyes shot up to him and, in a moment, Beomgyu was by his side, giving him a careful but tight hug.

“Binnie… God I was so worried.” Beomgyu spoke into his chest.

“I’m alright Gyu. Well, besides the hands.” Soobin tried to sound reassuring.

“How much do you remember?” The question came from Kai.

So Soobin told him everything he remembered to which Kai just nodded. It was Beomgyu who filled him in on everything that happened in the gap in his memory.

When he ended his story Soobin turned to Kai.

“How is all of that even possible? How can our bond be unbreakable?”

Kai gave a sigh. He looked tired but determined.

“I think it’s time to finally tell you what being a seer is and what exactly your bond with Taehyun is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter around four or five times, I don't even know anymore.  
> I'm still not satisfied with it. None of the versions I wrote felt good enough. It honestly feels like I won't be able to be satisfied with this fic anymore so I'll just try to wrap it up the way I intended and that's it.  
> Sorry for making you wait for so long just because I couldn't make up my mind.
> 
> See you next time, hopefuly soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/nnyamj00nn) or you can ask me anything on [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/nnyam)


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